Thursday, 5 April 2012

Rant 96 - 5/4/12 Subject: Flat pack furniture

Rant number 96


When Nostradamus predicted terror in the east: unlike popular misconception, he wasn't talking about Nazis or Iraq or Russia. No - Nostradamus had his beady predictive eyes set at something far worse:

The Swedish.

For quite some time now, the Swedes have been spreading a plague across the world - including our green and pleasant land:

The Flatpack!

It started out innocently enough, the odd cheap table, the odd computer desk - but now flatpack is just everywhere! My office for instance is a flatpack haven, flatpack desks, flatpack cupboards - you name it. To be honest, I think that the staff would be flatpack too if they thought they could manage it!

Through advent of the price of real wood furniture - and the poorness of everyone these days real artisan furniture is becoming a thing of the past. This upsets me!

Chipboard & MDF are works of the devil, I swear!

So this aside what do I have against flatpack furniture?

Nothing in principal; sometimes the furniture is quite tough and hard wearing when put together well (which I can do) - but a lot of it is still flimsy as hell.

Then there are the downsides to all of it. The instructions are often terrible, cryptic pictograms; requiring more luck than judgement to fathom out.

Then there is my least favorite part of all - the 'that'll do' hole.  I swear that they all have one of these! A hole that isn't screwed in quite right, involving endless fettling to resolve!

The whole thing gets on my wick. Bloody Swedes!

Rant over.

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