Today, after what seems like an endless and agonising wait, I finally got to see 'The Dark Knight Rises'
I'm not talking about that today, because it's bloody fantastic.
So much so in fact, that I felt the need to write a haiku review about it after leaving. It goes as follows:
A wonderous film
It was exciting as hell
Watch it again soon!
It's short, to the point and, on reflection a little bit crap really.
The reasons are as follows for this:
A) It is a haiku (A form of poem whereby the first sentence must contain 5 syllables, the second 7 & the third 5 again.)
B) It is a poem.
The poem in general then, is not something I really care for. I like nearly all forms of writing: stories both long and short, fiction and non fiction, reviews, critiques and many other forms.
Poetry though, is not something I make room for in my collection.
I just don't understand it.
Poems are flowery as hell and no word can actually mean what its meant to (and that's if they don't just make a word up.)
Then there is the fact that they can never be about what they are apparently about. For instance - if someone writes a poem called 'The Black Rose' (a suitably ponsy and poetic name I'm sure you would agree) it will probably be about a struggling sausage maker in denmark.
Finally, and this is my biggest beef of all about poetry. Poems are fucking pretentious.
People who write poems are generally people with too much time on their hands. People who know 30 different ways of saying mud.
They're the kind of people who would corner you at a party and talk you into a coma via the means of an epic poem about the plight of a Mongolian Nose-flute Artist (actually a potent metaphor for the plight of a Russia Donkey salesman, counterpointed against 9/11 with a bit of religion in there for good measure.)
About the only type of poetry I can manage to put up with is limericks, particularly the dirty ones about ladies from Kentuckit.
As for the type of poems that are like puzzles where you have to use a specific rhyme scheme or the specific amount of syllables, Don't get me started.
In summary, if you should catch me writing poetry again - you have my permission to tell me to stop!
Rant over.
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