We all love a bit of escapism now and then. I'm a big fan of movies (but only the good ones. I really hate being cheated out of my time watching bad ones.)
I particularly like horror movies - or at at least, the original ones. In truth though - horror movies have become increasingly unoriginal through the last decade or so, so it's getting harder and harder to really enjoy them.
One problem though, has plagued horror movies since their genesis:
No-one ever acts anything like real people - or certainly not real people with an ounce of sense.
I'll be honest to you - although movies don't particular scare me: scary noises, unusual events and even the dark are prone to giving me the willies! Even in the comfort of my home, a place of safety where I am in familiar surroundings I can get a little bit of a cold feeling down my neck for no apparent reasons.
Fear is - after all, part of our sense of self preservation - if you didn't have it, you would probably not last long.
Like the bloody idiots in horror films.
If I was in unfamiliar surroundings and the lights went out - the first thing I would probably do would be to turn on my mobile phone torch or the LED in my car key (have you ever noticed that they never have any form of luminescence on them?) in order to locate something more substantial to light the room with.
I would then probably have a look to see if there was a fuse box/trip switch (have you ever noticed that they never have trip switches in movies, its always like seriously old school fuses, like they haven't put into houses for bloody years.)
Whilst looking, if I heard a scary noise - I would probably return to the safety of my group of friends to investigate together or - if I was alone, I would head for a safe place or the kitchen for some form of weapon. I certainly wouldn't start calling out for one of my friends/loved ones - following shadows running away like idiots do in the movies.
'Is that you John','Why are you running away John','John where are you going','Oh you aren't John','Aaarrrrggghhhh!
If I was a petite cheerleader (yes, that does take some imagination,) and I heard a scary noise outside, I'd lock the doors and windows, turn on all the lights, arm myself and call the police (using my mobile - see my previous point.) I certainly wouldn't be heading outside in my nightgown to investigate a scary sound. It's scary for a reason love, it's a serial killing vampire badger or something.
Finally - I must cover the subject of Sex. In horror movies they do often have sex - its one of those cardinal rules (sex = you die.) That's kind of a raw deal - as most horror films are stocked with lusty teenagers who want to have sex (and thus die.) Half the reason is surely the venues they choose for their trystings.
Dark creepy woods are not a place to have sex! Especially not when you have broken and entered your way into a forbidden place of some sort. If you stay somewhere called 'Camp Dread' or 'Lake Killsyouhorribly' its probably not really a holiday destination - particularly not for some 'Alfresco loving.'
Do it in bed in your house and you will probably be OK - mostly. Though there are some exceptions in the movies. That's more of a horror film logic thing than proof that sex will kill you.
I just wish people in horror films wouldn't spend so much time doing it wrong.
They make it far too easy for the bad guys really - they really do deserve to have their characters killed off.
Rant over.
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