Rant 91 - 31/3/12 Subject: Accountability

Rant number 91


I have been thinking about accountability for a couple of days now. After the government caused petrol hysteria - some people lost all common sense, with what is a very volatile, inflammable liquid.

As a result, a women through either a lack of intelligence, common sense or through getting herself into a blind panic managed to severely burn herself in her kitchen.

She was moving petrol between containers using a glass measuring jug, while cooking her lunch with an open flame - the inevitable disaster occurred and she is now in hospital with 40 degree burns.

I put this up on my facebook profile - and was surprised by some of the responses, which were less than sympathetic. I suppose the question is:

Who is accountable in this case?

We're not talking court here, but its an interesting question.

In my opinion, the woman in question could not have been that intelligent or educated. I mean, its petrol: its explosive and it burns really easily. You and I know that, and we wouldn't be mucking about with it in our kitchen. Lets face it - its common sense practically to the point of instinct.

If you accept then that she was not sufficiently intelligent to grasp the concept of how dangerous what she was doing was, you have to realise how dangerous the rubbish that the politicians speak can be.

I don't listen to them, because they haven't spoken the truth in years (its their occupation,) and most of you are just the same. Naive people though listen to what these guys say. To paraphrase: tell an idiot its time to panic - and (s)he probably will.

My point then, is that Francis Maude - who told people to fill jerry cans and to panic buy fuel- even though there is not even a date set for the strike - is almost as guilty as a women of extreme naivety.

Talk is too cheap, and people like him - private school educated, hugely out of touch and generally deplorably Torie - need to be punished for every slip up, because there is no excuse.

Rant over.

Rant 90 - 30/3/12 Subject: The problem with bottles

Rant number 90


Todays rant is firstly about sauces. I am quite meticulous about them. As far as I am concerned  each meal has a condiment that goes best with it and no variation is allowed!

Bacon sandwiches or fry-ups - brown sauce.
Burgers - Ketchup.
Hotdogs - Mustard & ketchup.
Chicken - Barbeque sauce.
Chinese - Soy sauce.

etc. etc.
Me being so specific about things, means that I - at any time need to have at my disposal quite a few bottles of sauce. That's just fine with me, but the ever bottles creates a problem - and brings me to my point! (Roughly 8 lines of text to get me to the point, is that a waffling record?)

Bottles are wasteful!

Whatever the type of bottle you have, be it traditional hard sided glass or modern, plastic and squidgy -  there is no way to get all of the sauce/beer/oil/whatever out of the bottle. It just bugs me so much!

I hate wastage in all of its forms, and there must be literally a million or or litres of wasted brown sauce, ketchup, special sauce, mayo and a hundred other types of sauce and drinks sitting in bottles - clinging on for dear life.

Its a worldwide problem - someone needs to invent something! I mean, the design of a bottle has been around for ages - and its not exactly evolved.

Glass bottles particularly are a real pain. I know that they are nicer to look at than their plastic counterparts and that they have some kind of historical appeal. The thing is, that they were replaced for a good reason! Strong tasting things like sauces are well housed in a plastic bottle - and can be forced out at will.

Have you ever tried to pour ketchup from a brand new bottle!? Its just impossible, the suction defeats gravity hands down - forcing you to go for the 'knife poke' technique - which I really don't like! The end of the bottle too is always particularly full of wastage - it sucks.

The only things that should be in glass bottles is substances like beer - which can be tainted by outside interference! Even then though - the wastage upsets me no end! I can't even begin to imagine how many pints of wastage I've left in the bottom of bottles over the years.

Come on scientists, sort it out: wastage free bottles need to be invented soon (you can call them wottles if you want, but you will have to pay me for the name - because I have invented that (you read it here people!))

Rant over.

Rant 89 - 29/3/12 Subject: Keep calm and...

Rant number 89


I am fed up to death of seeing fucking 'keep calm and carry on' posters. Its doing my tits in!

Like any other Facebook fad, the comedy value of them has long since worn off.


I can see the initial appeal, its a good slogan - one of many that the war years brought us. The thing about the internet in general though - is that people like to 'make things their own,' which is to say 'make things shit!'

How many times have you not been able to find something on youtube - for all of the versions and repetitions and copying that goes on? It is ludicrous!

So back to the point. Put 'keep calm and' into google images - and you can see just how much of this rubbish is going:

Keep calm    & watch TV (hilarious)
Keep corma  & curry on (pun-tacular)
Find vampire & get bitten (????)
Keep calm     & buy stuff (sadly kind of true)
Keep calm     & grow a mustache (sound advice...)
Keep calm     & put the kettle on (yeah)

Excuse me if I stop, my sides are on the verge of splitting and I fear it may stain the carpet.

Do these people actually think they are funny? Do they not understand humour or irony? why do they do it!? People should be saved from themselves, they really should.

The only remotely decent parody my searches yielded was 'Bloody Hell We're Buggered now' in the correct typography.

I am just fed up of people putting these things up on facebook - especially when they haven't produced them themselves! There is nothing worse than when people try to express themselves, using something someone else produced - which wasn't even funny to begin with!

Anyway - I just hope this fad goes away.

Bloody trends!

Here's my rendition for you all to enjoy anyway.

Rant over.

Rant 88 - 28/3/12 Subject: Fuel panic (continued)

Rant number 88


I was so exasperated about this issue that I have already had a mini rant about it on facebook.

As those that know me well will already be aware however - I nearly always have something more to say!

So - what's up with people? Really?

Last week, the budget was at the front of peoples minds (and is still at the front of mine) and the government have been trying really hard to come up with a distraction.

So now, suddenly - there's going to be a crisis with fuel(again): an area that none of us can afford to ignore. Public transport is after all - shit (see Mondays rant for details on the bus,) and not even an option for many.

Even with that in mind though, there has been a general statement that the tanker drivers may strike (may strike) if a deal cannot be struck. No date has been set yet - no-one said that there will be no fuel tomorrow, the day after - or even next week/month!

Its from the government that the suggestions have come - surprise surprise. One even said to fill your tank and some containers - top advice that: not only misleading information but also dangerous - gotta love idiots in power.

The thing is, none of us had to take the bait - but the weak soon drag down the strong in a pyramid of pumping (at the petrol pumps - you dirty minded sod!)

I for instance, had around of quarter of a tank (admittedly about the size of a coke bottle in my tiny car) when I got home from work. Usually, this wouldn't worry me. This would get me to work and back -  and I would fill up on the way to band tomorrow. After my neighbour told me however that people were queuing already, I was forced to pop up and make a special trip (admittedly, its just round the corner - but I never usually make a special trip as a point of principle) to fill my tank.

Why do people panic so, what a set of bloody pillocks - wait till the date is announced, then you can panic as much as you fucking want.

I'm not one for conspiracy theories (although, I do think that being paranoid doesn't mean that people aren't out to get you!) but this stinks of a bit of government distraction. They've been doing it for years:

Tell an idiot that his barns on fire and he will neglect to notice that you have just picked his pocket, shagged his favorite sheep and tractor.

I'm not an idiot, I can see through this transparent distraction. The papers don't need to focus on this nothing fuel crises, they need to get back to the budget and making the Tories uncomfortable - hell, we all do!

Rant over.

Rant 87 - 27/3/12 Subject: Bad blogs

Rant number 87


The inspiration for this rant yet again was provided to me by BBC's news-beat. Fertile ground indeed it seems!

It was about a popular blogging site (not this one, I think it was tumblr?,) which has made a decision to filter certain subject matter on their website. Good on them I must say (although of course, someone has to protest.)
Which brings me swiftly round (although, admittedly once again not all that swiftly. It generally takes me at least 4 lines to get to the point of my rants - does that qualify me as some kind of waffler? Oh crap I'm a waffler...) to my point.

The kind of content that they are trying to filter - is blog content that suggests, condones and deals with negatively, the very fragile subjects of self harm, suicide and eating disorders.

People may kick out against this type of filtration and call it supposedly 'against their freedom of speech.' In truth though, everything you write online has the potential to affect someone; anyone.

Without trying to unfairly stereotype, this type of content is written mostly by teenagers, for teenagers. The thing is, what some write to vent their frustrations, others will read to increase there own. What if a girl or boy with an eating disorder comes across a blog which tells them that there is an easy way to get thinner by - say, making themselves sick. Most might think the information is ridiculous, but others may take it to hard. Its dangerous.

The thing is though - that a hundred thousand million (probably) websites exist out there where you can write anything, upload practically anything and where no-one would have the knowledge, resources or inclination to filter the information.

The internet has some dark, dark corners and its an organic beast, morphing like a virus to protect even its seediest inhabitants. Filtering some information in one place doesn't do anything. Somewhere else will come along. A special forum - possibly disguised for instance? Its not hard, and teenagers are smart when it comes to evasion.

My rants may be occasionally spiteful, often contrite and sarcastic - but I never write anything I think could hurt anyone! I wish that there was a way to make the rest like it.

Rant over.

Rant 86 - 26/3/12 Subject: The peasant wagon

Rant number 86

I am pretty sure that I may have cholera, and a little bit of leprosy probably some almost definitely some dysentery. 

Why? I hear you cry my friends. Have I been swimming in some filth infested plague pit? Have I been smearing myself with filth, have I been eating from a kebab shop. 

No. 

Far worse, I had to get the bus.

For years and years, I was forced to get the bus on a daily basis - which was fine. 

My immune system was tuned to the max. Comparatively speaking - I had a full on force field, an armed guard, turret guns, pill boxes, grenades, mustard gas and some other defences banned on several pages of the Geneva convention.

Now however, I mostly drive my own car- with my own germs and those of those I allow into my car. These I have a truce with - so my defences have lapsed a little. The little men in my body have gone for a pint - leaving only the simple minded ones to man the defences.

As such - when I ever I get on a bus, I feel like it may be my last journey ever.

You see, buses are not a nice or hygienic place to be. They tend to be plastic havens, full of people who don't cover their mouths when they cough, people who don't wash quite often enough and people who have no sense of personal space.

The one I got on today smelled a little bit of wee - which was nice, had curious stains on the window (inside) - which was nice and was generally just quite unpleasant.

Beyond this, my complaints with the bus continue. They are very expensive to use unless you use them very frequently. The timetables would make the average Mensa member scratch their heads (not that they stick to them anyway.) Mostly, the drivers communicate with you in monosyllables and the fellow bus riders hate you almost as much as you hate them!

Even the way buses looks is rubbish. The designs are so unimaginative - and the surroundings 

inside are not nice places to be. There's even one I've been in before with leather seats - I don't even want to think about the residue left on those.

Rant over.

Rant 85 - 25/3/12 Subject: The obsession with 3D movies

Rant number 85


As it was on TV, and because its not a bad action flick. Today I am watching Avatar.

The film is bright and colourful and sharply in focus. At least - today it is.

You see, last time round when I saw Avatar, it was on the big screen, of subdued colour and was really quite out of focus.

Why?

Because it was in 3D.

Am I the only one who has noticed its actually a little bit crappy? Its always darker due to the shuttering of the glasses and its rarely in focus. I just don't get the obsession with it.

Animated films work well in 3D I will grant, but nothing with live actors actually does.

It may be my eyesight (I am slightly short-sighted, with a stigmatism in both eyes) that makes it look a bit rubbish to me, but - surely eye conditions far worse than mine exist and are very common!

I just don't get it. The novelty never wore on for me - otherwise it would have worn well off by now!
Cinema is full of these fads, a way to get bums on seats - where true class directing, writing and acting is not present. I do not accept it, and neither should you!

The results of 3D in the cinema is that I have actually stopped going so often (alongside the ridiculous prices of course,) why pay so much money to see a film out of focus, in a room full of people chittering and rustling and taking up your arm rest.

If I may also point out: It just actually isn't very good. I was expecting to feel like the actors were in the room with me, but the truth is - its just like an exaggerated depth of field. The effect just isn't that great - and it ruins my enjoyment.

With any luck, they may get rid of this fad soon - but doubtless will come up with something else pointless. God knows what!

Rant over.

Rant 84 - 24/3/12 Subject: Shout town centre do-gooders

Rant number 84


Inadvertently - despite my best efforts to the contrary, almost every weekend I need to go into town for one reason or another. Today I needed to buy some trousers and pick up some post - nothing particularly exotic.

As I headed towards the post office however, the faint tones of a bull-horn could be heard: spitting rhetoric of great banality into the atmosphere and - to my ear canal.

Today, it was people talking about the 'slave labour' that is forced upon the 'poor' long term doll monkeys. Although this rant is not about this issue or those who contest it, I do feel that some important points must be stated:

Firstly: although I do not feel that anyone should have to work force nearly nout - those who have been long term unemployed are evidently lacking in experience - something that this scheme should be able to offer.
Secondly: decisions of this sort are made at head office level, not in individual stores (they were outside of Primark.)
Thirdly: No-one likes to listen to a pretentious, self important, trumped up, rhetoric reciting little wanker.

Despite the fact that, to a certain extent I do agree with some of the points he made - the way he was presenting them got right up my nose. I felt like going and crushing his logic with my own (a feat which I feel I am more than capable of.)

The thing is, someone like this is out every weekend, adding to the misery that is town on Saturday. Always with a clipboard, a bullhorn & a badly printed set of signs & posters (I actually wonder if there is some kind of 'pissing people off in town on Saturday' kit for hire?)

Its usually some protest group of some sort, students about fees, socialists against society, midgets about heightism possibly? I faze it out and find it just exasperating.

Why don't they take the protest somewhere where it matters. This government have proved completely that they don't read petitions, regardless of how many signatures you can irritate out of people.

So - just stop!

Rant over.

Rant 83 - 23/3/12 Subject: Taxes for our own good

Rant number 83


On the radio today, someone summed out how I feel about many of the taxes the government are continually pumping out.

For those not familiar with the latest - they've decided to take the pressure off their Budget follies (like trying to delve further into the purses of retirees and put it into their rich friends pockets for instance) by hitting out at drinkers.

They're going to up the prices of alcohol to at least 40p a litre - to prevent binge drinking culture. This will restrict strong lager to costing at least £1.20 a can. In other words: Just another kick in the balls for the little guy.

I get that binge drinking is a problem - putting pressure on the police force & on the NHS. Its not about the prices though! Its the way that our country deals with it.

Europe doesn't get nearly as much of an issue with binge drinking (except for when our young thugs visit of course,) and they give alcohol to the children! When you make it taboo to youngsters like we do - it just makes things so much worse!

I agree, that being able to buy 3 litres of cheap cider containing 15 units - for about £3 quid is stupid - but Being able to buy 10 bottles of beer for £9 quid for instance should not be a problem.

Another thing to bear in mind - is that most people who drink, do so to escape their every day miseries - miseries made all the worse by being taxed to death on anything they enjoy!

The thing that really gets my goat though, is that this is another tax for our own good - Fuckers.

If you are rich, you can drink, smoke, drive & eat as much as you want - to whatever excess you wish (I've not seen too many skinny guys in the house of lords for instance?) but we - the naive general public are too much of a danger to ourselves.

Bear in mind that - the bar in parliament doesn't charge pay tax on their alcohol and was recently the site of a brawl between several MP's. Who needs their alcohol charges putting up again?

To any of you who voted Torie, I really hope you are pleased. I personally would prefer to pull out my own toenails than vote for them - and feel good and screwed.

Bastards

Rant over.

Rant 82 - 22/3/12 Subject: iPlayer

Rant number 82


On BBC4 recently, they made an adaptation of Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency. This rant is not about this quite lighthearted adaptation - which I thoroughly enjoyed. (By the way, for those of you not familiar with this - it was written by Douglas Adams, of Hitchhiker's guide fame! Worth reading or watching at the very least.)

Being quite busy however, and not necessarily a slave to the TV listings, I have not been able to follow the show in realtime.

This was OK though, because I could watch it on iPlayer.

Except.. iPlayer has got rubbish!

Be it that TV itself is now so bad that less and less are watching anything realtime or be it that that the BBC are not spending enough money on bandwidth its impossible to
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watch anything without

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Almost constant interruptions.

Before anyone suggests it, its not my internet connection (which is actually pretty low contention (not BT - poo to BT broadband) & reasonably good speed,) which can play any number of movies on lovefilm - at good resolution, without a single noticeable halt or pause.

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Its evident then, that we are getting screwed somewhere along the line. If they are going to offer the service (using the money that we are forced to pay them for the TV license) then they should be doing it properly - offering something that can be viewed without problems.

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As stated - the premium film rental services (which at £6ish a month - or only £72 a year (far less than your TV license)) can do it - good quality and for long duration. So what's going on BBC?

Even something relatively short like Top gear stops every couple of minutes - its infuriating!

Beyond this too, the fact that they only keep content a week bugs me. Other channels offer far longer duration - and we only pay for that content by watching it. We have to pay for what the BBC offers us - but they seem hell bent on selling it too us - for an inflated price later.

The whole thing just gets on my wick. Looks like its finally time to invest in a PVR - so that I don't have to use this useless bloody service any more!

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Rant over.

Rant 81 - 21/3/12 Subject: The Budget

Rant number 81


To begin with, I would just like to say that I am a bad mood. (And yes, I know you could argue I am constantly in a bad mood to rant so much.. That being the case, I am in a very bad mood.)

You could argue several reasons for this.
I can confirm however, that it was not: The fact that I have been some kind of idiot magnet today - having to talk to them endlessly. (Although this really, really was annoying.
It was not: The drive home, with yet more idiots clogging up the road, getting in the way and generally being annoying. (Although this was completely infuriating!)
It was not the slightly muggy weather - making everything feel grotty and miserable. (Although this was sole destroying)

It was actually something I woke up with: the knowledge that it was Budget day.

Ever since I was old enough to work, to earn and to understand these things - Budget day has put me in a bad mood.

Its that very special time each year, where our chancellor (always a man with all the charisma of a plain yoghurt,) proves to us how irrelevant our opinions are.

Each and every year, they pretend to be helping us - throwing us a shiny bone to hold, whilst they pick our pockets.

For those of you who have not read/heard/seen anything about the budget (something I suggest you all do - its good to know how we are getting screwed) I can summarise it easily for you.

They are going to increase your tax free allowance - by about £1000 per year - increasing most of personal incomes by about £240 per year.
This sounds great doesn't it, until you realise is works out at a total of £4.60ish a week. And that most things you actually have to buy will be going up!

One thing we asked for - all of us, was a relief on fuel duty - it hurts us all - getting to work, getting about, in shops - everywhere.

Luckily the government were listening.

Unluckily though, they don't give a shit.

As planned, fuel - which already hurts us so bad, will be going up by yet another 3p per litre.

£4.60 a week suddenly doesn't seem so brilliant does it, when you realise that the above will absorb half of this. (Also, those of you on public transport - don't think you are exempt from this, they are bound to be passing on any increase to themselves, to you. Thats how it works)

Oh, and - as promised - you guys are taking the brunt for some tax relief on those poor struggling super high earners (yeah, the bastards who got us into the recession mess in the first place) whose tax will be dropping by 5p - that's an extra £7500 a year in their back pockets at a very minimum.

How's the £4.60 sound now?

Yeah

I feel like I need a drink (up 5.4%(40% since 2008!)) or If I smoked, I would definitely want a cigarette (up 5%)

I would quite like to fit that fucking chancellor in his stupid red suitcase. I am sure with some creative use of a wood chipper, this would be entirely possible. Anyone with me?

Just a thought...

Rant over.

Rant 80 - 20/3/12 Subject: The governments newest (stupid) policy

Rant number 80


'This Morning' (the show, not the part of the day. Although this morning was this morning, so kind of both..) was, as ever furtive ground for annoyance.

Not the show itself - which can at times, be genuinely lighthearted & giggle-some. No, its more the subjects they cover that make my blood boil.

Todays subject then: the Governments new policy to tell us how they spend our tax money.

In principle, this is admirable. Its good that (apparently) they want to keep us in the loop - no arguments there.
My issues with it however, are easy to define.

A) I really don't want to know what I am paying where. If for instance I find out that 50% of my wage is going to Welfare - this means that (those unable to work or the elderly aide) I am paying for far too many people not working.

B)The fact that, regardless of your findings (such as the above) you will not be able to do anything about it. As such, it can only cause distress and upset.

C)The fact that, nothing like this is ever free. As such - it is another pointless administrative cost we could easily do without. I really don't want to find out that the answer to A) is that 1% of my fucking tax bill has been sent on useless info like this.

D) The fact that the government never do anything just to be nice. These guys would prefer to crawl over a mile of broken glass, rusty nails, used needles & stickle bricks (ever stand on a stickle brick?(Lincoln logs to the Americans among you) they really bloody hurt) than do anything selfless.
There has got to be a catch in there somewhere - which will only be revealed at some later date.

It just all seems pointless to me. Why bother to give us each a printout - to tell us how we are getting fucked over. Its plenty enough to know that the money has gone, I don't need to know specifically why.

Also, for the curious among us, why not simply put up the information online. This would not cost anywhere near as much, as giving us each an individual breakdown.

Finally, I hate little 'concessions' like these. We - the great unwashed masses, are meant to be grateful that they are doing something for us - the little people. I'm not a fucking toddler. I get that tax is necessary, I know roughly where its going and - because I have absolutely no choice - I can't do anything but trust them to distribute it right.

I don't need them to convince me of this. I know they aren't distributing it right - but the truth (or their version of the truth) isn't going to make me any more pleased or upset regardless because - once again (reiterating point B,) I can't do fuck all about it.

I also feel like its a diversion. Something to hide what they are up to - while we are looking the other way. If I was you, I wouldn't be. Like magicians, politicians have always got something up their sleeves - and I don't mean fluffy bunnies, doves or brightly coloured handkerchiefs.

Rant over

Rant 79 - 19/3/12 Subject: Car insurance renewals

Rant number 79


My mother always told me that there are two things in life that are certain:
Death
and
Taxes

She is completely right about this except, she missed another never ending certainty:
Car insurance companies will always screw you over, given the chance.

And this applies, especially if you stay with the same company for more than a year.

I just don't get it! In every other circle and type of business, loyalty pays, but insurance companies only want you for a year before they think they can get away with taking you for a ride (no pun intended.)

My insurance company for instance e-mailed me today to inform me that my renewal is early next month.
That was nice of them wasn't it?

No

Because, they were e-mailing me to tell me about a fantastic deal for renewal and, to put it frankly - were trying to screw me over, good and proper.

My insurance last year hurt like hell!(my first year, and god do they ever take advantage of that!) and this forced me to take only a basic 3rd party fire and theft policy.

This year, I have checked the comparison sites and - luckily I can get my insurance far cheaper this time - so I can get fully comp - fab.

The thing is, the cost of this from one of the other companies comes out at less than renewing my 3rd party fire and theft policy with my current company.

Did they think I came down in the last shower? Fucking imbeciles.

Doubtless also, even as my no claims grows - the ratio of advantage to me will continue to plummet due to the fact that the insurance companies have the advantage of a monopoly.

What a set of bastards!

Rant over.

Rant 78 - 18/3/12 Subject: Printing costs

Rant number 78


Todays rant is one that has - just this minute popped into my head. Its a simple one, and something that has annoyed me since I had to begin buying things myself.

The costs of bloody printing!

Speaking from an admittedly not terribly informed perspective. I have a reason to believe that ink is not actually expensive stuff. I mean, if you go down to any pound shop - you can probably buy a pack of 20 (maybe more) biro's, which will cover a vast area (and will produce many doodles. I really like doodling, mainly penguins - but sometimes other stuff...)

Why then, does it cost so much to produce ink cartridges - or even get them refilled?

The cheapest start at around £8 (remember, for that you could buy yourself 160 biros (what a lot of doodles of penguins that could provide me with!)) and they carry on into frightening money.

Yes, I am sure there are reasons for it to be expensive, but surely there are also some truly preposterous profits that must be being made for these prices to exist.

There are some printers in fact that cost less than even one of the ink cartridges to run them. How bloody warped is that? It just doesn't make sense.

The whole thing really is a bloody rip-off.

Then there is the fact that you don't even get a full ink cartridge with a printer any more. It seems really rather bloody cheeky to me - particularly when they know that you will have to sell your first born child, just to afford to get a new cartridge.

I have in my house 2 printers (from mine & the wives university days) which we require infrequent usage of. The thing is, another scam of the printer companies is that they are not made to be used infrequently. As such, every time I want to use the bloody printer, I have to clean the heads on the cartridge, wasting yet more precious ink.

The whole thing is a scam! Surely in the modern world there is another option?

Rant over.

Rant 77 - 17/3/12 Subject: Tax breaks for the super-rich

Rant number 77


We are going to get screwed - good and proper!

I am not a conservative. I disagree with almost everything they stand for and - although I didn't do it in any way deliberately, I kind of voted for them...

You see, I voted for the Liberal Democrats (like many other people.) I'd had enough of Labour fucking it up, I hate the Tories - so my thinking was 'at least let someone else have a chance to screw us over.'

What happened though? The parliament got hung and the idiots within the Lib-Dem's showed their true colours (blue) and sided with the bastards.

Hasn't it worked out well for them!? fucking imbeciles.

The reason I hate the Tories is because of the equality they seem to stand for. Old Money, Public school, toffishness and insular policies are high on their list of fundamental principles.

Since they came into power then, they've been doing their very best to protect the old rich, bankers bonuses and increase taxes for the normal folk. Business as usual then.

Which brings me to my point. The proposal that the chancellor may be removing the 50p tax bracket.

To be on this tax bracket, you will need to be earning in excess of £150,000 - meaning that you will be taking home in your bank account £75,000 pounds a year. Just in case any of you were wondering, this is a lot more than I currently earn in 4 years.

Yeah, because those are the people who are struggling!

They're not favoring the rich by proposing this though. Not at all

In this same budget, they are talking about increasing the fuel duty by another 3 pence and, no doubt fucking us normal folk over in any way possible. Remember that this is also the same government who are pushing up the retirement age & robbing from the public sector pension pot. 

Its not fair, and its not acceptable.

Maybe its time that we all did something about it. Not the unions, not just the public centre - but all of us.

And properly. 

Let me make myself clear! - I'm not talking about childish rioting and thieving, like the scum-bags last summer - all that does is increase the class divide. 

No, what I'm talking about is a serious campaign of statements. 

How about all of us, the Internet generation inform them by sensibly written letter that we do not approve. There are a lot of us, we are generally sensible, articulate and have learnt that words have power in the right hands.

OUR HANDS.

Share this rant and ask people to read it if you agree with what I say. Maybe it really is time for action.

Rant over.

Rant 76 - 16/3/12 Subject: Malingering wedding tax

Rant number 76


My wife requested today's rant.
Well - she did and she didn't.
Part of it she did anyway!

The year before last, I got married to my lovely wife Jude (well, I didn't get married to my wife. That doesn't make sense. I got married to my fiance, then she was my wife.)

As you can guess or will already be aware, Weddings take a great deal of planning, thought - and stuff.

As such, weddings take a whole great boat load of money!

One of the reasons for this; is wedding tax.

Wedding tax applies to everything you buy that is, can be used for or can be any way associated with weddings. Everything costs more when weddings are involved and the costs can be endless.

The dress, the rings, the food, the drinks, the decorations and all the rest of it costs you a fortune.
Even the registrar costs a bloody fortune.

You would think that wedding tax would have ended when the wedding was done wouldn't you?

Me too

It isn't though!

Now nearly 18 months on, its still getting its claws in.

The reason for this is simple - because my wife took my name.

Taking someones name, costs...

How shit is that! Our landlord for instance want to charge us £60 for the privilege. £60! That's the cost of a good night out, a good bottle of whisky or many other things that actually have a physical value.

Why should it cost £60 to make a change in your computer system? Its ludicrous. The council, the bank, the passport people and many other folk don't feel the need to charge for it.

Fuck it, forget the £60 and I'll make the change in the computer system myself - I'm pretty sure it wouldn't take long.

I look forward to the end of bloody wedding tax!

Rant over.

Rant 75 - 15/3/12 Subject: Potholes potholes potholes

Rant number 75


Today on the way home at 50mph for about 15 miles, I did not see a single person - working or otherwise.

I mean - what's the point of coning off the whole fucking motorway if you are nowhere to be seen?

It got me thinking about where they go when they are no-where to be seen. I can only guess in some shed/portaloo; watching/reading porn and drinking copious cups of tea.

In truth though, this is a guess. There is no way for me to know what they are really doing.

Except


There is one thing I can quantifiably say that they are not doing.

And that is filling in any potholes!

Huddersfield where I live is like pothole central. From above the road looks like a acne ridden teenagers face! Between my house and the roundabout I cross on the way to work each day, you could literally count hundreds, if not thousands of the bloody thing.

Our roads are used and abused. Someone or other is always digging it up & filling it in (but never quite the same as before,) overweight lories chew up the surface and we generally just use them to death.

The solution is surely simple: fill them in.

To you or me, this seems pretty basic stuff - but to councils not so. There are cones to put out for endless roadworks on the fucking M62 for instance - there would be risk assessments, a 5 week closure of the road to repair one 25cm square pothole and endless other reasons to not do it.

So what do they do? Simple, they sweep it under the carpet.

By all accounts the pothole and road resurfacing schedule is 10 years behind.
I will repeat that... 10 years..


Was there no point between 1-9 years where they thought 'this is getting out of hand?'
You'd think they would! I fucking would.

Its a ballache, it really is. Its no good for your tires, no good for your suspension it makes your ride uncomfortable. Its crap that they make no effort to do anything about it.

And if I may go back to the huge petrol taxes we pay, you'd think that they could actually use some of it to fix the fucking roads we have to use!

Rant over.

Rant 74 - 14/3/12 Subject: Cheesy feel good movies

Rant 74 - 14/3/12 Subject: Cheesy feel good movies

Rant number 74

Today, while having a quick inner summary of todays collated information and annoyance, a trailer for a film came up. I like movies rather a lot (in fact, the trailer came up in the middle of a film I have just changed over to the middle of. The flawed but thoroughly watchable Fifth Element) and so tend to take at least a minor interest in any movie trailers.

Todays was for 'We bought a Zoo' a movie that it assures me is based upon a true story and - according to the trailers content promises endless people saying 'you shouldn't buy a zoo' and him saying 'I'm going to'

It also features the following line - that practically forced me to spontaneously vomit:

'You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.'

How god damned awful is that? No-one talks like that in in real life!

And this film is just one of endless of its genre. Films that are meant to make you feel all warm and fuzzy - but make me feel all queasy. Maybe its simply that I am in some way abnormal (a concept that I am quite willing to accept, and possibly welcome if I do not have to accept this kind of crap trap as entertainment) but I do not feel isolated in this.

Other examples would be 'Love Actually,' a film in which little happens to various people in an interwoven portmanteau picture of startling banality. Then there are movies like 'About a Boy' a film in which nothing much happens to only one set of people - brilliant.

I just don't get it. I like escapism - but if you want to escape in a movie - make it fun - ludicrous even.

Planes Trains and Automobiles for instance - is a movie that makes you feel good, but only while you are chortling most mirthfully. There are also no 'profound' statements in it to pull in the pretentious crowd.

I suppose that - these movies shouldn't annoy me really, the answer is to simply not watch them. The thing is, even the trailers put my nose out!

Stupid feel good pretentious crap.

Oh and pretty much anything with Juliet Roberts or Hugh Grant in (and particularly both)

Rant over.

Rant 73 - 13/3/12 Subject: Unfair extradition

Rant number 73


Today on the news, it was announced that another one of our citizens is being extradited to America. His crime? Trying to exploit a loop-hole.

He created the linking site - 'tvlinks' a couple of years back, which may of us (me included) have come across and doubtless used.

For those of you who didn't come across it, it was a collection of links to other sites - where content was held. The content was generally of the TV show/film variety - which is where all the hooha has hoo'd from.

So fair enough - he did - no arguments make it easy for people to access copyright content, but is that a crime? Linking is not copyrighted - so the answer officially is no.

So why the extradition? because the American's don't let things like loopholes get in the way of what they consider justice. Intellectual property is a big thing to them - and to any of us.

And from there point of view - he helped pirates - and I suppose perpetuated them and - to a certain extent spurned them on - its a mess.

What bothers me however, is that - its OK to send one of our guys into the jaws of the beast for a grey area crime, but a confirmed terrorist evil scumbag can't be sent back because of his human rights. What about this lad's human rights? You know the Americans will throw the book at him good and hard - and who's to prevent them?

Why don't we stand by our people a bit more. Yes he was naive and tried to take advantage of a loophole, a warning or a simple stop would surely have been more appropriate than an extradition witch-hunt.

Our government has no spine - another thing that sickens me!

Rant over.

Rant 72 - 12/3/12 Subject: The sad results of brainwashing

Rant number 72


Today, the news had more sad news from Afghanistan. This time, its us the 'good guys' who have dropped the ball, and its at times like this that we need to look at why.

A U.S soldier on tour, walked calmly out of the army base, walked a mile - fully equipped with night vision goggles and full arsenal, walked into an unlocked house - put the family together, and shot each one - adult and child, in the head.

This kind of thing helps no-one, the bloodshed will be redoubled and every soldier will become a marked man. So why do it? I am sure we will never really know.

We can only speculate.

Here then is my theory.

I'd like to think that no-one I know is capable of this kind of act, regardless of any conditions they may have found themselves under - so why can a soldier do it so calmly?

Because, to make a man fight an enemy - you need to brain wash him first.

Its no secret that the army have to do this because, the average persons reaction to seeing another through the gun sights would always be to put down the gun. It takes a certain instinct to force you to do that, to shoot another man - and its bound to have side effects.

And this is why I feel this man crossed a line. He may have been suffering mentally, he may have been drunk - but the instinct to hate and kill these people must have been there to start with.

You can't look at life the same way when its your job to end it, potentially day after day. You have to have the part of you that stops these thoughts from becoming reality turned off - and that's why these kind of things happen. Just look at the previous ways that soldiers have tortured and raped and abused prisoners and civilians time after time.

While we need war, we need soldiers and there is probably no choice but to continue things in this way, and while this continues - these kind of breaks probably are going to happen.

I wish it wouldn't though - because it makes us just as bad as the terrorists, and that makes me sick.

Rant over.

Rant 71 - 11/3/12 Subject: Dubstep

Rant number 71


Through advent of it being one of the only radio stations that consistently works on my somewhat temperamental car radio, I listen to a fair amount of BBC - radio 1.

During the times I mostly listen, this mainly consists of cheeky chappy Chris Moyles - and, in the afternoon Scott Mills. Both of which have a lighthearted team around them that creates a gigglesome banter - that makes it more bearable than engine noise (my radio also doesn't like to play CD's when its cold, so I have had to put up with months of this.)

The thing that is guaranteed to make me reach for the dial however, is Dubstep.
They talk about Dubstep endlessly, and pretend that - just like the endless ranks of brainless idiots who listen to it, they love it too. They in fact, talk about it more than they play it - and I really don't know whether that is worse or better.

Dubstep is just a dull recycling of the more drum&bass and heavier rave music that we had fed to us in the 90s - but slowed down, to make it seem 'fresh' and exiting'.

This however, is not its most defining characteristic. No that is very simple to define.

Dubstep, doesn't understand what 'too much' is.


For years, old people have said that young peoples music just sounds like noise - Dubstep, is just noise.

Its like someone has given a class full of children access to a sequencer and no guidance. The results would be awful, there would be no understanding of just what is too much sonic information in one bar of music - i.e. there would be a slowed down drum beat, fifteen synths, a bass riff, another drum loop and a vocal lick.

Sound familiar? You bet your ass it does!


I look forward to the impending death of this 'musical style' (if you can call it a style) and its replacement with (hopefully) something just slightly less irritating!

I also get a sneaky feeling that the radio DJ's will breath a sigh of relief that they don't have to pretend to like it any more!

Rant over.

Rant 70 - 10/3/12 Subject: Profiting from charity

Rant number 70


This evening, I watched an episode of Let's Dance for Sport Relief. It can occasionally be amusing, so I thought I'd give it a go. As it turned out, I only recognised three contestants from all of the five acts - so all in all, not a great line-up.

That isn't what my complaint is however. No, what bothers me - a great deal, is the shameless profiteering that goes on with this sort of thing.

If you call in using your landline, it will cost you 50p to do so. This doesn't mean that 50p will go to charity though.

No, of your 50p: 36.5p goes to the charity.

So where does the rest go? I get that maybe the phone line providers might need paying, but surely not 13.5p? Maybe it goes to the BBC? (which we pay for anyway!) to cover the cost of spandex or something?

That's a big proportion of your money that will go into someone or others back pocket. Why should anyone profit from charity! Well, other than those it is directed towards of course! Otherwise it would be a bit pointless.

Things like this are rife. Whenever a phone number is involved, you can bet some skimming is going on. However many times have you been informed that donating will cost you X amount plus your network rate, could they not offer a discounted or free rate for charitable donations? Of course they could, but they aren't gunna!

You see, Charity is big money for big business. After all, you don't get to be big business without being a little unscrupulous.

Read the small print on everything you give. Don't be fooled by the easy option of dropping a text or picking up the phone - or the bastards will skim your donation every time.

I stopped buying the red nose for instance, when I discovered that about 60p of your £2 disappears. I get that the physical components have a cash value, but 60p? Pish! tuppence would be more like it. I understand also that there would be some costs of manufacturer - but in truth, 10p would be more like it.

Far too many people benefit from you trying to be generous.

Don't let them get away with it. There is always a different way, and its always worth finding it - not because I said so, not because big business deserves it taking off them (although they do!) but merely because - if 13.5p is ripped off - say a hundred thousand people, that makes a hundred and thirty five thousand pounds that's going to the wrong place.

Imagine the lives that could be changed (or saved) with that!

Rant over.

Rant 69 - 09/3/12 Subject: Reusing irritating advertisements

Rant number 69


Advertising is an under-riding to some of my more recent rants. The reason for this, is simple: Adverts are annoying.

They rarely work on me in the way they should (They might make me want a coffee for instance - but I won't buy theirs on principal.) And they are just everywhere these days. On TV, DVD's, at the Cinema, on billboards, on busses, in the papers and no doubt in fewer years than any of us would wish - they will be projected onto our eyes by tiny robots the size of a virus.

Imagine that if you can, tiny robots beaming shite into your eyes while you are working, eating or - I dunno, licking a parrot. Terrible in any situation!

Anyway, onwards with the topic proper.

Advertising (as I have pretty well established,) is just awful, and there is only one thing more annoying than a new advertisement.

Do you know what that is boys and girls?

Yep, the same old fucking adverts year after bastard year.

If it didn't work then, its not going to work now. Give me the respect of at least trying to come up with new ways to try and convince me out of my hard earned dosh.

I understand that adds are expensive, but so is TV time - so its not worth skimping is it? Why not try something new. Many adds that work well are - in fact not terribly expensive (look at all those bastard go compare adverts (which must cost all of about £20(most of which goes on the catering for the stupid fat fuck who keeps singing)) and how big a household name they have become now!)

Stop phoning it in and showing me the same tired old shit. Try harder - other people are getting it right, but you aren't!

Rant over

Rant 68 - 08/3/12 Subject: An endless and unfair war

Rant number 68


Today, another tragedy of war has been all over the news. Six more of our brave boys have paid the ultimate sacrifice in order to make others lives easier.

I hate war, but can't help but respect and honor anyone who risks their own lives every day in order that others lives may be saved, my anger is not for these boys (5 of the 6 who have died hadn't even made it to 21!) but for the idiots who still put their lives at risk.

That we are in Afghanistan at all is a mystery to me after all this time. The war has been a bloody mess, with multiple casualties from the very beginning, and we cannot win a war where the people we are trying to help are also sympathising with those who want to murder us.

I hate it so much. We waltzed in - belt and braces, to back up the Americans. To save them from themselves and to solve it all - but 10 years later, our soldiers are still being killed - and it is a waste.

Why can't we just pull out now? Say enough is enough - sort yourselves out now. They don't want us to be there, its costing our struggling country a fortune and, by advent of the fact that these things are still happening 11 years hence - just isn't working.

In the war rooms and the government offices, those of privilege, thousands of miles from any real danger - look at the facts and figures and decide that its still worth while. We are winning territory and - supposedly putting in place a worthy government with 'minimal casualties.'

Because thats the kind of language you get from these cotton wool wrapped bastards.

They forget that any one of their 'minimal casualties' is someone's son, daughter, mum, dad, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, cousin or friend.

Taking todays figures into account, UK deaths in his un-winnable war have hit 404. All blood spilt in the name of an unreachable ideal.

Yes, we may have taken some scalps in the name of this. Yes we may have won some small battles - but the war is not one you can win. According to figures online, the total casualties for the coalition come to a genuinely startling 2765 (as of December last year.) That's like a whole town being wiped off the map.

What a sad waste.

And that's just the guys on our side - not to mention the civilians.

If anyone in power comes across this rant. I have a message for you - stark and clear.

Get them out

Rant over.

Rant 67 - 07/3/12 Subject: Intrusive internet advertising

Rant number 67


I have already covered pop-ups previously. They are annoying and stupid. There is however, a cure for these (albeit not full-proof) in the form of a pop-up blocker.

This seems like a good thing doesn't it?

It isn't though.

Because it has escalated the arms race of advertiser and advertisee (you, the end user.)

Pop-ups are old news, so now they have found other ways to ruin your enjoyment.

Been on youtube recently?
Yeah, me too.
Now you can't watch that video of the cat beating a printer (if you haven't, go watch it now - annoying adverts be damned) without them trying to sell you McDonalds, a digital camera or a myriad variety of crap you don't want.

I just don't get it. Why bother? People must pay a fortune for the privilege of camping their shit on the back of a youtube video. What do they really hope to gain?

I am trying to watch a cat having an argument with a printer, I don't want McDonalds, I don't want a digital camera. I just want to see the funny cat beating the printer and swearing.

Then there is the other kind of adds they now splash around. Thanks to the evil manipulations of otherwise benign technologies such as flash, silverlight & java - there are now adds fucking everywhere.

Now, I can put up with static adds that sit there, unloved and uncalled for. These I can ignore (and I do.)

The thing is, the new generation don't. They have video that takes up valuable memory & processing power - slowing down your computer and ruining your enjoyment of the focus of the webpage. They pop up within the window (yeah, your pop-up blocker can't do anything about that) trying to sell you whatever shite they are doing so.

I don't want their rubbish - I just want to be left alone! Just because an advert is on a page, it doesn't mean I feel inclined to click on it. Making it more annoying - really really doesn't make me want to click it. It - in fact, puts me right off.

In fact- I just wish they would fuck off!

I hope that someone comes up with a way to get rid of this rubbish and that all of the idiots who make these adds get painful and moderately explosive diarrhea...

Rant over.

Rant 66 - 06/3/12 Subject: Wasps

Rant number 66


Today on the way home from work, the subject of useless to human animals and insects came up. There are just hundreds of them - there really are, and today I have chosen these for my subject of annoyance.

Paramount among these then: the wasp.
Firstly, it is a doppelganger of the Bee, a noble honey producing creature, prone to violence only when threatened and in defense of its peers and Queen. For this - it must give up its poor little bee life.

Then there are its other traits: Yellow & black suited, it hangs around you at all the most inconvenient moments, flapping around you in order to create annoyance and instill fear (not to mention trying to get its greedy mitts on whatever sweet treats you are trying to enjoy). It is a perpetual thug, stinging at its leisure as many times as its angry little heart wishes - what a wanker.

They don't seem to do it for defense of their friends/colleagues/relations. I swear they do it for fun - they really do.
There nests are useless to us - made from paper (regurgitated from tree sap,) other than possibly as an inspiration to pretentious contemporary artists or architects.

Yes, to gardeners they are useful. They eat aphids and other small plant eating creatures - acting as a rudimentary pesticide that flies around doing its own thing. As a non gardener however - this is of little interest and, in these modern times - there are plenty of ways to kill bugs that don't fucking sting me!

I have been stung by a wasp and it hurt, and for that reason alone, I would happily commit all wasps to a parallel dimension - in which all creatures had a skin too thick to allow the entry of their stingers.

That will show the fuckers!

I hate bloody wasps. I wish they would go away and - as the warmer weather beckons, I feel that there annoying buzzing presence will soon be here again.

Bastards

Rant over.

Rant 65 - 05/3/12 Subject: eBay

Rant number 65


There is a scourge among us boys and girls. It's big - in fact: huge, its multifaceted and its full of crap.
I refer of course, to eBay.

Like many of you, I find it hard to remember a time before it was possible to buy from the worldwide jumble sale - which eBay is - but I do like to.

At its very best, eBay is a great way of getting things second hand at a great price.
At its worst, it is a wonderland of delusional bollocks.

You see, people in general do not occupy the place that I like to call 'reality.' As such, they are sure that things they should buy should cost nothing, and the things they sell should be worth their weight in gold.

But it just doesn't work like that.

eBay is also so incredibly flooded with shite - that it takes almost endless sortation - just to get close to the things you actually want. Put ipod in for instance, and you will see just about every possible accessory you can think of - for pence from china, before you ever get anywhere near the actual products. When you then get there, it will probably not actually be any cheaper than buying it - without the hassle.

The reason for this is generally beyond me. I just don't get it. People will pay more for an item they have bid on - than if they had used a buy it now listing - which involves less effort and takes less time.

Then there are the snipers of course. People wait until seconds before the listing ends before putting in their bid in order to obscure the correct amounts they wish to bid. There is even specialist software made to do this these days.

Finally, there is the expectation that anything listed on eBay is of value - when generally it isn't. Spend 20 minutes on eBay and you will find some right old shit that some fool will pay for.

The whole thing is an addictive mess!

Rant over.

Rant 64 - 04/3/12 Subject: Retail seasoning

Rant number 64


To begin with, I should probably make it clear that retail seasoning is not actually some kind of tinned or jarred flavor enhancing powder. I'm talking about seasons (as in bits of the year) not seasoning!

So, what the hell am I talking about?

The seasons that retailers work to - in order to sell, sell, sell & sell - and ipso facto, the spreading of various world events to epic proportions.

From early February for instance, there has been advertisements for Easter. Easter eggs, chocolate, the whole shebang! Bear in mind, that Easter does not occur until April this year - this thrusting it upon us is just ludicrous. And once Easter is done, there will be a sale no doubt.

Then, to follow there will be summer season - barbecues, shorts, swimming costumes - the works (even though summer will still be some way off.)

There will then be an autumn sale, just in time for the head of summer - because you just can't have enough autumnal stuff when you are basking in the summer sun - you know.

Then, it will be time - by the time Autumn has taking off its coat, hung it up and is sitting down with a well earned glass of ale to sell fireworks and scary masks (bonfire night and halloween respectively.)

And then, it will be endlessly Christmas from November onwards, until the January sales - when it will all begin again.

Its just bloody annoying that there is always this forced expectation that something will be gone before you have time to buy it. Its just not true - there will be just as many easter eggs before easter as weeks before. Only idiots feel the need to buy them months before!

Don't buy things too far in advance - allow the rubbish to sit on the fucking retailers shelves - that'll show em!

Rant over.

Rant 63 - 03/3/12 Subject: People who are rude for no reason

Rant number 63


Those of you out there that know me well, can doubtless call me a lot of things. I can be loud, ostentatious, occasionally saucy, obtuse & myriad other things.

What I am not however is rude, simply because I was brought up properly and because I think that it is one of the least desirable human traits imaginable.

The rudeness of the general populous we are surrounded by is, in fact - one of the reasons I don't like to be out in public too often.

Rudeness is such a big thing and such a big problem, and it is genuinely exasperating. Its everywhere I go!

People on the roads behave like rude animalistic idiots, pushing in to gaps they have no right to be in, tailgating, using inappropriate hand signals (generally in response admittedly to another idiots bad behavior) and so many other little things.

People out and about use bad language in ear shot of children, smoke in your face, knock into you because they are not looking where they are going and generally behave like pillocks.

People on the phone talk to you with no respect, swearing, cajoling & insulting with no regard or empathy.

I just bloody hate it, when did it get OK to be rude?

Today for instance, I got on a bus from town. The bus was pretty full so I stood to the side - leaving the seats for those more in need. An elderly lady then got on - followed closely by two small boys.

The lady then let forth with a muttered (but not so muttered that it was not audible) tirade about pretty much everyone. The boys - who were doing nothing wrong were told 'behave, I'm only getting off at the next stop,' she then complained about how it was mayhem on account of it being a Saturday, followed by saying that us standing up shouldn't be allowed and that we should be forced to sit down.

I felt like telling her to behave herself - but I would have considered that to be rather rude.

Lovely old bird huh? I love(d) my grandparents (who regrettably now have all but one passed away,) and have a great respect for elderly persons. They however, all continued to be normal people - and never turned into rude old battle-axes. Age just isn't an excuse.

If I had my way, there would be a spot fine for rude behavior, empathy and respect are being lost in this modern world!

Rant over

Rant 62 - 02/3/12 Subject: Other peoples mail

Rant number 62


Mr Rafferty, this one is for you!

_________________________

In the modern world, most of us do not live in brand new houses - which means, quite simply that our addresses are not brand new either. Ipso facto your address has been used in the past - to accumulate a variety of someone else's flotsam and jetsam of mail.

And now they've gone, they have left it behind for you to enjoy.

Bastards!

Junk mail is an unavoidable part of the modern world. We've all got it one way or another. Sometimes its just addressed to 'the occupier'(who I would like to imagine is some kind of house midget who keeps stealing all of my socks,) which is just lazy and really annoying.

Sometimes its address to you - which is equally annoying (you'll have written your address in the wrong place - or not ticked the right place or just been caught out) and completely hateful. At least its for you though.

The worst of all however, comes addressed to someone you've never heard of (except on previous irritating pieces of junk mail)  and will never meet. Its shit is what it is.

That they have probably moved with the explicit purpose of escaping their awful junk filled lives is no doubt lost on the bastards who just keep sending it in the vain hope that they may take them up on the offer of a shiny new credit card or hot tub.

Why can't they just stop sending it after a couple of months of realising that no-one is there. Half the time even putting 'not at address' and putting it back in the mailbox does nothing whatsoever to improve matters.

I really do hope that there is a particularly unpleasant corner of hell reserved for junk mail idiots.

I would also like to think that their punishment involved a large pile of junk mail, an industrial sized shredder, a junk mailers bottom and a forcing motion...

Rant over.

Rant 61 - 01/3/12 Subject: The unpractically of modern humans

Rant number 61


Today at work, I had an epiphany - and a worrying one at that.

This is not an every day occurrence for me (lets face it, most epiphany's happen to philosophers and the like,) but I really did.

It's a simple one really - and yet quite worrying.

The human race is doomed!


The reason for this? simple. Every generation gets a little bit less practical and able to look after themselves without modern conveniences. If this continues exponentially then, by the year 3000 only about 4 people will be born in any given generation who can say - use a can opener.

Its frightening, and ridiculous.

Look at cavemen for instance: The environment they lived in was harsh, dangerous, disease ridden and all round bloody difficult, but they made it.
And how? Practicality.
They made tools from what meagre knowledge and experience they had mustered. Flint axes to cut wood, flint against pyrite to create fire, tools to work stone - stone to make more tools. They foraged, they ate what they knew to be safe, they created shelter.

Put a modern British person in this environment and we would not have this memory and experience - because we have forgotten it all in the cotton wool of convenience we are wrapped in.
Frankly - put most people now in that situation and we would be sabre toothed tiger food.

It doesn't stop there either. In the past furniture was made by hand by the poor using scraps or by artisans with love and craftsmanship. Now, furniture comes in convenient cardboard packaging - with clear (text free, oh god I hate it when they can't be bothered to write text) instructions. Often even the artisans now use power tools now!

Going back to my original point, for your interest: the reason for my realisation was part of the assembly of one of the products we sell.

Without going into specifics, it involved a clamp and a pin to hold it in place - what I would consider to be a toddler level common-sense based part of the construction.

The person I was speaking to however was perplexed by it to the point where they had failed to be able to work it out. I just don't understand how someone can't be able to think their way through a simple constructive task. Did they never get access to Meccano as a child?

There seems to be a practical side missing to things now - and a class divide ever growing between those who can - and those who think.
I can do both, and I just don't get why everyone doesn't want to.

It annoys me so much!

Rant over.