Rant number 182
The banks have been and done in again. This time it's mis-selling insurance and pushing the interest rates about for their own ends.
The opposition leader has stated that the system is fundamentally corrupt- which it is. But so is the government and so is labour.
None the less, he is now demanding that a full enquiry is made into the banking sector.
In principal this is great. I would lo e for our banks to be less corrupt and for people to receive justice.
Like it or not though, the financial landscape does not change, however much you want it to - and an enquiry isn't going to fix it.
Like the Leveson enquiry though, I can only see it dragging on for years and costing the tax payer a fortune.
And really, does ascertaining that they are doing wrong fix the problem?
No
And while we are on the subject of enquiries. I'd be much more interested on an impartially run enquiry into government corruption, nepotism and general self serving.
I can't see any of the bastards looking into that though!
Rant over.
Saturday, 30 June 2012
Friday, 29 June 2012
Rant 181 28/6/12 Subject: Mis-located items
Rant number 181
Cornwall, as any tourist location, has plenty of tacky gift items for sale. Clotted cream, rock, fudge and shortbread.
Wherever you go, you can buy items that have the destination printed on the box - suggesting that the item was locally produced.
I'd bet you a fair sum that it wasn't though. Read the small print of these items and you will probably find that the fudge was made in the midlands somewhere, and is identical to the stuff for sale in Blackpool, the shortbread you can buy is almost certainly the same that is available in edinburgh and the rock is probably made in the czech republic.
Nothing is truly localised any more. Your beer, though it says it's Belgiun, was probably brewed in the uk too. Your food comes from anywhere but our shores most of the time.
Bring back a little localisation people! That way you bring back competition and jobs. That could make everything better.
Rant over.
Cornwall, as any tourist location, has plenty of tacky gift items for sale. Clotted cream, rock, fudge and shortbread.
Wherever you go, you can buy items that have the destination printed on the box - suggesting that the item was locally produced.
I'd bet you a fair sum that it wasn't though. Read the small print of these items and you will probably find that the fudge was made in the midlands somewhere, and is identical to the stuff for sale in Blackpool, the shortbread you can buy is almost certainly the same that is available in edinburgh and the rock is probably made in the czech republic.
Nothing is truly localised any more. Your beer, though it says it's Belgiun, was probably brewed in the uk too. Your food comes from anywhere but our shores most of the time.
Bring back a little localisation people! That way you bring back competition and jobs. That could make everything better.
Rant over.
Thursday, 28 June 2012
Rant 180 28/6/12 Subject: Slow vehicles, little roads
Rant number 180
Back in the north, there will always be slow vehicles; lorries, rubbish lories, wagons etc etc.
Back home however, there is always a handy side road to shoot up. In Cornwall however, it's not so simple.
The roads you see are all very narrow and winding and have no alternatives.
Thus, you are stuck behind the bloody things until such time as they wish to turn off of the road, or visa versa.
There really isn't much way to avoid it, we can't make heavy goods vehicles any smaller, and many of these roads aren't going to be made any bigger and time soon.
In front of us now is a lorry, an ice cream truck and a cement mixer. There is no way of overtaking all of that! That's for sure.
What a pain in the ass.
Rant over.
Back in the north, there will always be slow vehicles; lorries, rubbish lories, wagons etc etc.
Back home however, there is always a handy side road to shoot up. In Cornwall however, it's not so simple.
The roads you see are all very narrow and winding and have no alternatives.
Thus, you are stuck behind the bloody things until such time as they wish to turn off of the road, or visa versa.
There really isn't much way to avoid it, we can't make heavy goods vehicles any smaller, and many of these roads aren't going to be made any bigger and time soon.
In front of us now is a lorry, an ice cream truck and a cement mixer. There is no way of overtaking all of that! That's for sure.
What a pain in the ass.
Rant over.
Wednesday, 27 June 2012
Rant 179 27/6/12 Subject: Idiots who can't read signs
Rant number 179
We are surrounded - nay, bombarded each day by signs of all types. Signs on the road that dictate speed, signs that are needed and signs that aren't (see a previous rant on that subject)
Now I understand that to some (I.e the stupid) the sure volume of signs presents some confusion.
I wish however that they would read the signs put there for their benefit and for the benefit of others.
One such sign I am referring to today. The sign which says 'no flash photography' was located in an aquarium full of photosensitive fish.
Now, I think that's pretty clear to understand, but it didn't stop four or five idiot chavs snapping away with their flashes on.
How selfish have you got to be, that you will take a photo of something and cause it discomfort. Bloody arseholes.
Another example would be the 'don't feed the seagulls' sign.
Seagulls can be a pleasant enough diversion, but can really be a pest too. That's why people suggest they are not fed.
Does this stop the idiots doing it? Of course it bloody doesn't.
When I am king, people who don't follow signs in this way will have the offending sign tattooed on their forehead as an example to other ignorant pricks.
Vote king Trum if you like that idea...
Rant over.
We are surrounded - nay, bombarded each day by signs of all types. Signs on the road that dictate speed, signs that are needed and signs that aren't (see a previous rant on that subject)
Now I understand that to some (I.e the stupid) the sure volume of signs presents some confusion.
I wish however that they would read the signs put there for their benefit and for the benefit of others.
One such sign I am referring to today. The sign which says 'no flash photography' was located in an aquarium full of photosensitive fish.
Now, I think that's pretty clear to understand, but it didn't stop four or five idiot chavs snapping away with their flashes on.
How selfish have you got to be, that you will take a photo of something and cause it discomfort. Bloody arseholes.
Another example would be the 'don't feed the seagulls' sign.
Seagulls can be a pleasant enough diversion, but can really be a pest too. That's why people suggest they are not fed.
Does this stop the idiots doing it? Of course it bloody doesn't.
When I am king, people who don't follow signs in this way will have the offending sign tattooed on their forehead as an example to other ignorant pricks.
Vote king Trum if you like that idea...
Rant over.
Tuesday, 26 June 2012
Rant 178 26/6/12 Subject: Overpriced attractions
Rant number 177
One thing that Cornwall (as with any tourist spot) has in droves, is overpriced attractions. Now don't get me wrong, some of them are free- which is always a bonus and some of them are infinitely good value.
Many though take the piss.
In my opinion, attractions should be charged, based upon how long it will take to enjoy them. E.g £5 for something that will last an hour, £15 for all day £2 for less.
That would make the charging more fair wouldn't it?
Instead though, some attractions charge four or five pounds, for maybe twenty minutes of entertainment. It seems bloody steep and really does take the mickey.
Money grabbing sods.
Rant over.
One thing that Cornwall (as with any tourist spot) has in droves, is overpriced attractions. Now don't get me wrong, some of them are free- which is always a bonus and some of them are infinitely good value.
Many though take the piss.
In my opinion, attractions should be charged, based upon how long it will take to enjoy them. E.g £5 for something that will last an hour, £15 for all day £2 for less.
That would make the charging more fair wouldn't it?
Instead though, some attractions charge four or five pounds, for maybe twenty minutes of entertainment. It seems bloody steep and really does take the mickey.
Money grabbing sods.
Rant over.
Monday, 25 June 2012
Rant 177 25/6/12 Subject: Cameran and Carr
Rant number 177
There has been much talk recently about Jimmy Carr. Now for anyone with their head under a rock for the last few days, Jimmy was caught out, dodging tax.
But in a totally legal manner.
Now don't get me wrong, I think it's unfair, a little bit corrupt - but fuck it:
Who honestly wouldn't do the same in his shoes?
I don't think that it's fair that high earners get to dodge tax, but think that David Cameron is a disgusting hypocrite.
A great deal of upper class bastards get away with paying tax by using various loopholes - including Cameron's father for instance.
It just seems that Cameron has decided to put the boot into Jimmy Carr as a scapegoat, because he is not one of Cameron's bloody cronies.
Put simply: it's ok to dodge tax of you are posh, but not ok if you aren't.
If they are unhappy with tax dodging, close up the loopholes - including the ones the posh bastards use.
It make me sick that everyone is ready to chastise one man for cheating us, when the man who is pointing the finger is so much worse!
David Cameron, you are a disgusting hypocrite, and I hope that you are found out for the scum you are any day now.
Rant over.
There has been much talk recently about Jimmy Carr. Now for anyone with their head under a rock for the last few days, Jimmy was caught out, dodging tax.
But in a totally legal manner.
Now don't get me wrong, I think it's unfair, a little bit corrupt - but fuck it:
Who honestly wouldn't do the same in his shoes?
I don't think that it's fair that high earners get to dodge tax, but think that David Cameron is a disgusting hypocrite.
A great deal of upper class bastards get away with paying tax by using various loopholes - including Cameron's father for instance.
It just seems that Cameron has decided to put the boot into Jimmy Carr as a scapegoat, because he is not one of Cameron's bloody cronies.
Put simply: it's ok to dodge tax of you are posh, but not ok if you aren't.
If they are unhappy with tax dodging, close up the loopholes - including the ones the posh bastards use.
It make me sick that everyone is ready to chastise one man for cheating us, when the man who is pointing the finger is so much worse!
David Cameron, you are a disgusting hypocrite, and I hope that you are found out for the scum you are any day now.
Rant over.
Sunday, 24 June 2012
Rant 176 24/6/12 Subject: Illogical sat navs
Rant number 176
Day two of Cornish adventures. We are currently heading along on our way to Looe for some Sunday lunch.
Not being familiar with the geography of the area, we are following my step fathers Sat-Nav, which is valiantly trying to get us there in the best way possible.
The issue is though, that Sat-Navs are run using logic and algorithms, not common sense - and there-in there are flaws.
Now, many of Cornwalls roads are tiny, 1 lane jobs which most people avoid.
A Sat-Nav doesn't see it like that though, it's looking for the quickest route based on maximum speed limits on the road and general distance.
That you could never do 60 on these roads and that they are not a pleasure to drive is not in the algorithm. It really is a bit of a pain!
Rant over.
Day two of Cornish adventures. We are currently heading along on our way to Looe for some Sunday lunch.
Not being familiar with the geography of the area, we are following my step fathers Sat-Nav, which is valiantly trying to get us there in the best way possible.
The issue is though, that Sat-Navs are run using logic and algorithms, not common sense - and there-in there are flaws.
Now, many of Cornwalls roads are tiny, 1 lane jobs which most people avoid.
A Sat-Nav doesn't see it like that though, it's looking for the quickest route based on maximum speed limits on the road and general distance.
That you could never do 60 on these roads and that they are not a pleasure to drive is not in the algorithm. It really is a bit of a pain!
Rant over.
Saturday, 23 June 2012
Rant 175 23/6/12 Subject: Places left behind
Rant number 175
Today, we have finally got to our holiday destination, near Brown Willy (behave yourself! Its a place) in Cornwall.
Now, this place would need to be upgraded a good couple of places to be considered the back end of beyond, so it's pretty remote!
I personally really quite like that except. It does present a rant related issue!
You see, there is no signal, no wifi - no dial up even, and so being able to upload these rants will become a bit more difficult than usual.
I shall just have to plan around the places I shall be, rant in advance then upload when I can. I am just surprised that in our modern knowledge based age places are so left behind.
I'm not wanting a town based life on holiday at all, but being able to phone someone seems a minimum mod con to me.
None the less happy Holiday day 1
Rant over.
Today, we have finally got to our holiday destination, near Brown Willy (behave yourself! Its a place) in Cornwall.
Now, this place would need to be upgraded a good couple of places to be considered the back end of beyond, so it's pretty remote!
I personally really quite like that except. It does present a rant related issue!
You see, there is no signal, no wifi - no dial up even, and so being able to upload these rants will become a bit more difficult than usual.
I shall just have to plan around the places I shall be, rant in advance then upload when I can. I am just surprised that in our modern knowledge based age places are so left behind.
I'm not wanting a town based life on holiday at all, but being able to phone someone seems a minimum mod con to me.
None the less happy Holiday day 1
Rant over.
Friday, 22 June 2012
Rant 174 22/6/12 Subject: Long drives
Rant number 175
Today was holiday day number one.
This was cause for a yay: holiday
But also a nay: driving the distance between home and my parent
And what a journey that is.
The distance itself - roughly 259 miles - isn't too bad. But the way is blocked by traffic black spots between the m60 and the m62, the m6 at Birmingham and the mess around Bristol.
Not to mention the weather, horrifically rainy and windy, slowing speeds and ruining visibility in the process.
This turned a trip that should take around 4 hour and a half into a 6 hour epic.
In general, sitting in a cramped space, concentrating on everything going on is really draining. The whole thing really isn't much fun.
As always also, the way is marred by idiots who want to do all the wrong things. We should really test iq points before giving out licenses!
What a pain.
Rant over.
Today was holiday day number one.
This was cause for a yay: holiday
But also a nay: driving the distance between home and my parent
And what a journey that is.
The distance itself - roughly 259 miles - isn't too bad. But the way is blocked by traffic black spots between the m60 and the m62, the m6 at Birmingham and the mess around Bristol.
Not to mention the weather, horrifically rainy and windy, slowing speeds and ruining visibility in the process.
This turned a trip that should take around 4 hour and a half into a 6 hour epic.
In general, sitting in a cramped space, concentrating on everything going on is really draining. The whole thing really isn't much fun.
As always also, the way is marred by idiots who want to do all the wrong things. We should really test iq points before giving out licenses!
What a pain.
Rant over.
Thursday, 21 June 2012
Rant 173 21/6/12 Subject: Packing
Rant number 174
Tomorrow its finally time for my long awaited holiday. Uber yays all round!
So now its time to pack, which is where the downside comes. Packing is one of lifes very great evils in my opinion.
First, you need to work out the correct amount of clothes for the trip. This is one of those exponentially complicated things. It's not as simple as: 7 days, 7 T-shirts, 7 pairs of socks, 7 pants. You need to cover different eventualities. What if it rains a lot and you need to change during a day? What if its cold and you need to layer. Its a minefield!
Then there are the sundries you need to take. More eventualities, more bases to cover.
Will you need to take suncream? An umbrella? Mosquito repellant?
What will you forget that's important? Your phone charger? Your phone charger?
It's a bloody nightmare!
If you manage then, to get all your items together. What's wrong then?
You've got to fit the round peg in the square hole - which is to say: fit an impossible amount of clothing in an impossibly small suitcase. Often it invokes sitting on the bastard, forcing the zip in place - as the seams bulge and strain.
I hate bloody packing.
None the less, its time to go and finish it. Bloody norah.
Rant over.
Wednesday, 20 June 2012
Rant 172 20/6/12 Subject: Things that don't live up to the hype
Rant number 172
Todays rant is going to be the best so far you know.
Like the best ever.
Its coming soon now.
I bet you are excited aren't you.
You bloody well should be.
What a top rant this is.
Cor
Anyway...
I have been looking forward to seeing Prometheus for quite a while. I'm a massive Ridley Scott fan in general, and I have generally been happy with the Alien franchise (bear in mind, I mean explicitly Alien, Aliens & Alien 3. The other films belong to the Resurrection & Vs franchises, and are a bit shit.)
Now, I am not by any means the only one who has been excited about this film. No, the movie has been hyped to fever pitch - and just about everyone was excited.
Now, I'm not here to write a film review, or ruin anyones enjoyment of a movie.
I can quantifiably say however, the Prometheus far from lives up to its hype. It's plot is garbled, its concept confusing and flawed, its actors given a bad script to fight against and its pacing a little slow.
The thing is though, that I shouldn't be surprised.
Now don't get me wrong about the movie at all. It's OK, and reasonably watchable. Its just not what you would expect from one of the godfathers of sci-fi and a film that has been hyped to fever pitch.
More often than not, a film, a game, a foodstuff or anything else that has been hyped up, cannot really live up to the idea that forms in your brain.
Let's put it in context. If I make you a coffee in my kitchen, using my lovely coffee machine and give it to you saying 'it makes really nice coffee,' the likelihood is you will agree with me.
If I make you a coffee in my kitchen, using my lovely coffee machine however, and I tell you that its the best cup of coffee that has ever been made, you are going to expect something spectacular, and what you will probably get is disappointed. It is after all, only a home coffee machine and normal coffee.
Did my rant live up the hype then? I'll let you be the judge. Luckily, tomorrows rant will quantifiably be the best ever.. probably.
Rant over.
Todays rant is going to be the best so far you know.
Like the best ever.
Its coming soon now.
I bet you are excited aren't you.
You bloody well should be.
What a top rant this is.
Cor
Anyway...
I have been looking forward to seeing Prometheus for quite a while. I'm a massive Ridley Scott fan in general, and I have generally been happy with the Alien franchise (bear in mind, I mean explicitly Alien, Aliens & Alien 3. The other films belong to the Resurrection & Vs franchises, and are a bit shit.)
Now, I am not by any means the only one who has been excited about this film. No, the movie has been hyped to fever pitch - and just about everyone was excited.
Now, I'm not here to write a film review, or ruin anyones enjoyment of a movie.
I can quantifiably say however, the Prometheus far from lives up to its hype. It's plot is garbled, its concept confusing and flawed, its actors given a bad script to fight against and its pacing a little slow.
The thing is though, that I shouldn't be surprised.
Now don't get me wrong about the movie at all. It's OK, and reasonably watchable. Its just not what you would expect from one of the godfathers of sci-fi and a film that has been hyped to fever pitch.
More often than not, a film, a game, a foodstuff or anything else that has been hyped up, cannot really live up to the idea that forms in your brain.
Let's put it in context. If I make you a coffee in my kitchen, using my lovely coffee machine and give it to you saying 'it makes really nice coffee,' the likelihood is you will agree with me.
If I make you a coffee in my kitchen, using my lovely coffee machine however, and I tell you that its the best cup of coffee that has ever been made, you are going to expect something spectacular, and what you will probably get is disappointed. It is after all, only a home coffee machine and normal coffee.
Did my rant live up the hype then? I'll let you be the judge. Luckily, tomorrows rant will quantifiably be the best ever.. probably.
Rant over.
Tuesday, 19 June 2012
Rant 171 19/6/12 Subject: Remakes
Rant number 171
I like films a lot you know. All different types of films in fact.
The films I think I like best though are horror films. Now, i think that the best horror films were made between the 70s and the 80s.
Some of the best of these are 'Friday the 13th','Halloween','Nightmare on Elm Street' and a personal favourite: 'fright night'
Now, beyond the fact that these films are great, there is another common denominator: they have all been remade.
And what do all of these remakes have in common?
They all really suck.
I'm watching 'Fright Night' now, and am wondering why I put it on my lovefilm list. It would be an Ok film at best, if it stood on its own.
It doesn't though. It stands on the shoulders of its much greater predecessor and has been found wanting.
It's like the difference between a cook and a chef. You can make a meal at home with a set of ingredients but a chef can turn it up to eleven (kudos points for those who know that reference.)
These directors have the ingredients which made up the original movie but lack the magic.
They also feel the need to 'make it there own' by adding modern references and subtext.
The modern 'Nightmare on Elm Street' for instance. In the original film, Freddy was just quite evil and killed for fun. There was no sexual element involved.
In the modern story though, they made him a pedophile on top of his other traits. I don't see the need. Can't he just be evil?
I watch remakes solely to see how badly they have done, but would love to see them get it right.
My advice though: watch the original, even though it may look a little dated. It will be a hundred times better.
Rant over.
I like films a lot you know. All different types of films in fact.
The films I think I like best though are horror films. Now, i think that the best horror films were made between the 70s and the 80s.
Some of the best of these are 'Friday the 13th','Halloween','Nightmare on Elm Street' and a personal favourite: 'fright night'
Now, beyond the fact that these films are great, there is another common denominator: they have all been remade.
And what do all of these remakes have in common?
They all really suck.
I'm watching 'Fright Night' now, and am wondering why I put it on my lovefilm list. It would be an Ok film at best, if it stood on its own.
It doesn't though. It stands on the shoulders of its much greater predecessor and has been found wanting.
It's like the difference between a cook and a chef. You can make a meal at home with a set of ingredients but a chef can turn it up to eleven (kudos points for those who know that reference.)
These directors have the ingredients which made up the original movie but lack the magic.
They also feel the need to 'make it there own' by adding modern references and subtext.
The modern 'Nightmare on Elm Street' for instance. In the original film, Freddy was just quite evil and killed for fun. There was no sexual element involved.
In the modern story though, they made him a pedophile on top of his other traits. I don't see the need. Can't he just be evil?
I watch remakes solely to see how badly they have done, but would love to see them get it right.
My advice though: watch the original, even though it may look a little dated. It will be a hundred times better.
Rant over.
Monday, 18 June 2012
Rant 170 18/6/12 Subject: The bad press of the 8 legged beasts
Rant number 170
Continuing my theme of creepy crawly related rants (wasps and midges so far,) I'd like to come to the defence of the octa-legged critters out there.
So who are we talking about? the spider of course.
I personally don't have a problem with spiders. I actually quite like them, and the jobs they do for us.
Fair enough, up close they look about as appealing as Anne Widecombe's lady parts, but the massive stigma surrounding them puzzles me. Think about it, what spider has ever really hurt you?
Exactly!
The negatives of spiders (people getting giddy at their eight legs and general ugliness) are far outweighed by the positives. They eat more unpleasant bugs - like flys, wasps (well, they try,) midges and moths. Fair enough, the way they eat is a little bit unpleasant - but I bet you look a bit of a state to them too!
Mainly, I don't get why a genuinely useful creature gets all this bad press, when something like an ant - which can be a real pain in the ass (and looks rather close to a wasp! bastards) is not so badly considered.
I reckon that the whole spider fear thing is a result of generations of people training their children to panic in the same way as them. A tiny creature with no venom of about 2inches diameter - should not be able to induce hysterical panic in a grown man. Its ridiculous and makes the innocent spider seem like a bully!
Stand up for your eight legged friends people! And think twice before you go flushing them down the plughole either - you big bully!
Rant over.
Continuing my theme of creepy crawly related rants (wasps and midges so far,) I'd like to come to the defence of the octa-legged critters out there.
So who are we talking about? the spider of course.
I personally don't have a problem with spiders. I actually quite like them, and the jobs they do for us.
Fair enough, up close they look about as appealing as Anne Widecombe's lady parts, but the massive stigma surrounding them puzzles me. Think about it, what spider has ever really hurt you?
Exactly!
The negatives of spiders (people getting giddy at their eight legs and general ugliness) are far outweighed by the positives. They eat more unpleasant bugs - like flys, wasps (well, they try,) midges and moths. Fair enough, the way they eat is a little bit unpleasant - but I bet you look a bit of a state to them too!
Mainly, I don't get why a genuinely useful creature gets all this bad press, when something like an ant - which can be a real pain in the ass (and looks rather close to a wasp! bastards) is not so badly considered.
I reckon that the whole spider fear thing is a result of generations of people training their children to panic in the same way as them. A tiny creature with no venom of about 2inches diameter - should not be able to induce hysterical panic in a grown man. Its ridiculous and makes the innocent spider seem like a bully!
Stand up for your eight legged friends people! And think twice before you go flushing them down the plughole either - you big bully!
Rant over.
Sunday, 17 June 2012
Rant 169 17/6/12 Subject: Media formats
Rant number 169
As stated yesterday, I'm on holiday at the end of the week!
This may be a bit of a theme for this week - sorry.
Now, because the holiday is in the UK and because the weather has been known to be 'changeable' I've decided to convert a couple of videos to put on the iPad.
Which has reminded me, what a bloody minefield media formats are.
There are too many cooks in the kitchen of video! Too many indeed.
Avi, Divx, Xvid, Mp2, Mp4, Mkv, Mov, Mpg etc etc. These (and more) are ways of encoding videos, and so you'd think they'd have something in common - and thus they would get along.
They bloody well don't though.
Different pieces of equipment rather inconveniently use different formats and will not touch the others. Simply put, this means that you have to convert items in the wrong format to the right format - which is really not terribly convenient.
Videos are big items you see: generally several hundred mb (average 750mb.) This means that changing the format can take hours and hours. It really is a bind.
Can't people just play nice together and come up with just a couple of successful video formats.
It's really bloody annoying!
Rant over.
As stated yesterday, I'm on holiday at the end of the week!
This may be a bit of a theme for this week - sorry.
Now, because the holiday is in the UK and because the weather has been known to be 'changeable' I've decided to convert a couple of videos to put on the iPad.
Which has reminded me, what a bloody minefield media formats are.
There are too many cooks in the kitchen of video! Too many indeed.
Avi, Divx, Xvid, Mp2, Mp4, Mkv, Mov, Mpg etc etc. These (and more) are ways of encoding videos, and so you'd think they'd have something in common - and thus they would get along.
They bloody well don't though.
Different pieces of equipment rather inconveniently use different formats and will not touch the others. Simply put, this means that you have to convert items in the wrong format to the right format - which is really not terribly convenient.
Videos are big items you see: generally several hundred mb (average 750mb.) This means that changing the format can take hours and hours. It really is a bind.
Can't people just play nice together and come up with just a couple of successful video formats.
It's really bloody annoying!
Rant over.
Saturday, 16 June 2012
Rant 168 16/6/12 Subject: Clothes shopping
Rant number 168
As of the end of next week, I am on holiday (from work, not from rants - don't worry!)
There really is only one way to articulate the way I feel about this which is:
Yay
There really isn't much negative about going on holiday, except for coming back and there being work waiting for you. But that really isn't something I'm terribly fussed about at the mo.
Now, if there is one thing everyone wants to do for a holiday - its to look nice by getting some new togs - which I planned to to today.
Except, I failed.
I want some new casual trousers to go trotting around in. Not a tall order really you would think?
Really though, its a bit of a nightmare. The times change and styles change - and completely not to my taste. It's really bloody annoying.
I may not be a trendy type of guy - and I don't follow fashion and trends. I just know what I like, and like to be able to buy it. I can't though.
And if I do like something, its always got a flaw. The cut isn't right, or its not in my size (damned be to my fat arse,) or its got a button fly (the work of the devil!,) or they are too long (or my legs are too short more aptly) or something else.
I just want to be able to buy something that will suit me! Is that so bloody difficult. It's not like I've never found the allusive perfect pants. I've already got some, but they won't last for ever - thus the never ending search.
Why can't they just stick with nice styles! It would be much easier.
Rant over.
As of the end of next week, I am on holiday (from work, not from rants - don't worry!)
There really is only one way to articulate the way I feel about this which is:
Yay
There really isn't much negative about going on holiday, except for coming back and there being work waiting for you. But that really isn't something I'm terribly fussed about at the mo.
Now, if there is one thing everyone wants to do for a holiday - its to look nice by getting some new togs - which I planned to to today.
Except, I failed.
I want some new casual trousers to go trotting around in. Not a tall order really you would think?
Really though, its a bit of a nightmare. The times change and styles change - and completely not to my taste. It's really bloody annoying.
I may not be a trendy type of guy - and I don't follow fashion and trends. I just know what I like, and like to be able to buy it. I can't though.
And if I do like something, its always got a flaw. The cut isn't right, or its not in my size (damned be to my fat arse,) or its got a button fly (the work of the devil!,) or they are too long (or my legs are too short more aptly) or something else.
I just want to be able to buy something that will suit me! Is that so bloody difficult. It's not like I've never found the allusive perfect pants. I've already got some, but they won't last for ever - thus the never ending search.
Why can't they just stick with nice styles! It would be much easier.
Rant over.
Friday, 15 June 2012
Rant 167 15/6/12 Subject: Invasive Facebook requests
Rant number 167
Today, as I was considering several options for my rant subject, my phoned spake forth with a notification.
Now, a modern phone like mine is hooked into many things, my emails, my facebook and twitter accounts and even my calls and texts!
As such I get a lot of notifications every day (at least around 50,) which made this event highly unremarkable.
Thinking it may amuse me, I clicked onto said notification and found that something had been posted upon my wall by someone I barely ever exchange a word with.
Odd yes? I thought so too.
Curiosity thus aroused, I opened my Facebook account to see what had been posted.
And what prey was I met with? I hear you cry:
Person X(obviously not the real persons name, but it seems a little rude to cite the imbecile directly) challenges you to a rock battle using pop star. Or some such shite.
Now, I have several things to say about a this, none of them good:
A) I don't play games on Facebook. I'm not interested in Facebook style games and have neither the time or the inclination.
B) If I did want to, I would look myself, not wait for someone to ask.
C) I don't respond to game requests and have them blocked (see points A&B.) Somehow however, someone else has signed up for an app that posts on my bloody wall. I think that that is so rude that person X will not be on my list come the morning.
How come these apps can now invade the privacy of those who are merely on these people's contact lists? I don't mind people posting to my wall, but I do not want it to be covered in graffiti, bullshit and game requests.
Read what you sign up for people, and make sure you aren't bothering those around you.
It's called social, not anti-social networking!
Rant over.
Today, as I was considering several options for my rant subject, my phoned spake forth with a notification.
Now, a modern phone like mine is hooked into many things, my emails, my facebook and twitter accounts and even my calls and texts!
As such I get a lot of notifications every day (at least around 50,) which made this event highly unremarkable.
Thinking it may amuse me, I clicked onto said notification and found that something had been posted upon my wall by someone I barely ever exchange a word with.
Odd yes? I thought so too.
Curiosity thus aroused, I opened my Facebook account to see what had been posted.
And what prey was I met with? I hear you cry:
Person X(obviously not the real persons name, but it seems a little rude to cite the imbecile directly) challenges you to a rock battle using pop star. Or some such shite.
Now, I have several things to say about a this, none of them good:
A) I don't play games on Facebook. I'm not interested in Facebook style games and have neither the time or the inclination.
B) If I did want to, I would look myself, not wait for someone to ask.
C) I don't respond to game requests and have them blocked (see points A&B.) Somehow however, someone else has signed up for an app that posts on my bloody wall. I think that that is so rude that person X will not be on my list come the morning.
How come these apps can now invade the privacy of those who are merely on these people's contact lists? I don't mind people posting to my wall, but I do not want it to be covered in graffiti, bullshit and game requests.
Read what you sign up for people, and make sure you aren't bothering those around you.
It's called social, not anti-social networking!
Rant over.
Thursday, 14 June 2012
Rant 166 14/6/12 Subject: Deliberate over-complication
Rant number 166
We used to be a hands-onsy type people, us brits. Make do and mend was a motto for everyone - and we could do it! Tinkerers were encouraged and thrived - pushing forward our industrial revolution.
But that is rather in the past.
Now don't get me wrong, tinkerers still exist out there, but they are increasingly confined to garages and sheds. And as for the rest of us? They really would like us to keep our hands off.
This applies to many things these days. Plugs for instance. You used to have to wire your own, until it was deemed that this was too dangerous - and too complex a task for us all.
Mostly though, this applies to cars.
There is a great deal of mysticism involved in car repair - and rightly so in many respects. The car has many parts that you shouldn't tinker with without some kind of knowledge and skill. There are however, things on a car that should be available and easy for any owner to do.
Topping up the windscreen washer for instance, is an easy task - you need to do it, otherwise you will eventually not be able to see a thing through the windscreen. Checking up the oil is also not difficult - and nor is topping it up. That's all fine.
But that's where it stops - as I found today with bulbs.
Bulbs will blow from time to time, in your car as much as in your house - its one of those things.
You need lights on your car, and will get pulled over if you are spotted with lights out - so you need to change the dead bulbs over. On modern cars though - this is a really awkward task.
Often a front bulb means moving the battery and bending your hands into an almost inhuman angle. At the back (as today) it means removing the whole lighting unit, unclipping it & then rehousing the whole bloody thing.
They want you to go to the dealer - and pay them lots of money and not get your hands dirty.
It really bugs me!
Rant over.
We used to be a hands-onsy type people, us brits. Make do and mend was a motto for everyone - and we could do it! Tinkerers were encouraged and thrived - pushing forward our industrial revolution.
But that is rather in the past.
Now don't get me wrong, tinkerers still exist out there, but they are increasingly confined to garages and sheds. And as for the rest of us? They really would like us to keep our hands off.
This applies to many things these days. Plugs for instance. You used to have to wire your own, until it was deemed that this was too dangerous - and too complex a task for us all.
Mostly though, this applies to cars.
There is a great deal of mysticism involved in car repair - and rightly so in many respects. The car has many parts that you shouldn't tinker with without some kind of knowledge and skill. There are however, things on a car that should be available and easy for any owner to do.
Topping up the windscreen washer for instance, is an easy task - you need to do it, otherwise you will eventually not be able to see a thing through the windscreen. Checking up the oil is also not difficult - and nor is topping it up. That's all fine.
But that's where it stops - as I found today with bulbs.
Bulbs will blow from time to time, in your car as much as in your house - its one of those things.
You need lights on your car, and will get pulled over if you are spotted with lights out - so you need to change the dead bulbs over. On modern cars though - this is a really awkward task.
Often a front bulb means moving the battery and bending your hands into an almost inhuman angle. At the back (as today) it means removing the whole lighting unit, unclipping it & then rehousing the whole bloody thing.
They want you to go to the dealer - and pay them lots of money and not get your hands dirty.
It really bugs me!
Rant over.
Wednesday, 13 June 2012
Rant 165 13/6/12 Subject: Fixing what (food) aint broken
Rant number 165
Today, my wife made a rather lovely tea for me. It was toad in the hole (which is a personal favourite,) with vegetarian meat balls & sausage in (my wife is vegetarian.)
Now, vegetarian cuisine is a complicated business really - its really kind of an up hill struggle.
You see, eating vegetables on their own day after day, week after week, month after month & year after year gets dull, which is where the emulation factor comes in.
Vegetarian sausages, vegetarian steaks and even vegetarian bacon exist - for the vegetarian who wants a bit of variety. It's come along way since the days of the nut cutlet.
The thing is though, that sausages are generally made out of sausage meat - pork, beef, entrails - all that stuff. Meatballs usually contain meat too!
So making a vegetarian version is really bloody difficult - which is the only conceivable reason I can fathom, that they would keep fiddling with them all the time.
My mum is vegetarian too, and so I've been brought up with this stuff. Every time I get used to a flavour - or begin to like something in these lines though, some bright spark changes the recipe: almost inevitably for the bad.
No-one bothers to change the flavour of real sausages every week do they? No they bloody don't.
I cannot understand in the slightest why they can't just leave well enough alone. Its bloody exasperating!
If they really wan't to change the recipes, couldn't they include a survey with the product - to see if people actually want to change the recipes. Its bloody ridiculous! Couldn't they just leave it well enough alone.
Rant over.
Today, my wife made a rather lovely tea for me. It was toad in the hole (which is a personal favourite,) with vegetarian meat balls & sausage in (my wife is vegetarian.)
Now, vegetarian cuisine is a complicated business really - its really kind of an up hill struggle.
You see, eating vegetables on their own day after day, week after week, month after month & year after year gets dull, which is where the emulation factor comes in.
Vegetarian sausages, vegetarian steaks and even vegetarian bacon exist - for the vegetarian who wants a bit of variety. It's come along way since the days of the nut cutlet.
The thing is though, that sausages are generally made out of sausage meat - pork, beef, entrails - all that stuff. Meatballs usually contain meat too!
So making a vegetarian version is really bloody difficult - which is the only conceivable reason I can fathom, that they would keep fiddling with them all the time.
My mum is vegetarian too, and so I've been brought up with this stuff. Every time I get used to a flavour - or begin to like something in these lines though, some bright spark changes the recipe: almost inevitably for the bad.
No-one bothers to change the flavour of real sausages every week do they? No they bloody don't.
I cannot understand in the slightest why they can't just leave well enough alone. Its bloody exasperating!
If they really wan't to change the recipes, couldn't they include a survey with the product - to see if people actually want to change the recipes. Its bloody ridiculous! Couldn't they just leave it well enough alone.
Rant over.
Tuesday, 12 June 2012
Rant 164 12/6/12 Subject: People leaving there cars everywhere
Rant number 164
I get up every morning feeling far from cheerful about a journey to work. I've already talked about commenting in general - and the fact that it sucks.
Like always though, people seem to be trying their very hardest to piss me off in the morning.
Now, for those of you reading from outside of the UK (of which, according to the stats, there are some!) a lot of our roads are rather narrow. Now don't get me wrong, this isn't really a problem in general. The roads are plenty for 2 cars to pass safely - often with a bit of room left over to dodge cyclists, pedestrians and potholes.
The problem is though, that the roads are intended to be 2 abreast, not 2 & a bit a breast and most certainly not 3 abreast.
Which is what has been pissing me off today.
You see, people seem to think that by putting on their magic hazard lights or by just putting their wheels slightly on the curb, they can leave their car bloody anywhere.
Literally, this morning I had to wait for around 5 selfish bastards who had just left their bloody cars, vans and buses in the road. Each time, there was traffic coming the other way- meaning I had to pull in and wait for 3 or 4 cars each bloody time. Time stolen and wasted early in the morning!
Why can't people just park somewhere out of the bloody way. It's really not that bloody difficult! It's also got to increase the change of something going wrong - or an accident. Bloody people!
Just because there aren't double yellow lines, it doesn't mean its a good idea to park there. Have people not a modicum of common bloody sense!
Rant over.
I get up every morning feeling far from cheerful about a journey to work. I've already talked about commenting in general - and the fact that it sucks.
Like always though, people seem to be trying their very hardest to piss me off in the morning.
Now, for those of you reading from outside of the UK (of which, according to the stats, there are some!) a lot of our roads are rather narrow. Now don't get me wrong, this isn't really a problem in general. The roads are plenty for 2 cars to pass safely - often with a bit of room left over to dodge cyclists, pedestrians and potholes.
The problem is though, that the roads are intended to be 2 abreast, not 2 & a bit a breast and most certainly not 3 abreast.
Which is what has been pissing me off today.
You see, people seem to think that by putting on their magic hazard lights or by just putting their wheels slightly on the curb, they can leave their car bloody anywhere.
Literally, this morning I had to wait for around 5 selfish bastards who had just left their bloody cars, vans and buses in the road. Each time, there was traffic coming the other way- meaning I had to pull in and wait for 3 or 4 cars each bloody time. Time stolen and wasted early in the morning!
Why can't people just park somewhere out of the bloody way. It's really not that bloody difficult! It's also got to increase the change of something going wrong - or an accident. Bloody people!
Just because there aren't double yellow lines, it doesn't mean its a good idea to park there. Have people not a modicum of common bloody sense!
Rant over.
Monday, 11 June 2012
Rant 163 11/6/12 Subject: Pay day loans
Rant number 163
Today, me and a colleague got talking about pay day loans.
I really haven't got much nice to say about them at all, so its time to get stuck in with the less nice stuff I suppose.
The pay day loan then: lets start with what they are.
]
A pay day loan is a small loan of up to around £200, intended to (as the name suggests) carry you through to pay day. This on its own is not a bad concept.
They aren't doing it to be nice though, they're doing it to make money: a lot of money.
The average APR (annual percentage rate) for a payday loan, comes to around 27,000% - or around 80% a bloody day. This means that if you borrow say £100 for 20 days, you could be paying back a couple hundred pounds - just to break even.
To do it, you'd have to be desperate or very naive. Either way they don't give a shit.
For all of their friendly facade, these companies are pure - fucking - evil. They want to trip you up, gift you trapped, then put the boot in. Its what they do.
What frightens me most of all, is that no-one has put a stop to it yet. How can trapping people who don't know better be in any way acceptable in our struggling economy.
There should be other help out there that exists. Banks which give them proper loans, credit societies - anything surely!
I just don't understand why they won't do something about these parasites!
Bastards.
Rant over.
Today, me and a colleague got talking about pay day loans.
I really haven't got much nice to say about them at all, so its time to get stuck in with the less nice stuff I suppose.
The pay day loan then: lets start with what they are.
]
A pay day loan is a small loan of up to around £200, intended to (as the name suggests) carry you through to pay day. This on its own is not a bad concept.
They aren't doing it to be nice though, they're doing it to make money: a lot of money.
The average APR (annual percentage rate) for a payday loan, comes to around 27,000% - or around 80% a bloody day. This means that if you borrow say £100 for 20 days, you could be paying back a couple hundred pounds - just to break even.
To do it, you'd have to be desperate or very naive. Either way they don't give a shit.
For all of their friendly facade, these companies are pure - fucking - evil. They want to trip you up, gift you trapped, then put the boot in. Its what they do.
What frightens me most of all, is that no-one has put a stop to it yet. How can trapping people who don't know better be in any way acceptable in our struggling economy.
There should be other help out there that exists. Banks which give them proper loans, credit societies - anything surely!
I just don't understand why they won't do something about these parasites!
Bastards.
Rant over.
Sunday, 10 June 2012
Rant 162 10/6/12 Subject: Carnivals
Rant number 162
Today, I took part in my second carnival of the year with band. First of all, this included marching - which as previously discussed is far from one of my favourite things.
Then there is the fact that I really don't like carnivals anyway.
At least, not the ones I've ever even involved in anyway.
I just don't get it. A procession of bands, floats, men dressed as women (and visa versa,) majorettes, cub scouts and teenage dance groups just don't really appeal to me.
When did it all begin?
I'm sure that the origins of carnivals are strong and interesting. A statement of a cultures roots, religion and music is admirable. Unfortunately, the ones in the UK are nothing like this.
I understand that they must raise good money for charities, and that kids love them. I just wonder if a similar (if not more) amount of money couldn't be raised without a load of miserable people trotting along in the rain.
Why do people get so enthusiastic about people & groups they usually wouldn't give a damn about, just because they are doing what they usually do in the streets.
Our band for instance can be seen in concert, looking our best and playing to the best of our ability. On the march however, we are playing against adversity. Ipso facto, we are not playing to the best of our ability.
It's got to be the same for other groups too. If people want to see people perform, why not get off their assess and go see them properly. Watching them in the streets is just not the way to do it at all!
I'm glad thats the last bloody one of the year!
Rant over.
Today, I took part in my second carnival of the year with band. First of all, this included marching - which as previously discussed is far from one of my favourite things.
Then there is the fact that I really don't like carnivals anyway.
At least, not the ones I've ever even involved in anyway.
I just don't get it. A procession of bands, floats, men dressed as women (and visa versa,) majorettes, cub scouts and teenage dance groups just don't really appeal to me.
When did it all begin?
I'm sure that the origins of carnivals are strong and interesting. A statement of a cultures roots, religion and music is admirable. Unfortunately, the ones in the UK are nothing like this.
I understand that they must raise good money for charities, and that kids love them. I just wonder if a similar (if not more) amount of money couldn't be raised without a load of miserable people trotting along in the rain.
Why do people get so enthusiastic about people & groups they usually wouldn't give a damn about, just because they are doing what they usually do in the streets.
Our band for instance can be seen in concert, looking our best and playing to the best of our ability. On the march however, we are playing against adversity. Ipso facto, we are not playing to the best of our ability.
It's got to be the same for other groups too. If people want to see people perform, why not get off their assess and go see them properly. Watching them in the streets is just not the way to do it at all!
I'm glad thats the last bloody one of the year!
Rant over.
Saturday, 9 June 2012
Rant 161 9/6/12 Subject: Ridiculous train prices
Rant number 161
In two weeks time, I'm off on holiday - and I'm really rather looking forward to it.
We're off to cornwall with the parents, who are located in Somerset. This leaves me only the journey between here and Somerset to worry about - as my Stepfather is driving from there to Cornwall.
Now, for any of you not too familiar with the Geography involved, the journey between us in Huddersfield (in the North West) and Stoke Sub Hamdon (in the South West) is some 250 miles, which is quite a long way.
In a car, without taking into account traffic - the journey will take around 4 1/2 hours, which although not a problem - is a bit of a long trek (particularly in my rather small car.)
As such, me and the wife decided we would probably get a train.
Now, the cost of travelling by car for the two of us will be between £30 (good run) and £40 (not good run.) So worse case scenario, the two of us travelling would cost £15 per person in fuel. Theres then coffees and burgers etc to take into account en route - so lets chalk the total up to around £25 each - making the total return around £100.
Far from cheap that I know, but we get to travel at our convenience, with our own entertainment. We can also stop at whatever services we need to.
With those luxuries then - you would expect that to be the expensive option.
It bloody well isn't though.
For the pleasure of spending 10 minutes to get the first train station, 4 1/2 hours on trains then another 20 minutes travelling from the other station to my parents you'd think that things would be cheaper.
They aren't though.
Then there is the sitting in a cramped carriage, continually travelling with hot, smelly, fed up, noisy strangers for the duration. Surely this would make a difference.
It doesn't though.
Then there is the fact that one train can propel several hundred people, making fuel costs per person very low. Surely they pass this on?
Do they bolucs.
No, for each of us to get to Somerset and back, without travelling to the stations or any other costs, it would cost us £170 each.
Shit a brick.
Why on earth does anyone travel by train any more? There is not a reason I can think of.
How on earth can you charge so much for one person? For that kind of money, I'd be expecting a personal mariachi band - to serenade me for the duration of the journey.
I could hire a bloody car and drive it there for that kind of money.
In fact, I could hire a car and a bloody driver! and I'd probably have enough left over for a half decent bottle of wife.
What a set of thieving bastards! Looks like I'm driving then.
Rant over.
Friday, 8 June 2012
Rant 160 8/6/12 Subject: Melting memory
Rant number 160
One hundred and sixty days is quite a long time. For instance, if you walked a mile a day for a hundred and sixty days - you'd have walked a whole a hundred and sixty miles - which is a long way!
It's also a lot of hours: three thousand, eight hundred and forty of the buggers to be precise - and at least half of those I must have been awake which I make to be one thousand nine hundred and twenty conscious hours.
Within those hours, I have collated a lot of information. Doubtless millions of terabytes worth of the bloody stuff, pictures, music, videos and various other flotsam and jetsam including Brian Blessed. The problem with this is that it takes rather a lot of effort to index it all - which makes remembering just about everything a little difficult.
Which - via rather a long monologue, brings me round to the point in hand. 160 Long days in to my rants, I'm still not having trouble getting annoyed and picking a subject every day. I do keep wondering however, whether I've already covered a subject.
Don't get me wrong, if I cover a subject twice and say some different things - its really not the end of the world. If I say exactly the same thing twice though, its just a bit rubbish.
Why can't I remember the details of something I do each and every day. I spend time thinking about it, time concentrating on it and yet - I can't remember 160 days worth. Its madness!
It's just a bit knaff really, my memory really should serve me better than it does! The rest of my brain is on course of this ranting journey why can't it just be!? It's like the drunken bloke who is in charge of the anchor and then forgets to pull it up when the boat is due to set off!
Bloody norah!
Rant over.
One hundred and sixty days is quite a long time. For instance, if you walked a mile a day for a hundred and sixty days - you'd have walked a whole a hundred and sixty miles - which is a long way!
It's also a lot of hours: three thousand, eight hundred and forty of the buggers to be precise - and at least half of those I must have been awake which I make to be one thousand nine hundred and twenty conscious hours.
Within those hours, I have collated a lot of information. Doubtless millions of terabytes worth of the bloody stuff, pictures, music, videos and various other flotsam and jetsam including Brian Blessed. The problem with this is that it takes rather a lot of effort to index it all - which makes remembering just about everything a little difficult.
Which - via rather a long monologue, brings me round to the point in hand. 160 Long days in to my rants, I'm still not having trouble getting annoyed and picking a subject every day. I do keep wondering however, whether I've already covered a subject.
Don't get me wrong, if I cover a subject twice and say some different things - its really not the end of the world. If I say exactly the same thing twice though, its just a bit rubbish.
Why can't I remember the details of something I do each and every day. I spend time thinking about it, time concentrating on it and yet - I can't remember 160 days worth. Its madness!
It's just a bit knaff really, my memory really should serve me better than it does! The rest of my brain is on course of this ranting journey why can't it just be!? It's like the drunken bloke who is in charge of the anchor and then forgets to pull it up when the boat is due to set off!
Bloody norah!
Rant over.
Thursday, 7 June 2012
Rant 159 7/6/12 Subject: Computers
Rant number 159
I have realised that there is an unhealthy amount of computer usage going on in my life! I'm surrounded by the bloody things!
I wake up each morning and check my Facebook on my Smartphone (which is, after all a mini computer (in fact, and to show my age a little - my phone has around 20 times more processing power than my first PC...)) then head off to work.
Once I get to work, the first thing I do each and every morning, is to turn my computer on.
Following this, I then tap away at it for approx. 8 1/2 hours, before heading homewards.
Once there, I tap tap away away on my phone some more, or on my laptop or on the wife's iPad. Even my rant needs to be written on one of these devices.
When did I become so plugged in? Its like some prophecy from a technophobic film. Who now doesn't live their lives around their computers and their phone: very few people indeed.
Its impossible to live your life without it now. Even simple things have computers in them. Your TV's EPG is a simple computer, everything you read in the papers - has been put written, laid out and set on a computer. The buses run on a computer timetable, the financial system is all computer based. There is nothing you can do to avoid it, however old or luddite you may be!
Put it this way, if someone ever invents a virus that eats silicone: we are proper fucked!
Rant over.
I have realised that there is an unhealthy amount of computer usage going on in my life! I'm surrounded by the bloody things!
I wake up each morning and check my Facebook on my Smartphone (which is, after all a mini computer (in fact, and to show my age a little - my phone has around 20 times more processing power than my first PC...)) then head off to work.
Once I get to work, the first thing I do each and every morning, is to turn my computer on.
Following this, I then tap away at it for approx. 8 1/2 hours, before heading homewards.
Once there, I tap tap away away on my phone some more, or on my laptop or on the wife's iPad. Even my rant needs to be written on one of these devices.
When did I become so plugged in? Its like some prophecy from a technophobic film. Who now doesn't live their lives around their computers and their phone: very few people indeed.
Its impossible to live your life without it now. Even simple things have computers in them. Your TV's EPG is a simple computer, everything you read in the papers - has been put written, laid out and set on a computer. The buses run on a computer timetable, the financial system is all computer based. There is nothing you can do to avoid it, however old or luddite you may be!
Put it this way, if someone ever invents a virus that eats silicone: we are proper fucked!
Rant over.
Wednesday, 6 June 2012
Rant 158 6/6/12 Subject: The sales e-mail
Rant number 158
Nearly every job in an office environment these days involves e-mails. I don't even want to think about how many e-mails I've answered in my working life. Probably enough to pile them all up and make a very tall pile...
Mostly, e-mails are on topic - which is fine. Queries, things that need to be sorted out etc etc. They might get on my nerves fair enough - but they are my job to work through.
At least 3 times a week, week after week, month after month & year after year however, a different type of e-mail has started to turn up: the sales e-mail.
You see, when you have any web presence at all these days - money is to be made: which means that someone else thinks they can get some.
'We can improve your web presence' is a common phrase.
'Search Engine Optimisation' is another.
And what do these things me? It means - give us money and we will do something you could do yourself.
I mean - don't get me wrong, you might need to pay google to get pushed up the rankings, but paying someone else in the middle is not going to make things any cheaper.
And the persistence of these idiots is just infuriating. They can all do it better, cheaper and more efficiently than any of the other idiots who offer the same thing.
Do they really think that I can down in the last shower?
The rediculousness of sending off unasked for e-mails to every company online, just on the off change that some idiot may take them up on it.
If only there was some way of creating some kind of reply e-mail - that would cause the reader to have a spontaneous, wet and messy bowel movement, I might be able to put a stop to this kind of thing!
If anyone has any suggestions on how I could accomplish that, that would be pretty cool!
Rant over.
Nearly every job in an office environment these days involves e-mails. I don't even want to think about how many e-mails I've answered in my working life. Probably enough to pile them all up and make a very tall pile...
Mostly, e-mails are on topic - which is fine. Queries, things that need to be sorted out etc etc. They might get on my nerves fair enough - but they are my job to work through.
At least 3 times a week, week after week, month after month & year after year however, a different type of e-mail has started to turn up: the sales e-mail.
You see, when you have any web presence at all these days - money is to be made: which means that someone else thinks they can get some.
'We can improve your web presence' is a common phrase.
'Search Engine Optimisation' is another.
And what do these things me? It means - give us money and we will do something you could do yourself.
I mean - don't get me wrong, you might need to pay google to get pushed up the rankings, but paying someone else in the middle is not going to make things any cheaper.
And the persistence of these idiots is just infuriating. They can all do it better, cheaper and more efficiently than any of the other idiots who offer the same thing.
Do they really think that I can down in the last shower?
The rediculousness of sending off unasked for e-mails to every company online, just on the off change that some idiot may take them up on it.
If only there was some way of creating some kind of reply e-mail - that would cause the reader to have a spontaneous, wet and messy bowel movement, I might be able to put a stop to this kind of thing!
If anyone has any suggestions on how I could accomplish that, that would be pretty cool!
Rant over.
Tuesday, 5 June 2012
Rant 157 5/6/12 Subject: Bad movies
Rant number 157
Apologies for the relatively short rant yesterday. I may well have had a few (potentially more than I should)
As a result, today is a day of rest with the lovely waff.
The last four days have been tough ones with band and beer, and so now its all about r&r - which means its time to watch some movies.
Being a bit of a (massive) movie buff, I subscribe to LoveFilm - which gives me access to many movies by post and also movies via internet streaming.
Now, I personally think that Internet streaming is one of the best things to happen to film rentals since the home video was released. If you wanted to watch a film 5 years ago and didn't have it in your collection, you had to get in your car, go to the local rental place, find that the film you wanted wasn't in, drive to another rental place and then take it home with you - just to bring it back the following day.
As a system, this was a little flawed, I think you will agree.
Now, if I want to watch a movie - I can pick it from the selection online - which is brilliant.
Except
Now, its a bit too easy to watch a bad movie. I mean, in the past - you had to really think about it before coughing up your £3 and taking home your VHS, now its a bit too easy to pick one.
And god are there a lot of rubbish movies out there, and not in the 'so bad its good' category.
There are endless terrible films on LoveFilm - and there is doubtless an equal amount on Netflix too. That's the problem you see with streaming, the licensing costs a lot - which means that they need to save cash somewhere - which is where many crap films come in.
Cheaper movie making equipment has made it so much easier for people to make films, meaning that the scrupulous checks that took place in the past no longer take place.
Trawl through the list of films and you will find many a film within the categories of:
'High concept' (storyline too complex to follow with no budget)
'Teen Horror' (Remake of Friday the 13th/the Hills have eyes with ugly people and no Budget)
'Sci-fi' (Cost about 10p to make. More Tin foil that a Christmas turkey)
That are simply awful. Why do people think that they can succeed to make a classic by recycling ideas using a cast that have all the acting ability of a pot of shoe polish!
I just don't understand why people keep making these movies and, worse than that - why people keep funding them!
I hate really bad movies!
Rant over.
Apologies for the relatively short rant yesterday. I may well have had a few (potentially more than I should)
As a result, today is a day of rest with the lovely waff.
The last four days have been tough ones with band and beer, and so now its all about r&r - which means its time to watch some movies.
Being a bit of a (massive) movie buff, I subscribe to LoveFilm - which gives me access to many movies by post and also movies via internet streaming.
Now, I personally think that Internet streaming is one of the best things to happen to film rentals since the home video was released. If you wanted to watch a film 5 years ago and didn't have it in your collection, you had to get in your car, go to the local rental place, find that the film you wanted wasn't in, drive to another rental place and then take it home with you - just to bring it back the following day.
As a system, this was a little flawed, I think you will agree.
Now, if I want to watch a movie - I can pick it from the selection online - which is brilliant.
Except
Now, its a bit too easy to watch a bad movie. I mean, in the past - you had to really think about it before coughing up your £3 and taking home your VHS, now its a bit too easy to pick one.
And god are there a lot of rubbish movies out there, and not in the 'so bad its good' category.
There are endless terrible films on LoveFilm - and there is doubtless an equal amount on Netflix too. That's the problem you see with streaming, the licensing costs a lot - which means that they need to save cash somewhere - which is where many crap films come in.
Cheaper movie making equipment has made it so much easier for people to make films, meaning that the scrupulous checks that took place in the past no longer take place.
Trawl through the list of films and you will find many a film within the categories of:
'High concept' (storyline too complex to follow with no budget)
'Teen Horror' (Remake of Friday the 13th/the Hills have eyes with ugly people and no Budget)
'Sci-fi' (Cost about 10p to make. More Tin foil that a Christmas turkey)
That are simply awful. Why do people think that they can succeed to make a classic by recycling ideas using a cast that have all the acting ability of a pot of shoe polish!
I just don't understand why people keep making these movies and, worse than that - why people keep funding them!
I hate really bad movies!
Rant over.
Monday, 4 June 2012
Rant 156 4/6/12 Subject: Alcohol
Rant number 156
Alcohol is evil stuff really, and should really be banned. Particularly as I have been consuming it since around 2.30pm today.
It's a drug that we can all buy (over the age of 18,) but which can truly ruin us all.
After a drink or two, I can't do the simplest things - walk, talk or even pee in a straight line without rather a large effort.
Even doing these rants, an activity which generally comes to me with no effort - becomes very hard,
So why do we do it? Is the feeling of relaxed chaos so worth it?
Who knows.
It's part of being an adult I suppose, filling our guts with alcohol and falling over sideways. I just can't decide why we do it.
But I do.
Who decided that something that makes you wobbly and makes you sick is a good idea?
Who knows.
It's just one of those things I suppose. Just our society.
Rant over.
Alcohol is evil stuff really, and should really be banned. Particularly as I have been consuming it since around 2.30pm today.
It's a drug that we can all buy (over the age of 18,) but which can truly ruin us all.
After a drink or two, I can't do the simplest things - walk, talk or even pee in a straight line without rather a large effort.
Even doing these rants, an activity which generally comes to me with no effort - becomes very hard,
So why do we do it? Is the feeling of relaxed chaos so worth it?
Who knows.
It's part of being an adult I suppose, filling our guts with alcohol and falling over sideways. I just can't decide why we do it.
But I do.
Who decided that something that makes you wobbly and makes you sick is a good idea?
Who knows.
It's just one of those things I suppose. Just our society.
Rant over.
Sunday, 3 June 2012
Rant 155 3/6/12 Subject: Karaoke
Rant number 154
Today was Jubilee day.
Now don't get me wrong - there are plenty of things I could (and probably will) say on the subject. None the less, I shall not pander to popular consensus and shall stick to the norm - ipso facto: ranting about what bugged me most, not what bugged me most topically.
Today, as prophesied in yesterdays rant I had to do my 10th (and thankfully final) march of the weekend. It was cold, it was rainy - it was: in a simple word... grim. But that's not what I'm going to talk about (particularly as I covered most of my points on the subject yesterday.)
Afterwards, I had a couple of hours to kill and so me and some other band members wandered on down to the local watering hole for a few.
Now to start off with, there was some quiet background music - which was spot on, as we had various insults to trade and subjects to discuss.
A short while later, some jubilee festivities were to kick off - which meant that the music got a little louder. I wasn't in the mood, but it really didn't bother me much at all.
Until...
The real music disappeared and the Karaoke began.
I really hate to listen to Karaoke, its terrible.
It encourages those who just can't sing, to try - and in public. Gone of the days where people sung into their hair brushes in the shower to prevent everyones embarrassment. Now its all about getting themselves on stage - to try and fill the void of talent in their souls.
The whole thing is a bit of a sick joke. Even those with genuine talent seem awful with the terrible backing tracks and the lyrics running by on screen. Those without - well. It's just awful.
It's also inspired all of the terrible bloody TV talent shows, which says a lot doesn't it!
I hate Karaoke!
Rant over.
Today was Jubilee day.
Now don't get me wrong - there are plenty of things I could (and probably will) say on the subject. None the less, I shall not pander to popular consensus and shall stick to the norm - ipso facto: ranting about what bugged me most, not what bugged me most topically.
Today, as prophesied in yesterdays rant I had to do my 10th (and thankfully final) march of the weekend. It was cold, it was rainy - it was: in a simple word... grim. But that's not what I'm going to talk about (particularly as I covered most of my points on the subject yesterday.)
Afterwards, I had a couple of hours to kill and so me and some other band members wandered on down to the local watering hole for a few.
Now to start off with, there was some quiet background music - which was spot on, as we had various insults to trade and subjects to discuss.
A short while later, some jubilee festivities were to kick off - which meant that the music got a little louder. I wasn't in the mood, but it really didn't bother me much at all.
Until...
The real music disappeared and the Karaoke began.
I really hate to listen to Karaoke, its terrible.
It encourages those who just can't sing, to try - and in public. Gone of the days where people sung into their hair brushes in the shower to prevent everyones embarrassment. Now its all about getting themselves on stage - to try and fill the void of talent in their souls.
The whole thing is a bit of a sick joke. Even those with genuine talent seem awful with the terrible backing tracks and the lyrics running by on screen. Those without - well. It's just awful.
It's also inspired all of the terrible bloody TV talent shows, which says a lot doesn't it!
I hate Karaoke!
Rant over.
Saturday, 2 June 2012
Rant 154 2/6/12 Subject: Marching
Rant number 154
Yesterday, was spent walking in time to music, whilst spontaneously creating said music. In other words: marching.
Marching in its simplest form, is walking with rhythm (putting your left foot down on the 1st and 3rd beats of the bar, and your right on the 2nd and 4th beats,) but becomes far more a complicated practice when you have to play a reasonably complex tune at the same time & also remember to breath enough to fill both the instrument and keep things working.
I just wonder who invented the whole marching and playing thing. I understand that it is probably quite efficient way of moving many troops - and it looks pretty smart when you have many people doing it. I just wonder what masochist started making people do it while they were playing music at the same time.
I mean, don't get me wrong - a big bass drum is a necessity to hammer in the beats and keep people in time, but who decided that he needed company? Carrying a big lump of metal and using all of your air to fill it up, while avoiding treading in poo or falling down a pot-hole is not an easy business. Add to this, that your music is attached to your instrument - which is bobbing up and down as much as you are - making consistent and accurate reading a thing of nearly preternatural effort.
Then there are the aches and pains that come after. I did 8 short marches yesterday - followed by another of around 2 miles today. Now, I feel like I spent yesterday bull fighting, aching in pretty much all areas!
And guess what? I have another tomorrow - after which I will fear for the structural integrity of my bodily structure no doubt!
Rant over.
Yesterday, was spent walking in time to music, whilst spontaneously creating said music. In other words: marching.
Marching in its simplest form, is walking with rhythm (putting your left foot down on the 1st and 3rd beats of the bar, and your right on the 2nd and 4th beats,) but becomes far more a complicated practice when you have to play a reasonably complex tune at the same time & also remember to breath enough to fill both the instrument and keep things working.
I just wonder who invented the whole marching and playing thing. I understand that it is probably quite efficient way of moving many troops - and it looks pretty smart when you have many people doing it. I just wonder what masochist started making people do it while they were playing music at the same time.
I mean, don't get me wrong - a big bass drum is a necessity to hammer in the beats and keep people in time, but who decided that he needed company? Carrying a big lump of metal and using all of your air to fill it up, while avoiding treading in poo or falling down a pot-hole is not an easy business. Add to this, that your music is attached to your instrument - which is bobbing up and down as much as you are - making consistent and accurate reading a thing of nearly preternatural effort.
Then there are the aches and pains that come after. I did 8 short marches yesterday - followed by another of around 2 miles today. Now, I feel like I spent yesterday bull fighting, aching in pretty much all areas!
And guess what? I have another tomorrow - after which I will fear for the structural integrity of my bodily structure no doubt!
Rant over.
Friday, 1 June 2012
Rant 153 1/6/12 Subject: Lack of context
Rant number 153
Yesterday on the radio, they were talking about 4G - yet another next big thing (have you noticed how often the next big thing isn't the big thing at all? yeah me too.)
For those of you not aware, 4G is intended to replace 3G, a mobile internet service using the mobile phone network to spread broadband speed(ish) internet to the masses.
4G is meant to take the speeds and turn it up to 11!
And I'm sure it will, once it's available - which it isn't.
Which brings me to the meat of the subject.
Essentially, the news report was talking about the delay in this techinology arriving to our shores, it even featured several interviews from people who 'need' this technology.
They interviewed two people who said that they need the tech to check their emails, there Facebook and twitter and watch streamed content on the move. The people who need the technology then are not really business people, they are just kids who can't bear to be switched off for a minute.
As such, I really do not accept that this technology is 'essential.'
They got a typical 'tech expert' involved on the story, who said that us not having this technology as fast as the American's and the south Koreans would put us behind the times and potentially hold us longer in recession.
I'm sorry, but is that really a valid argument?
I don't remember slow mobile broadband being the cause of the current financial uncertainty and I sure as hell don't think that faster mobile broadband is going to fix it either.
I do understand that some money could be made using this tech, but not for the country.
People need to get a grip. How can you argue that one very luxury based service can hold a country back or push it forward? Its severely lacking in any form of context.
If 4G takes us a couple years longer, but we manage to keep more hospitals running - I'd be much happier. I have 3G on my current phone - and yes it isn't fast. It also has Wifi though - and there are connections absolutely everywhere (and it grows every day)
I wonder what next big thing will push us out of this recession.
Give me strength!
Rant over.
Yesterday on the radio, they were talking about 4G - yet another next big thing (have you noticed how often the next big thing isn't the big thing at all? yeah me too.)
For those of you not aware, 4G is intended to replace 3G, a mobile internet service using the mobile phone network to spread broadband speed(ish) internet to the masses.
4G is meant to take the speeds and turn it up to 11!
And I'm sure it will, once it's available - which it isn't.
Which brings me to the meat of the subject.
Essentially, the news report was talking about the delay in this techinology arriving to our shores, it even featured several interviews from people who 'need' this technology.
They interviewed two people who said that they need the tech to check their emails, there Facebook and twitter and watch streamed content on the move. The people who need the technology then are not really business people, they are just kids who can't bear to be switched off for a minute.
As such, I really do not accept that this technology is 'essential.'
They got a typical 'tech expert' involved on the story, who said that us not having this technology as fast as the American's and the south Koreans would put us behind the times and potentially hold us longer in recession.
I'm sorry, but is that really a valid argument?
I don't remember slow mobile broadband being the cause of the current financial uncertainty and I sure as hell don't think that faster mobile broadband is going to fix it either.
I do understand that some money could be made using this tech, but not for the country.
People need to get a grip. How can you argue that one very luxury based service can hold a country back or push it forward? Its severely lacking in any form of context.
If 4G takes us a couple years longer, but we manage to keep more hospitals running - I'd be much happier. I have 3G on my current phone - and yes it isn't fast. It also has Wifi though - and there are connections absolutely everywhere (and it grows every day)
I wonder what next big thing will push us out of this recession.
Give me strength!
Rant over.
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