Rant number 213
There is a lot of power in this here internet of ours. You can do like I do and write something for fun that hurts no-one. Or if you are not a pleasant person, you can do a lot of damage.
There has been a bit of a theme going on with this recently and it's really not on.
The internet is impossible to police in some ways, and that comes with a certain power - which allows the small minded to feel safe when they are absolute assholes on it. It's not OK though, you are an asshole however you say it - and hiding behind technology to say it makes it worse.
This happens a lot of Facebook for instance. People who wouldn't dare to say anything to your face suddenly become the biggest balled, bravado bastards you can think of. They're invincible you see?
No me neither.
A prime example of this has happened this week on Twitter.
Tom Daley, a talented Diver tried hard to do well. He fought hard with his partner but was beaten by more experienced opponents. No shame in that whatsoever.
Some absolute c*nts however, have been abusing him on twitter - saying that he's let down his father (who died some years ago.) Ignorant little shit.
To someone like that, I have only one thing to say. Next time you feel the need to type something offensive to anyone - think about whether you would say it to their face.
For instance, I would say to David Cameron 'I hate you, I hate everything your pathetic cast stands for, you are an out of touch, over paid, underworked asshole' on Twitter, but would happily say it to him over coffee.
Just before I spat it in his face of course.
I'm not telling you to be nice to your fellow man. I'm not here to preach.
I'm just saying that you should hold your internet conversations in the same esteem as you do your vocal ones.
Rant over.
Tuesday, 31 July 2012
Monday, 30 July 2012
Rant 212 30/7/12 Subject: The world beyond me
Rant number 212
You know what really bugs me, what really sticks in my craw?
Not being able to control everything.
I am someone who likes to be in charge of everything I can, but I just can't.
Put simply, I'm a control freak.
This can make things quite hard at work, because I have to constantly trust everyone else to do their stuff. It sets my teeth on edge you see
In a lot of ways I'd like to do everything from start to finish. That way I know that things are right and that I can do things methodically. I like to be methodical about things.
It's the same in a lot of things I do too. I like to try and do everything but sometimes I really shouldn't!
You see, there's being tenacious and there's trying to do much, sometimes because of how I am I bite off than even I can chew!
None the less, my rants are mine and mine alone, to right, administer too, design and look after. That brings me a warped kind of pleasure.
Rant over.
You know what really bugs me, what really sticks in my craw?
Not being able to control everything.
I am someone who likes to be in charge of everything I can, but I just can't.
Put simply, I'm a control freak.
This can make things quite hard at work, because I have to constantly trust everyone else to do their stuff. It sets my teeth on edge you see
In a lot of ways I'd like to do everything from start to finish. That way I know that things are right and that I can do things methodically. I like to be methodical about things.
It's the same in a lot of things I do too. I like to try and do everything but sometimes I really shouldn't!
You see, there's being tenacious and there's trying to do much, sometimes because of how I am I bite off than even I can chew!
None the less, my rants are mine and mine alone, to right, administer too, design and look after. That brings me a warped kind of pleasure.
Rant over.
Sunday, 29 July 2012
Rant 211 29/7/12 Subject: Aches and pains
Rant number 211
Ouch!
I'm quite achy today. This is not a normal thing (I'm not that old!) but is instead a reaction to the go-karting trip I was part of today. It was good fun throwing a car about the same size as a deck chair around a track at high speed, but also was surprisingly hard work.
As a result, I'm currently aching a little in the vicinity of my calves, my arms and my neck.
By no means is this unbearable, but it does beg the question. Why do we have to have aches and pains?
I mean, what use are they? None whatsoever.
They never happen before, or during a time when you are exerting yourself do they? No. They don't creep up and go - that's hurting now, better be carefully Trum!
No, they come along afterwards when you've stopped exerting yourself and go 'you shouldn't have done that.' How warped is that!
Aches and pains also send out a most mixed message. If I had been exerting myself to get fit, my body would have told me afterwards that this was a bad idea - when really, it should be a good idea. Why send me messages that I should stop doing things that it doesn't like that are good for it!
The whole thing is bloody ridiculous!
Rant over.
Ouch!
I'm quite achy today. This is not a normal thing (I'm not that old!) but is instead a reaction to the go-karting trip I was part of today. It was good fun throwing a car about the same size as a deck chair around a track at high speed, but also was surprisingly hard work.
As a result, I'm currently aching a little in the vicinity of my calves, my arms and my neck.
By no means is this unbearable, but it does beg the question. Why do we have to have aches and pains?
I mean, what use are they? None whatsoever.
They never happen before, or during a time when you are exerting yourself do they? No. They don't creep up and go - that's hurting now, better be carefully Trum!
No, they come along afterwards when you've stopped exerting yourself and go 'you shouldn't have done that.' How warped is that!
Aches and pains also send out a most mixed message. If I had been exerting myself to get fit, my body would have told me afterwards that this was a bad idea - when really, it should be a good idea. Why send me messages that I should stop doing things that it doesn't like that are good for it!
The whole thing is bloody ridiculous!
Rant over.
Saturday, 28 July 2012
Rant 210 28/7/12 Subject: My lack of cooking ability
Rant number 210
I've got skills. I really do.
I can fix a computer, hardware or software for the most part.
I can play trombone well, compose to a reasonable standard, arrange music.
I can fix things, I can take things apart and put them back together again and usually have them still work. I can even program a VCR (for you young-uns, its like a DVD but bigger that the case of the DVD, with magnetic tape inside) the players were notoriously buggers to program!)
I'm great at a lot of things in fact. If I was a bow, I'd have a lot of strings (so god knows where you would put the arrows!)
I am not very good however, at cooking.
I mean, I can boil and egg, or cook a bacon sandwich (often resulting in burns!) I can cook scones or biscuits under supervision (to ensure no injuries are received by either me or the biscuits) but beyond that I'm not very good at all.
My wife, can cook a roast dinner for instance. Potatoes, chicken, boiled veg, gravy, roast potatoes, stuffing and roast spuds. She can also ensure that all of these bits are cooked on time, are piping hot and are cooked to perfection.
How does she do that? I mean, all of that!? It's a mystery to me.
I could probably just about manage to cook all of these bits on their own, once again with supervision and someone to point out when I was doing something stupid. To cook it all to time however, there would be little chance.
As for chefs, who balance hundreds of dishes a night - they are just freaky!
I bet I'm better at trombone than them, or wiring a plug or whistling or tying my shoelaces or something!
Anyway, probably time to stop procrastinating.
I'm off to cook my tea. Wish me luck.
Rant over.
I've got skills. I really do.
I can fix a computer, hardware or software for the most part.
I can play trombone well, compose to a reasonable standard, arrange music.
I can fix things, I can take things apart and put them back together again and usually have them still work. I can even program a VCR (for you young-uns, its like a DVD but bigger that the case of the DVD, with magnetic tape inside) the players were notoriously buggers to program!)
I'm great at a lot of things in fact. If I was a bow, I'd have a lot of strings (so god knows where you would put the arrows!)
I am not very good however, at cooking.
I mean, I can boil and egg, or cook a bacon sandwich (often resulting in burns!) I can cook scones or biscuits under supervision (to ensure no injuries are received by either me or the biscuits) but beyond that I'm not very good at all.
My wife, can cook a roast dinner for instance. Potatoes, chicken, boiled veg, gravy, roast potatoes, stuffing and roast spuds. She can also ensure that all of these bits are cooked on time, are piping hot and are cooked to perfection.
How does she do that? I mean, all of that!? It's a mystery to me.
I could probably just about manage to cook all of these bits on their own, once again with supervision and someone to point out when I was doing something stupid. To cook it all to time however, there would be little chance.
As for chefs, who balance hundreds of dishes a night - they are just freaky!
I bet I'm better at trombone than them, or wiring a plug or whistling or tying my shoelaces or something!
Anyway, probably time to stop procrastinating.
I'm off to cook my tea. Wish me luck.
Rant over.
Friday, 27 July 2012
Rant 209 27/7/12 Subject: Being forced back onto the peasant wagon
Rant number 209
I know I've kind of covered this subject already this year. As always though, I have new things to say about its less appreciable qualities.
Also, instead of my usual style - I'm going to try and take you on that journey with me (that's right, I'm going to make you suffer too, but you love it!) through the power of my descriptive words (or something like that!)
So to start off with, we are leaving work. Usually I can have a chat to my colleagues, have a pee if I need it then walk in my own time to my small comfortable car.
Because it's unfortunately, not very well at the moment, we're going to have to walk up hill to the bus stop. Getting to the bus stop, we then have to wait for the next bus - some 20 minutes after arriving (bearing in mind that the timetable says only 10.
All the while, it's hard to know what to do. Do I have a read (your observing, you aren't allowed your own book. Oh go on then, but don't go on about it) or not. I'm always worried I shall get engrossed in my book and miss the bus.
In the meantime of course, while thinking about this - the niggle that we shall soon have to board the bus is pretty grim.
Finally, after waving to it to make sure the guy stops we get on the bus. I wave my pass and on I get. No You don't need a pass, stop complaining, you just don't get one!
This is where the unpleasantness begins.
To start with, the triple smells of stale sweat, dirt & broken dreams fill the cab. None the less, there isn't much to be done and reluctantly we take our slightly soiled seats.
If I may put in context how unpleasant bus seats often are - I saw a bus driver sitting on newspapers today. Poor bastard.
Setting off, the fun isn't over yet. Because you get to be surrounded by the various other inhabitants - all of whom apparently want you dead, certainly going by their facial expressions. I don't particularly like them either but I don't see the need to glare. Bring a book with you or something!
The journey of course takes forever, stopping every half mile to pick up another person to glare or to decant one of them - so that he can get back to his plans of how to get away with murdering you.
Then, just when you think things can't get worse, someone decides that the seat next to you looks nice and inviting to sit in. I'm not a child and I can put up with this I suppose - but the person who decides to always seems to be the kind of person who bathes far too infrequently. They are also the kind of person who likes to sit right in the seat, as if scared that some animal will devour them if their legs invade the aisle.
I don't want to be cuddled by a smelly stranger. If that makes me person - well, then... I'll happily be bad.
To add final insult to injury too, they're always the person who wants to get up last at the other end, meaning that they get maximum time to encroach upon you with their personal space invading and stench.
So you're off, and think its all over. It isn't though, you've got to come with me to get on another bus, to do it all over again.
I do so miss my car!
Rant over.
I know I've kind of covered this subject already this year. As always though, I have new things to say about its less appreciable qualities.
Also, instead of my usual style - I'm going to try and take you on that journey with me (that's right, I'm going to make you suffer too, but you love it!) through the power of my descriptive words (or something like that!)
So to start off with, we are leaving work. Usually I can have a chat to my colleagues, have a pee if I need it then walk in my own time to my small comfortable car.
Because it's unfortunately, not very well at the moment, we're going to have to walk up hill to the bus stop. Getting to the bus stop, we then have to wait for the next bus - some 20 minutes after arriving (bearing in mind that the timetable says only 10.
All the while, it's hard to know what to do. Do I have a read (your observing, you aren't allowed your own book. Oh go on then, but don't go on about it) or not. I'm always worried I shall get engrossed in my book and miss the bus.
In the meantime of course, while thinking about this - the niggle that we shall soon have to board the bus is pretty grim.
Finally, after waving to it to make sure the guy stops we get on the bus. I wave my pass and on I get. No You don't need a pass, stop complaining, you just don't get one!
This is where the unpleasantness begins.
To start with, the triple smells of stale sweat, dirt & broken dreams fill the cab. None the less, there isn't much to be done and reluctantly we take our slightly soiled seats.
If I may put in context how unpleasant bus seats often are - I saw a bus driver sitting on newspapers today. Poor bastard.
Setting off, the fun isn't over yet. Because you get to be surrounded by the various other inhabitants - all of whom apparently want you dead, certainly going by their facial expressions. I don't particularly like them either but I don't see the need to glare. Bring a book with you or something!
The journey of course takes forever, stopping every half mile to pick up another person to glare or to decant one of them - so that he can get back to his plans of how to get away with murdering you.
Then, just when you think things can't get worse, someone decides that the seat next to you looks nice and inviting to sit in. I'm not a child and I can put up with this I suppose - but the person who decides to always seems to be the kind of person who bathes far too infrequently. They are also the kind of person who likes to sit right in the seat, as if scared that some animal will devour them if their legs invade the aisle.
I don't want to be cuddled by a smelly stranger. If that makes me person - well, then... I'll happily be bad.
To add final insult to injury too, they're always the person who wants to get up last at the other end, meaning that they get maximum time to encroach upon you with their personal space invading and stench.
So you're off, and think its all over. It isn't though, you've got to come with me to get on another bus, to do it all over again.
I do so miss my car!
Rant over.
Thursday, 26 July 2012
Rant 208 26/7/12 Subject: Running late
Rant number 208
In general I am not an organised person.
I'm not one for super tenacious tidying (although I do have a bit of an OCD thing about symmetry, I really hate it when there should be some but there isn't (like lego! never could a single circle wide block in the middle of a row of four, which always upset me)) filing, lining up (although it does please me if I can line everything up) or super cleanliness.
One thing though, that I really like to be on time.
I like to get to work at least 10 minutes early, to gather my thoughts and have a cup of tea.
I like to get to band early enough to warm up and have a chat or whatever.
I like to get to the Cinema early to buy some excruciatingly expensive snacks or whatever.
You get the idea.
And the ying to that yang is that I absolutely hate running late.
It makes me stressed be late, so I rush. When I rush, I'm stressed. When I'm stressed I feel like rushing. The whole thing just gets worse and worse.
When they invent the time machine, I'm going to be a happy man - because that way I won't need to be late! Get me a bloody Flux Capacitor (and if you don't know what one of those is. Shame on you!)
Rant over.
In general I am not an organised person.
I'm not one for super tenacious tidying (although I do have a bit of an OCD thing about symmetry, I really hate it when there should be some but there isn't (like lego! never could a single circle wide block in the middle of a row of four, which always upset me)) filing, lining up (although it does please me if I can line everything up) or super cleanliness.
One thing though, that I really like to be on time.
I like to get to work at least 10 minutes early, to gather my thoughts and have a cup of tea.
I like to get to band early enough to warm up and have a chat or whatever.
I like to get to the Cinema early to buy some excruciatingly expensive snacks or whatever.
You get the idea.
And the ying to that yang is that I absolutely hate running late.
It makes me stressed be late, so I rush. When I rush, I'm stressed. When I'm stressed I feel like rushing. The whole thing just gets worse and worse.
When they invent the time machine, I'm going to be a happy man - because that way I won't need to be late! Get me a bloody Flux Capacitor (and if you don't know what one of those is. Shame on you!)
Rant over.
Wednesday, 25 July 2012
Rant 207 25/7/12 Subject: Battery life
Rant number 207
So as not to bore you all to death with my vehicular woes, I've decided a change of subject is due for the evening. You never know, I might be sorted out soon and I won't need to complain any more.
Not of course that I rant because I need to. Quite to the contrary, I rant because I enjoy it, I find it cleansing and because you miserable gits are big fans of schadenfreude.
So what's urking me today if not vehicular woes? Battery life.
One part of sorting things out has been a lot of e-mails, text messages and just occasionally phone calls on my phone. Usually my phone gets moderate to low use, mainly Facebook, emails and a text (or 10) or 2 a day to my wife. With that kind of usage, the battery usually lasts me all day, even if I play some games on it or whatever and still has some left at the end of the day.
Today though, I've not used it that much - but I've just had to put it on charge. The only thing that I've done out of the ordinary to be honest is speak to my mum.
This is the problem with new technology you see. Touchscreen technology, LCD's and particularly mobile phones have come on leaps and bounds in the last ten years or so, but battery technology is still pretty crude.
(I apologise for the next couple of sentences, which are a little bit nerdy..)
Yes we use lithium Ion batteries - which do beat Zinc carbon, Alkaline and Nickel metal hydride (what a catchy name that is, try saying it when you are drunk!) batteries hands down.
Realistically though, they still have quite a few of the same issues.
They take a fair amount of time to charge with only a limited amount of milliamp hours. They get a 'charge memory effect' which means that the battery can become conditioned to a shorter life each time you charge it. The modern equipment takes on a great deal of the power quite quickly, meaning that daily charging is a necessity.
You'd think by now, that we could create a battery that could easily take on any equipment. I have to charge my iPhone every day whereas my first mobile (my trusty Nokia 3310) needed charging around once a week!
This just go to prove that as technology goes forward, battery tech gets left further and further behind.
The only innovation I've seen in years is a 'battery' that is based upon topping up using a very small amount of pure alcohol. This would be able to power a device like an iPhone for around a week on a single application.
The problem is though, that giving people jugs of ethanol to top up their batteries is probably a little bit dangerous...
Scientist peoples - get working on it please!
Rant over.
Tuesday, 24 July 2012
Rant 206 24/7/12 Subject: Sorting out
Rant number 206
Following on from yesterday's rant. My poor car needs sorting out.
The bonnet is bent, the grill is snapped and the bumper is bent. Annoyingly though. Everything still works!
My phone and my wife's phones have been in action all day, trying to sort it. What a bloody nightmare!
The cost of the parts is likely to be two thirds of the cars worth. All in all. Things are not good.
There seems to be endless decisions an worries. God knows what I should do now.
The car is now booked into the garage for tomorrow anyway so that they can truly assess the damage. Who knows - things might not be as bad as I think.
Unlikely though.
Here is hoping that I'll be driving again soon. Who knows.
Rant over.
Following on from yesterday's rant. My poor car needs sorting out.
The bonnet is bent, the grill is snapped and the bumper is bent. Annoyingly though. Everything still works!
My phone and my wife's phones have been in action all day, trying to sort it. What a bloody nightmare!
The cost of the parts is likely to be two thirds of the cars worth. All in all. Things are not good.
There seems to be endless decisions an worries. God knows what I should do now.
The car is now booked into the garage for tomorrow anyway so that they can truly assess the damage. Who knows - things might not be as bad as I think.
Unlikely though.
Here is hoping that I'll be driving again soon. Who knows.
Rant over.
Monday, 23 July 2012
Rant 205 23/7/12 Subject: Suicidal sheep
Rant number 205
Farmers really should restrain their sheep with proper fences. Today I've hit a sheep. The poor sheep is dead, my car is mullered. There really isn't anyone winning. I'm also a bit of a wreck. The poor thing just walked out as I came round a bend. Poor thing.
I don't see myself eating lamb any time soon.
I think that just about covers it.
Rip sheep. I'm sorry.
Rant over.
Farmers really should restrain their sheep with proper fences. Today I've hit a sheep. The poor sheep is dead, my car is mullered. There really isn't anyone winning. I'm also a bit of a wreck. The poor thing just walked out as I came round a bend. Poor thing.
I don't see myself eating lamb any time soon.
I think that just about covers it.
Rip sheep. I'm sorry.
Rant over.
Sunday, 22 July 2012
Rant 204 22/7/12 Subject: Sunday drivers
Rant number 204
To me, sundays are a day of rest. I like to relax, spend time with my wife, occasionally do a band job - that kind of thing.
What I try and avoid doing on a Sunday however, is drive anywhere unless I need to.
Unfortunately however, some people do quite the opposite.
I stayed over at my wife's parents yesterday though, so I had to drive back this afternoon.
We needed to get some stuff from our local farm shop, so we took a bit of a detour through the back-roads and over the tops.
Which was my fatal mistake.
Because every bloody sunday driver had decided to go for a nice relaxing drive through the back-roads and over the tops.
I hate bloody sunday drivers. People who just take the car out for recreation, at weekends. Oft times, they have bugger all to do all week - just to really add insult to injury.
I really don't mind anyone driving on the roads, however much they do it. Sunday drivers however are allergic to speed limits - or even speeds approaching them. They take corners at frighteningly slow speeds (I genuinely thought I was going to stop completely today!) they brake for absolutely no conceivable reasons. It drives me mad!
Either it would make sense for them to drive like normal people, or give it up for a bad job!
Bloody sunday drivers!
Rant over.
To me, sundays are a day of rest. I like to relax, spend time with my wife, occasionally do a band job - that kind of thing.
What I try and avoid doing on a Sunday however, is drive anywhere unless I need to.
Unfortunately however, some people do quite the opposite.
I stayed over at my wife's parents yesterday though, so I had to drive back this afternoon.
We needed to get some stuff from our local farm shop, so we took a bit of a detour through the back-roads and over the tops.
Which was my fatal mistake.
Because every bloody sunday driver had decided to go for a nice relaxing drive through the back-roads and over the tops.
I hate bloody sunday drivers. People who just take the car out for recreation, at weekends. Oft times, they have bugger all to do all week - just to really add insult to injury.
I really don't mind anyone driving on the roads, however much they do it. Sunday drivers however are allergic to speed limits - or even speeds approaching them. They take corners at frighteningly slow speeds (I genuinely thought I was going to stop completely today!) they brake for absolutely no conceivable reasons. It drives me mad!
Either it would make sense for them to drive like normal people, or give it up for a bad job!
Bloody sunday drivers!
Rant over.
Saturday, 21 July 2012
Rant 203 21/7/12 Subject: Evil shoes
Rant number 203
You wear them over stockinged feet
You polish them to make them neat
They keep your feet from being blistered
And hide them if your feet are whiskered
(Apologies, I came over all poetic then!)
Shoes then. They're an essential part of your life as soon as you can walk. There are different types of shoes to help you walk, run, construct, destruct, tap, slide and make you taller. They come in all colors of the rainbow and can make or break an outfit.
Women are generally mad about shoes. They need as many shoes as you need gadgets (and often spend the same amount on them) and they like to have shoes for every outfit. They also like brands of shoes and of course tall shoes to make them taller and flat shoes for when they don't need to.
Men don't tend to need so many pairs of shoes. Mostly a combo of trainers, work shoes and special shoes is plenty. That's what I've got anyway
Today was a band job, so out came my special shoes. They are black, very shiny, very smart and about as comfortable as wearing a porcupine for a hat. And that is the problem with smart shoes.
Both womens heels and men's smart shoes seem to have been designed by the marquis de saad. Women, balance on a small point while it feels like you are constantly on a slope.
Men, squeeze your feet into shoes that disappear beyond your toes but are still painfully tight
You see, my shoes are shoes to be seen in, not to walk in, which kind of defies the point. I had to walk about an hour each way to the gig and I feel like I've been walking over hot coals and broken glass!
Why do we do this to ourselves! It's madness I tell you. Why can't they make super smart shoes that have some modicum of cushioning in the sole?
It's bloody irritating!
Rant over
You wear them over stockinged feet
You polish them to make them neat
They keep your feet from being blistered
And hide them if your feet are whiskered
(Apologies, I came over all poetic then!)
Shoes then. They're an essential part of your life as soon as you can walk. There are different types of shoes to help you walk, run, construct, destruct, tap, slide and make you taller. They come in all colors of the rainbow and can make or break an outfit.
Women are generally mad about shoes. They need as many shoes as you need gadgets (and often spend the same amount on them) and they like to have shoes for every outfit. They also like brands of shoes and of course tall shoes to make them taller and flat shoes for when they don't need to.
Men don't tend to need so many pairs of shoes. Mostly a combo of trainers, work shoes and special shoes is plenty. That's what I've got anyway
Today was a band job, so out came my special shoes. They are black, very shiny, very smart and about as comfortable as wearing a porcupine for a hat. And that is the problem with smart shoes.
Both womens heels and men's smart shoes seem to have been designed by the marquis de saad. Women, balance on a small point while it feels like you are constantly on a slope.
Men, squeeze your feet into shoes that disappear beyond your toes but are still painfully tight
You see, my shoes are shoes to be seen in, not to walk in, which kind of defies the point. I had to walk about an hour each way to the gig and I feel like I've been walking over hot coals and broken glass!
Why do we do this to ourselves! It's madness I tell you. Why can't they make super smart shoes that have some modicum of cushioning in the sole?
It's bloody irritating!
Rant over
Friday, 20 July 2012
Rant 202 20/7/12 Subject: Senseless killings
Rant number 202
Yesterday in Denver, there was a premier for the movie that everyone wants to see.
The Dark Knight - the closing chapter of Christopher Nolan's fantastic Batman trilogy has been shown at premiers all around the world - just ahead of its official release today. This morning then, dedicated fans from around the area got together to enjoy the escapism - and be the first to get to see it.
There is nothing particularly exceptional about those people. They wanted to see a movie so bad that they were willing to stay up all night for it, but otherwise they were just normal until yesterday, when 12 of them were shot dead and 59 injured by some empty idiot.
The lad's name is James Holmes and as of yet, no reasons have been given for what he has done. He did however plan what he did - as he's booby-trapped his house to make sure that his dirty secrets are hard to unearth.
This isn't the first time that this kind of thing has happened in America, and unfortunately it seems it may not be the last. You see, gun's are too easy to obtain, and they really need to change things so that they are harder to get. In Colorado, you can keep a gun at home, in your car or at work, you can have as many guns as you want over the counter - even automatics! You don't even have to wait for a gun if you have a clean criminal record.
It's just unhealthy.
Guns are meant to hurt people, badly, permanently. Often fatally. You don't need one to protect you, unless the people attacking you have guns too - and that's the problem isn't it. If you can get one as a normal citizen, you can get one as a bonkers criminal too.
This shooting is around 20miles from Colombine. A place where an equally (if not more so) horrific shooting took place back in 2004. You'd think that a tragedy of that magnitude would teach people a lesson.
But the gun nuts won't have it that ready availability of guns contributes to this sort of thing. It's constitutional...
People who do these things are sick. They make me sick thats for sure. Terrorism in any form is disgusting and this kind of petit terrorism really is the worst.
I hope that they save a really special corner of hell for people who treat their fellow man with such contempt.
Rant over.
Yesterday in Denver, there was a premier for the movie that everyone wants to see.
The Dark Knight - the closing chapter of Christopher Nolan's fantastic Batman trilogy has been shown at premiers all around the world - just ahead of its official release today. This morning then, dedicated fans from around the area got together to enjoy the escapism - and be the first to get to see it.
There is nothing particularly exceptional about those people. They wanted to see a movie so bad that they were willing to stay up all night for it, but otherwise they were just normal until yesterday, when 12 of them were shot dead and 59 injured by some empty idiot.
The lad's name is James Holmes and as of yet, no reasons have been given for what he has done. He did however plan what he did - as he's booby-trapped his house to make sure that his dirty secrets are hard to unearth.
This isn't the first time that this kind of thing has happened in America, and unfortunately it seems it may not be the last. You see, gun's are too easy to obtain, and they really need to change things so that they are harder to get. In Colorado, you can keep a gun at home, in your car or at work, you can have as many guns as you want over the counter - even automatics! You don't even have to wait for a gun if you have a clean criminal record.
It's just unhealthy.
Guns are meant to hurt people, badly, permanently. Often fatally. You don't need one to protect you, unless the people attacking you have guns too - and that's the problem isn't it. If you can get one as a normal citizen, you can get one as a bonkers criminal too.
This shooting is around 20miles from Colombine. A place where an equally (if not more so) horrific shooting took place back in 2004. You'd think that a tragedy of that magnitude would teach people a lesson.
But the gun nuts won't have it that ready availability of guns contributes to this sort of thing. It's constitutional...
People who do these things are sick. They make me sick thats for sure. Terrorism in any form is disgusting and this kind of petit terrorism really is the worst.
I hope that they save a really special corner of hell for people who treat their fellow man with such contempt.
Rant over.
Thursday, 19 July 2012
Rant 201 19/7/12 Subject: IFPI vs Google
Rant number 201
The internet is a bloody incredible thing really. You can't argue with it can you? It's changed everyones lives. It's integral to business, its integral to entertainment, its integral to socialising, its pretty integral to our lives these days.
It has many facets which are good. You can socialise in a new way. You can find old friends, new friends. You can find love. Discover music. Watch films.
But with that comes the bad.
The internet is like some huge tentacled Cthulhu. Many limbed and inconceivably huge. That means that there is far too much content out there to ever police it properly and many many dark dark crevices to hide in.
Look hard enough on the internet and you can probably find pretty much anything content wise. You can steal. You can fake. You can stalk or abuse.
There is a ying for every yang.
Which is the problem with what is going on at the moment.
In the Red corner we have the IFPI (International Federation of the Phonographic Industry) who are the guys who want to keep their industry safe, their clients properly safe and of course their own jobs and industry safe.
In the Blue corner we have Google who are of course the most powerful internet company of all.
Essentially IFPI want Google to doctor their search results - so that legal websites fall higher in the listings.
A reasonable request in principle, but not necessarily a fair one.
Google you see, try to be impartial. They don't stop people searching for what they want to (unless otherwise instructed by the country of origin.) They don't doctor the search for any reasons more political than cash. They use an algorithm based upon various parameters such as popularity and optimisation.
The IFPI have told them they should 'alter the algorithm' to suit one particular end, which seems wrong to me. Noble or otherwise - it seems a slippery slope to be getting on. Once they have won one battle - the precedent is set for any company or organisations to try and clip the wings of Google as they see if.
And I plain don't like that.
Not of course that they will ask us.
Rant over.
The internet is a bloody incredible thing really. You can't argue with it can you? It's changed everyones lives. It's integral to business, its integral to entertainment, its integral to socialising, its pretty integral to our lives these days.
It has many facets which are good. You can socialise in a new way. You can find old friends, new friends. You can find love. Discover music. Watch films.
But with that comes the bad.
The internet is like some huge tentacled Cthulhu. Many limbed and inconceivably huge. That means that there is far too much content out there to ever police it properly and many many dark dark crevices to hide in.
Look hard enough on the internet and you can probably find pretty much anything content wise. You can steal. You can fake. You can stalk or abuse.
There is a ying for every yang.
Which is the problem with what is going on at the moment.
In the Red corner we have the IFPI (International Federation of the Phonographic Industry) who are the guys who want to keep their industry safe, their clients properly safe and of course their own jobs and industry safe.
In the Blue corner we have Google who are of course the most powerful internet company of all.
Essentially IFPI want Google to doctor their search results - so that legal websites fall higher in the listings.
A reasonable request in principle, but not necessarily a fair one.
Google you see, try to be impartial. They don't stop people searching for what they want to (unless otherwise instructed by the country of origin.) They don't doctor the search for any reasons more political than cash. They use an algorithm based upon various parameters such as popularity and optimisation.
The IFPI have told them they should 'alter the algorithm' to suit one particular end, which seems wrong to me. Noble or otherwise - it seems a slippery slope to be getting on. Once they have won one battle - the precedent is set for any company or organisations to try and clip the wings of Google as they see if.
And I plain don't like that.
Not of course that they will ask us.
Rant over.
Wednesday, 18 July 2012
Rant 200 18/7/12 Subject: Sunny moments
Rant number 200
It may have escaped your notice boys and girls, but believe it or not - its summer. I'm not lying, really. Summer is around here somewhere. It just happens to be hidden underneath the cloud, the rain, the thunder and the hailstones.
It's been a bit of a wash out so far. In fact - its been a lot of a washout so far. We had a few early days that were stupendous - like, wonderful! Sun was soaked up, barbecues went through the roof (not literally, I mean figuratively. You shouldn't put a barbecue through your roof, either from above or below. It does no good to your barbecue whatsoever, and tends to leave a hole in the roof as well. I mean, if you want to - you can, I'm not ordering you. It's just a suggestion... If you do decide to do it though, send me a picture!) and everyone felt really happy.
The sun lasted just over a week. Then the sun went off on his holidays, leaving his slightly irritating brother 'rain cloud' in his place. Unfortunately though, he's been delayed in coming back.
Now, we've all been on holiday and we know that delays can happen. Your flight can be cancelled, there can be adverse weather conditions (less likely if you are the sun, granted,) there can be volcanic ash to contend with and of course, other things can happen to delay your return.
It wasn't any of that though. The sun has been locked up for several weeks, for streaking at a tennis match.
Childish - but true.
Today though, something strange happened. Not did the cloud clear a little, revealing just the teeniest bit of blue sky - but the sun came out. I'd forgotten completely what it was like almost.
It was just lovely in a way, except: now I want more sun!
I'm not a sun worshipper in any way. I don't sit and sunbathe all day. I do however, just want to feel the warmth and the light again.
Is that too much to ask for?
Rant over.
It may have escaped your notice boys and girls, but believe it or not - its summer. I'm not lying, really. Summer is around here somewhere. It just happens to be hidden underneath the cloud, the rain, the thunder and the hailstones.
It's been a bit of a wash out so far. In fact - its been a lot of a washout so far. We had a few early days that were stupendous - like, wonderful! Sun was soaked up, barbecues went through the roof (not literally, I mean figuratively. You shouldn't put a barbecue through your roof, either from above or below. It does no good to your barbecue whatsoever, and tends to leave a hole in the roof as well. I mean, if you want to - you can, I'm not ordering you. It's just a suggestion... If you do decide to do it though, send me a picture!) and everyone felt really happy.
The sun lasted just over a week. Then the sun went off on his holidays, leaving his slightly irritating brother 'rain cloud' in his place. Unfortunately though, he's been delayed in coming back.
Now, we've all been on holiday and we know that delays can happen. Your flight can be cancelled, there can be adverse weather conditions (less likely if you are the sun, granted,) there can be volcanic ash to contend with and of course, other things can happen to delay your return.
It wasn't any of that though. The sun has been locked up for several weeks, for streaking at a tennis match.
Childish - but true.
Today though, something strange happened. Not did the cloud clear a little, revealing just the teeniest bit of blue sky - but the sun came out. I'd forgotten completely what it was like almost.
It was just lovely in a way, except: now I want more sun!
I'm not a sun worshipper in any way. I don't sit and sunbathe all day. I do however, just want to feel the warmth and the light again.
Is that too much to ask for?
Rant over.
Tuesday, 17 July 2012
Rant 199 17/7/12 Subject: Twitter trolls
Rant number 199
Cor blimey. Two hundred rants! That really is quite a few isn't it - well past the tipping point now!
Anyway... on with the rant.
I have, after some fair amount of kicking and screaming and the like - finally given in and started to begrudgingly like twitter.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not into all of it. I'm not really into the trends, the hashtags sometimes confuses me and the character limit does bug me. None the less - I'm getting there.
I do however, have some grips about the 'following' culture.
I'm happy to be followed by anyone who wants to follow me properly. You are more than welcome!
My twitter handle is @trums365rants. On there I will keep you abreast of new rants - and will also muse about various other annoyances from time to time.
What I'm not so sure about, is when random idiots follow me - obviously in the vain hope of reciprocation on my part.
Today's offering was 'Sharon Willis'. No I'm not going to hold back on naming and shaming. In fact. I would consider it a personal favour if you would like to send the irritating troll some abuse.
Her twitter account is @sharonwillis61.
Sharon follows 1,994 people and has 1,680 following her - mostly by accident or by polite reciprocation I feel, because - from scanning a single page of her tweets, she has absolutely fuck all to say for herself. She is instead a recycler of other peoples content. Ipso facto - the worst type of boring twitter troll of all.
What's even better is her little tagline. You're are going to enjoy this one...
She is, by all accounts 'Reaching out to fellow Christians to share the kind words of the Lord.'
Admirable though that may be, her attempt at reaching out by trying to get any random person to follow her and filling her feed with shite is a little misguided.
Just in case you had forgotten about the abuse - @sharonwillis61 - go on, you know you want to.
She is (if it really is a she, for it is more likely some pointless botnet, specifically designed to spread shit, but I digress) of course far from alone. There are loads of idiots on Twitter who want to get your precious followings and will follow you just to get you on their side.
Don't play their games!
Rant over.
Cor blimey. Two hundred rants! That really is quite a few isn't it - well past the tipping point now!
Anyway... on with the rant.
I have, after some fair amount of kicking and screaming and the like - finally given in and started to begrudgingly like twitter.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not into all of it. I'm not really into the trends, the hashtags sometimes confuses me and the character limit does bug me. None the less - I'm getting there.
I do however, have some grips about the 'following' culture.
I'm happy to be followed by anyone who wants to follow me properly. You are more than welcome!
My twitter handle is @trums365rants. On there I will keep you abreast of new rants - and will also muse about various other annoyances from time to time.
What I'm not so sure about, is when random idiots follow me - obviously in the vain hope of reciprocation on my part.
Today's offering was 'Sharon Willis'. No I'm not going to hold back on naming and shaming. In fact. I would consider it a personal favour if you would like to send the irritating troll some abuse.
Her twitter account is @sharonwillis61.
Sharon follows 1,994 people and has 1,680 following her - mostly by accident or by polite reciprocation I feel, because - from scanning a single page of her tweets, she has absolutely fuck all to say for herself. She is instead a recycler of other peoples content. Ipso facto - the worst type of boring twitter troll of all.
What's even better is her little tagline. You're are going to enjoy this one...
She is, by all accounts 'Reaching out to fellow Christians to share the kind words of the Lord.'
Admirable though that may be, her attempt at reaching out by trying to get any random person to follow her and filling her feed with shite is a little misguided.
Just in case you had forgotten about the abuse - @sharonwillis61 - go on, you know you want to.
She is (if it really is a she, for it is more likely some pointless botnet, specifically designed to spread shit, but I digress) of course far from alone. There are loads of idiots on Twitter who want to get your precious followings and will follow you just to get you on their side.
Don't play their games!
Rant over.
Monday, 16 July 2012
Rant 198 16/7/12 Subject: Petrol Gremlins
Rant number 198
Today, I had a bit of a senior moment. This is not an uncommon thing for me really. Today however, I managed to almost scupper myself.
This morning, I thought to myself 'I must fill up my tank when I get home from work.' I then promptly forgot to fill up, went home and ate soup.
I remembered though, when my fuel light popped up - just as I was joining the motorway.
Now, this was nothing much to panic about. I was actually only going about 17 miles - and I'm sure even from the red light point, I've probably got enough for quite a bit more than that.
If I'm moving along nicely that is.
Sod's law then attacked once again - and quarter of a mile passed before - low and behold, I met a wall of traffic.
Squeaky bum time indeed.
Luckily, I got to a petrol station in time - but not after some slight stress and tension.
Now, there can conceivably only be two causes for these unfortunate events.
1) I had a bit of a blonde moment, followed by another blonde moment, followed by some bad luck.
2) I was haunted by some irritating Petrol Gremlins who were deliberately messing with me.
I think we can all agree - that it's not 1.
Petrol Gremlins creep into your car, up through your engine, into the air vents and then into you brain - to make you do stupid things.
They make you forget to fill up your tank & drink your petrol when you are feeling forgetful. They even mess with traffic - just to make things worse.
Bloody Gremlins!
Rant over.
Today, I had a bit of a senior moment. This is not an uncommon thing for me really. Today however, I managed to almost scupper myself.
This morning, I thought to myself 'I must fill up my tank when I get home from work.' I then promptly forgot to fill up, went home and ate soup.
I remembered though, when my fuel light popped up - just as I was joining the motorway.
Now, this was nothing much to panic about. I was actually only going about 17 miles - and I'm sure even from the red light point, I've probably got enough for quite a bit more than that.
If I'm moving along nicely that is.
Sod's law then attacked once again - and quarter of a mile passed before - low and behold, I met a wall of traffic.
Squeaky bum time indeed.
Luckily, I got to a petrol station in time - but not after some slight stress and tension.
Now, there can conceivably only be two causes for these unfortunate events.
1) I had a bit of a blonde moment, followed by another blonde moment, followed by some bad luck.
2) I was haunted by some irritating Petrol Gremlins who were deliberately messing with me.
I think we can all agree - that it's not 1.
Petrol Gremlins creep into your car, up through your engine, into the air vents and then into you brain - to make you do stupid things.
They make you forget to fill up your tank & drink your petrol when you are feeling forgetful. They even mess with traffic - just to make things worse.
Bloody Gremlins!
Rant over.
Sunday, 15 July 2012
Rant 197 15/7/12 Subject: Nothing on
Rant number 197
As of around Thursday evening, I've had a bit of a cold that's been trying to attack. Now, that is bloody irritating - but I've already covered man flu.
Yesterday was spent at Huddersfield carnival (in which I gladly was not a participant!) and so today was set aside as a day of rest.
I quite like days when there is no itinerary involved. We can lounge around on the sofa, have leisurely lunch - with the odd snack, and watch some TV.
This plan was scuppered however by the fact that there has been bugger all on day, with the notable exception of some Columbo - for whom I have much time.
I'm not actually one to concentrate on the TV usually anyway. I'm always doing something else: playing on my phone or my laptop or doodling or something. None the less, I would still like my background noise to not be vapid crap.
There is an old line about 'all these channels but nothing on' and its so very true. When there were only 4 channels, there was often nothing on, but there was only a small chance that something would be watchable.
Now though, there is loads of channels (at least 60 on freeview) and yet still nothing is watchable.
And if there is something watchable - just to add insult to injury, there is also something else on you want to watch. It's like some kind of irritating conspiracy!
So much for a relaxed TV day.
Rant over.
As of around Thursday evening, I've had a bit of a cold that's been trying to attack. Now, that is bloody irritating - but I've already covered man flu.
Yesterday was spent at Huddersfield carnival (in which I gladly was not a participant!) and so today was set aside as a day of rest.
I quite like days when there is no itinerary involved. We can lounge around on the sofa, have leisurely lunch - with the odd snack, and watch some TV.
This plan was scuppered however by the fact that there has been bugger all on day, with the notable exception of some Columbo - for whom I have much time.
I'm not actually one to concentrate on the TV usually anyway. I'm always doing something else: playing on my phone or my laptop or doodling or something. None the less, I would still like my background noise to not be vapid crap.
There is an old line about 'all these channels but nothing on' and its so very true. When there were only 4 channels, there was often nothing on, but there was only a small chance that something would be watchable.
Now though, there is loads of channels (at least 60 on freeview) and yet still nothing is watchable.
And if there is something watchable - just to add insult to injury, there is also something else on you want to watch. It's like some kind of irritating conspiracy!
So much for a relaxed TV day.
Rant over.
Saturday, 14 July 2012
Rant 196 14/7/12 Subject: The Official Olympic Partners
Rant number 196
Today, within the space of a single add break, 2 separate companies declared themselves as official olympic sponsors.
Firstly, Fedex declared themselves to be 'the official olympic logistics partner, then - I shit you not - nature valley declared themselves as the official olympic cereal bar.
I really cannot describe how incredibly and awfully annoyed the latter statement makes me.
The olympics is about money and it has been from the start I suppose. We don't want it just because we can. We want it because it should net us a hefty amount of cash with any luck.
Part of this I suppose, does involve using sponsors and partners, in order to cut down the outlay from the countries coffers.
Now that's great and all, but do they need to go on about it so bloody much. I don't care if you are a partner or not, it's going to net you some fair amount of money.
For the companies that have taken part, it should be a great privilege to be chosen. It shouldn't be used as some kind of cheap advertising activity.
Also, the whole logic is flawed.
Just because you are involved, you can't say that you are the very best in your field. The logic of that is plain crap. Everyone knows that these companies will have paid heartily in one way or another, to have been able to be involved. They didn't get chosen for being the best. They got chosen because they offered either a fair donation or because they offered their services at a rock bottom cost.
None the less, to get on the bandwagon: You can now call this the olympic partner blog.
Rant over.
Today, within the space of a single add break, 2 separate companies declared themselves as official olympic sponsors.
Firstly, Fedex declared themselves to be 'the official olympic logistics partner, then - I shit you not - nature valley declared themselves as the official olympic cereal bar.
I really cannot describe how incredibly and awfully annoyed the latter statement makes me.
The olympics is about money and it has been from the start I suppose. We don't want it just because we can. We want it because it should net us a hefty amount of cash with any luck.
Part of this I suppose, does involve using sponsors and partners, in order to cut down the outlay from the countries coffers.
Now that's great and all, but do they need to go on about it so bloody much. I don't care if you are a partner or not, it's going to net you some fair amount of money.
For the companies that have taken part, it should be a great privilege to be chosen. It shouldn't be used as some kind of cheap advertising activity.
Also, the whole logic is flawed.
Just because you are involved, you can't say that you are the very best in your field. The logic of that is plain crap. Everyone knows that these companies will have paid heartily in one way or another, to have been able to be involved. They didn't get chosen for being the best. They got chosen because they offered either a fair donation or because they offered their services at a rock bottom cost.
None the less, to get on the bandwagon: You can now call this the olympic partner blog.
Rant over.
Friday, 13 July 2012
Rant 195 13/7/12 Subject: The Passive Aggressive
Rant number 195
It may come to a bit of a surprise to some of you, but I'm actually quite an angry guy. I'm passionate and I do show my emotions right out there where they can be seen.
Not many people are 196 rants into a 366 day long rant based quest after all...
I can't say that this has made me a less angry person, but the experience can be quite cleansing after a hard day.
Anger is one of our unavoidable core emotions, and anyone who doesn't get angry is just bottling it away somewhere unhealthy.
If it's the difference between me bellowing every now and then and me going postal, I'll carry on bellowing.
Thus, being passive aggressive is just plain unhealthy.
Every day I speak to people like that in various different situations.
People who never shout, but will insult you with a smile on your face - because they think you won't understand. People who will speed up as you pass them on the motorway - because you have dared to pass them. People who must be at the front of the queue for the bus, even if it means standing on everyone else to get there and when there are plenty of seats.
Parking in my parking space - thats right bitch who does't even live in my building - YOU! (See http://trums365rants.blogspot.co.uk/2012/01/rant-9-9112-subject-people-who-park-in.html for more details.)
If these people just shouted from time to time and expressed their angry properly, they wouldn't feel the need to niggle and irritate the rest of us. Just because you can't just let it out from time to time in order to get rid of their pent up aggressive tendencies.
If you are feeling passive aggressive, get angry for the love of god. Then you can stop being a dick and you will feel much better!
Rant over.
It may come to a bit of a surprise to some of you, but I'm actually quite an angry guy. I'm passionate and I do show my emotions right out there where they can be seen.
Not many people are 196 rants into a 366 day long rant based quest after all...
I can't say that this has made me a less angry person, but the experience can be quite cleansing after a hard day.
Anger is one of our unavoidable core emotions, and anyone who doesn't get angry is just bottling it away somewhere unhealthy.
If it's the difference between me bellowing every now and then and me going postal, I'll carry on bellowing.
Thus, being passive aggressive is just plain unhealthy.
Every day I speak to people like that in various different situations.
People who never shout, but will insult you with a smile on your face - because they think you won't understand. People who will speed up as you pass them on the motorway - because you have dared to pass them. People who must be at the front of the queue for the bus, even if it means standing on everyone else to get there and when there are plenty of seats.
Parking in my parking space - thats right bitch who does't even live in my building - YOU! (See http://trums365rants.blogspot.co.uk/2012/01/rant-9-9112-subject-people-who-park-in.html for more details.)
If these people just shouted from time to time and expressed their angry properly, they wouldn't feel the need to niggle and irritate the rest of us. Just because you can't just let it out from time to time in order to get rid of their pent up aggressive tendencies.
If you are feeling passive aggressive, get angry for the love of god. Then you can stop being a dick and you will feel much better!
Rant over.
Thursday, 12 July 2012
Rant 194 12/7/12 Subject: The house of 'Lords'
Rant number 194
This week, the conservatives managed to kill off one of the only Lib Dem policies. Lets face it, the Lib Dems have been the bitches of the coalition from the start, and at each and every turn their policies have been vetoed by the Tories.
That I voted for the Lib-Dems was merely a sign that I hated the Labour party and the Tories more, so don't get me wrong. Many of their policies are just as terrible and self serving.
Rather irritatingly though, I actually wholeheartedly agreed with this one.
The policy concerned increasing the amount of voted representatives in the House of Lords - and decreasing the amount of Hereditary Peers. I only have one problem with this policy - which is that it doesn't go far enough in my opinion.
Now, I may be naive - but personally I think that the House of Lords is an affront to democracy. We vote for our government (as best as we can,) we vote for our council but we don't vote for the Lords. The Lords seats are passed down from father to son.
Fucking great.
You take an overprivileged, out of touch, underworked, interbred overpaid upper class idiot. Give him a seat in the Lords and let him serve him and his.
Then, when he is too fat and old to continue. They give it to his son.
Now, this to me lacks quite a lot of logic. I can play trombone pretty well, fix computer problems, repair bicycles and build websites. None of these things are unique, but they are all skills that I have had to accumulate over time and work on. They aren't in my blood.
So there is no guarantee that my son would be able to play trombone, or fix computers, or repair bikes, or build websites. He's my son, not my clone!
So why are the Lords able to put their bloody overprivileged spawnlings in their seats.
I really hope that the bill to reform the Lords system goes through. It would be really nice if they had to work hard to get their highly paid, powerful jobs.
Lets oust the rotten core of our society!
Rant over.
This week, the conservatives managed to kill off one of the only Lib Dem policies. Lets face it, the Lib Dems have been the bitches of the coalition from the start, and at each and every turn their policies have been vetoed by the Tories.
That I voted for the Lib-Dems was merely a sign that I hated the Labour party and the Tories more, so don't get me wrong. Many of their policies are just as terrible and self serving.
Rather irritatingly though, I actually wholeheartedly agreed with this one.
The policy concerned increasing the amount of voted representatives in the House of Lords - and decreasing the amount of Hereditary Peers. I only have one problem with this policy - which is that it doesn't go far enough in my opinion.
Now, I may be naive - but personally I think that the House of Lords is an affront to democracy. We vote for our government (as best as we can,) we vote for our council but we don't vote for the Lords. The Lords seats are passed down from father to son.
Fucking great.
You take an overprivileged, out of touch, underworked, interbred overpaid upper class idiot. Give him a seat in the Lords and let him serve him and his.
Then, when he is too fat and old to continue. They give it to his son.
Now, this to me lacks quite a lot of logic. I can play trombone pretty well, fix computer problems, repair bicycles and build websites. None of these things are unique, but they are all skills that I have had to accumulate over time and work on. They aren't in my blood.
So there is no guarantee that my son would be able to play trombone, or fix computers, or repair bikes, or build websites. He's my son, not my clone!
So why are the Lords able to put their bloody overprivileged spawnlings in their seats.
I really hope that the bill to reform the Lords system goes through. It would be really nice if they had to work hard to get their highly paid, powerful jobs.
Lets oust the rotten core of our society!
Rant over.
Wednesday, 11 July 2012
Rant 193 11/7/12 Subject: Fake Tan
Rant number 193
''Oompah, Oompah, Oopedy Doo
I've got a real pet hate for you
Oompah, Oompah, Oopedy Dee
If you spray fake tan, you'll look real silly.'
Your skin tone is something its not easy to change. Certainly not in country where the sun is in most short supply. Getting a tan involves spending large periods of time in the sun, which for most of us is not easy to do.
As such, many of us walk round with our natural skin tones - and personally I don't see what the hell is wrong with that. Yes I am as pale as a bleached polar bear - but that's part of my make-up. My family are reasonably pale too, so it's to be expected.
Put it this way, I came back from a fortnight in Athens with little more than an off-white pair of forearms and lower legs. Tanning is not an option for me.
This applies also to my wife. She is fair haired, pale skinned - and burns (I blame her Scottish lineage!) then fades before she tans.
Tanning then, is not an option for me - and frankly who gives a shit.
I look like I do, a darker skin tone isn't going to make me look any better. It could however look far worse.
Which - brings me to my point.
Many others too cannot tan, but are a little less gracious about it.
Fake tan then. Brown stuff in a bottle or spray that will give you a 'sun blushed' look. Sales patter that for 'we can make you look orange'
Fake tan is almost always so obvious it's genuinely pathetic. People tan the palms of their hands (not something we naturally do) or leave lines and streaks, or turn themselves the colour of a Caramac (horrible chocolate bar, for those not familiar.)
Then there is the so called 'tanarexia' effect. People who get used to their Caramac colour, then decide its too light, slapping more fake tan on. This ends up with the oompah loompah look that is so flattering upon slightly overweight, over made-up lasses in every night club.
The funny thing is, that it's not even cheap. Some of it costs a bloody fortune, looks rubbish and is only temporary. Why bother? If you aren't made to tan, your hair colour and eye colour probably don't fit with the look. Thus, the whole thing follows on; fake hair, fake nails, fake eye colour contacts = look like a bit of a big fat, over made-up oomph loompah slag.
Stand up for your own skin colour people! It's your colour, you are unique. You can't buy unique in a bottle.
Rant over.
Tuesday, 10 July 2012
Rant 192 10/7/12 Subject: Companies that don't want to talk to you
Rant number 192
The telephone is part of the modern world. Changes are you've got one on you right now, either in your pocket, in your hand (probably while you are reading this) or within a 2 metre radius of you on your desk, sofa or coffee table.
For all that psychologists have for have for years spoken about non verbal communication, we have pretty much got to the point where its a luxury to be in the same postcode as someone else during a conversation.
To paraphrase, we talk a lot - and mostly we talk on the phone.
It's good to talk, or some bullshit like that.
As well as recreation and family stuff, we also need to talk to people we are buying from, selling to etc etc.
And sometimes that falls down badly.
You see, talking to people who don't want to talk to you is difficult. If you call me for instance, and I don't fancy talking to you, you can leave a message for me or send a text - it's easy enough.
If you want to talk to a big firm however, they will do anything they can to stop you taking up their valuable time.
First of all, they will put you through an appallingly long winded and complicated auto-attendant.
Should you pass this hurdle, they will then try and tell you the website can fix your problem (and if it could, you wouldn't have bothered fucking phoning, would you?,) then it'll tell you about the call being recorded, and costing you £12 per minute - and anything else they can think of to put you off holding on.
Finally, you will put on hold for around 45 minutes - to finally find that the person on the end of the phone can't help you anyway.
Phones are a bloody nightmare!
Rant over.
The telephone is part of the modern world. Changes are you've got one on you right now, either in your pocket, in your hand (probably while you are reading this) or within a 2 metre radius of you on your desk, sofa or coffee table.
For all that psychologists have for have for years spoken about non verbal communication, we have pretty much got to the point where its a luxury to be in the same postcode as someone else during a conversation.
To paraphrase, we talk a lot - and mostly we talk on the phone.
It's good to talk, or some bullshit like that.
As well as recreation and family stuff, we also need to talk to people we are buying from, selling to etc etc.
And sometimes that falls down badly.
You see, talking to people who don't want to talk to you is difficult. If you call me for instance, and I don't fancy talking to you, you can leave a message for me or send a text - it's easy enough.
If you want to talk to a big firm however, they will do anything they can to stop you taking up their valuable time.
First of all, they will put you through an appallingly long winded and complicated auto-attendant.
Should you pass this hurdle, they will then try and tell you the website can fix your problem (and if it could, you wouldn't have bothered fucking phoning, would you?,) then it'll tell you about the call being recorded, and costing you £12 per minute - and anything else they can think of to put you off holding on.
Finally, you will put on hold for around 45 minutes - to finally find that the person on the end of the phone can't help you anyway.
Phones are a bloody nightmare!
Rant over.
Monday, 9 July 2012
Rant 191 9/7/12 Subject: People who are too good to think
Rant number 191
The weather has been pretty bloody appalling for the last week or two. Floods and rain and fog and more rain. There has also been some torrential rain on top of everything else and there has even been some rain to top it all off.
Rain isn't something we brits are strangers too, so there isn't anything much to worry about, none the less - it can be bloody dangerous and needs to be respected. Which is what has been pissing me off today.
When visibility is low for instance, I turn my lights on. It might cost me a little in petrol and in bulb wear in tear, but I think it's probably worth it for people to see me.
Also, when the roads are running with water, there is spray everywhere and the flow is traffic has slowed, I don't feel the need to shoot up the right hand lane in a right rush.
Finally, I try and leave a bit of a larger gap than normal between me and the other road users due to the decreased friction and the increased stopping distances.
Now, I need to do these things because I am human, and evidently a bit of a crap driver - because quite a few people today, didn't need to do any of these things.
Obviously, the cost of bulb wear and tear was too much for them to bear, as was reducing their speed and leaving stopping distances. Getting there faster, while tailgating, while obscured by pea soup fog is important. Don't you see?
It's not them being dicks, they are fantastic drivers. It's the rest of us being pansies - by thinking about others and about our own safety, because we are not as good as them.
Or - and this is just a theory: they are pig ignorant, reckless, unobservant, blaze, arrogant, dangerous and just plain stupid.
Just a theory mind.
Rant over.
The weather has been pretty bloody appalling for the last week or two. Floods and rain and fog and more rain. There has also been some torrential rain on top of everything else and there has even been some rain to top it all off.
Rain isn't something we brits are strangers too, so there isn't anything much to worry about, none the less - it can be bloody dangerous and needs to be respected. Which is what has been pissing me off today.
When visibility is low for instance, I turn my lights on. It might cost me a little in petrol and in bulb wear in tear, but I think it's probably worth it for people to see me.
Also, when the roads are running with water, there is spray everywhere and the flow is traffic has slowed, I don't feel the need to shoot up the right hand lane in a right rush.
Finally, I try and leave a bit of a larger gap than normal between me and the other road users due to the decreased friction and the increased stopping distances.
Now, I need to do these things because I am human, and evidently a bit of a crap driver - because quite a few people today, didn't need to do any of these things.
Obviously, the cost of bulb wear and tear was too much for them to bear, as was reducing their speed and leaving stopping distances. Getting there faster, while tailgating, while obscured by pea soup fog is important. Don't you see?
It's not them being dicks, they are fantastic drivers. It's the rest of us being pansies - by thinking about others and about our own safety, because we are not as good as them.
Or - and this is just a theory: they are pig ignorant, reckless, unobservant, blaze, arrogant, dangerous and just plain stupid.
Just a theory mind.
Rant over.
Sunday, 8 July 2012
Rant 190 8/7/12 Subject: The way we brits support(or don't, as the case may be)
Rant number 190
For anyone who has had their head under a rock for the duration of today, today was the Wimbledon Men's singles final. Nothing too remarkable in general, but augmented somewhat by the fact that it was the first with a Brit in it for donkeys years.
Now, I'm not really one for Tennis, it goes on for a long time, not much really happens, the commentators get far too enthusiastic about everyone and there is far too much towelling down going on (and never the ladies!)
None the less, good on Andy Murray. He's done what Brits have been trying to do for a long time without success, got to the top two. Ultimately, he didn't get the top prize, but none the less - he's done all of us proud.
Have people ever been negative about it though? I can't say that he is a guy who endears me, but bloody hell - does he give it a go. He doesn't owe anyone anything, other than him self. If he's tried hard and failed against a better opponent, there is no shame in it.
I just don't understand the attitudes being thrown about. Our football team in the Euro's were a bit crap - no other words for it. Nobody then abused them for it.
Andy comes second out of all of those people - against one of the worlds finest tennis players, and gets a bit of a stick.
Way to be supportive Britain.
I hope that it is being done - tongue in cheek only, and that everyone is doing their best to be glad for the guy. He's tried hard and he's fought hard against one of the best, no-one can really fault him for that.
Negativity is fine when its deserved. God knows I'm negative often, but I always try to be fair.
Let him enjoy the moment, god knows he's feeling bad enough about not quite hitting the top.
Rant over.
For anyone who has had their head under a rock for the duration of today, today was the Wimbledon Men's singles final. Nothing too remarkable in general, but augmented somewhat by the fact that it was the first with a Brit in it for donkeys years.
Now, I'm not really one for Tennis, it goes on for a long time, not much really happens, the commentators get far too enthusiastic about everyone and there is far too much towelling down going on (and never the ladies!)
None the less, good on Andy Murray. He's done what Brits have been trying to do for a long time without success, got to the top two. Ultimately, he didn't get the top prize, but none the less - he's done all of us proud.
Have people ever been negative about it though? I can't say that he is a guy who endears me, but bloody hell - does he give it a go. He doesn't owe anyone anything, other than him self. If he's tried hard and failed against a better opponent, there is no shame in it.
I just don't understand the attitudes being thrown about. Our football team in the Euro's were a bit crap - no other words for it. Nobody then abused them for it.
Andy comes second out of all of those people - against one of the worlds finest tennis players, and gets a bit of a stick.
Way to be supportive Britain.
I hope that it is being done - tongue in cheek only, and that everyone is doing their best to be glad for the guy. He's tried hard and he's fought hard against one of the best, no-one can really fault him for that.
Negativity is fine when its deserved. God knows I'm negative often, but I always try to be fair.
Let him enjoy the moment, god knows he's feeling bad enough about not quite hitting the top.
Rant over.
Saturday, 7 July 2012
Rant 189 7/7/12 Subject: Floods
Rant number 189
Everything tends to come to a surprise to this country. We can't deal with snow when it comes, we can't deal with the heat. One thing we think we know though, is the rain.
We get a lot of it after all. Within 365 days, we get around 364.5 days of rain. I like to think of the uk as some kind of rain reservation.
With that in mind, you would think that we could deal with the rain and it's respective consequences.
We bloody can't though.
Time and time again, the rivers burst, flooding one place or another, it really is rubbish. It costs the government, councils and individual people time and money. Flooding is shit.
Why does the rain have to get so bloody carried away? There's only a finite amount of water around, why is it in such a rush to all fall down so quickly!
It really does annoy me.
Rant over.
Everything tends to come to a surprise to this country. We can't deal with snow when it comes, we can't deal with the heat. One thing we think we know though, is the rain.
We get a lot of it after all. Within 365 days, we get around 364.5 days of rain. I like to think of the uk as some kind of rain reservation.
With that in mind, you would think that we could deal with the rain and it's respective consequences.
We bloody can't though.
Time and time again, the rivers burst, flooding one place or another, it really is rubbish. It costs the government, councils and individual people time and money. Flooding is shit.
Why does the rain have to get so bloody carried away? There's only a finite amount of water around, why is it in such a rush to all fall down so quickly!
It really does annoy me.
Rant over.
Friday, 6 July 2012
Rant 188 6/7/12 Subject: Parcel Companies
Rant number 188
The internet has done a lot to augment our lives in the modern age.
For a start, you can read fantastic blogs like mine... You can social network with your weapon of choice (Facebook/Twitter,) you can watch movies, you can read stories.
And of course, you can buy stuff.
This week alone for instance, I have bought some ingredients for something I am making for the wife, a groovy ice-cream scoop and a new air freshener for my car.
These items can of course be popped in the post.
Now for all of its disadvantages (expensive, unreliable etc) I quite like the post. You don't need to revolve your life around it. If your out, they just put it through your letter box. Also, you can be pretty sure that its going to get to you sooner or later - and generally without any action at your end.
If you buy something bigger though, things get complicated, because you need to use couriers.
Couriers really can make something simple like purchasing online a nightmare. It's a shame, but its true.
First of all, couriers will almost always give you only a time-slot of a full working day to expect your item. This means that, unless you can get the item delivered to work - you really do have to abandon a day to receiving the item.
Which is where things go wrong.
Because, Parcel companies are run by people, and so errors creep in.
If you have abandoned a day, you kind of expect your item in exchange don't you? But from my experience, there aren't any guarantees.
Recently for instance, the delivery driver ignored the outer bell - came inside the outer door and knocked. Not surprisingly - he wasn't heard - wasting my time and his! Pillock
Then there is the parcel tracking systems. You would love it to show you something handy - a map with a rough location on for instance, or an update within the local region. It's possible - and not even that technical. They hide the info from you instead, so that they can't be held accountable for their ineptitude.
Maybe they'll catch up with the modern world sooner or later. That'd be lovely.
Rant over.
The internet has done a lot to augment our lives in the modern age.
For a start, you can read fantastic blogs like mine... You can social network with your weapon of choice (Facebook/Twitter,) you can watch movies, you can read stories.
And of course, you can buy stuff.
This week alone for instance, I have bought some ingredients for something I am making for the wife, a groovy ice-cream scoop and a new air freshener for my car.
These items can of course be popped in the post.
Now for all of its disadvantages (expensive, unreliable etc) I quite like the post. You don't need to revolve your life around it. If your out, they just put it through your letter box. Also, you can be pretty sure that its going to get to you sooner or later - and generally without any action at your end.
If you buy something bigger though, things get complicated, because you need to use couriers.
Couriers really can make something simple like purchasing online a nightmare. It's a shame, but its true.
First of all, couriers will almost always give you only a time-slot of a full working day to expect your item. This means that, unless you can get the item delivered to work - you really do have to abandon a day to receiving the item.
Which is where things go wrong.
Because, Parcel companies are run by people, and so errors creep in.
If you have abandoned a day, you kind of expect your item in exchange don't you? But from my experience, there aren't any guarantees.
Recently for instance, the delivery driver ignored the outer bell - came inside the outer door and knocked. Not surprisingly - he wasn't heard - wasting my time and his! Pillock
Then there is the parcel tracking systems. You would love it to show you something handy - a map with a rough location on for instance, or an update within the local region. It's possible - and not even that technical. They hide the info from you instead, so that they can't be held accountable for their ineptitude.
Maybe they'll catch up with the modern world sooner or later. That'd be lovely.
Rant over.
Thursday, 5 July 2012
Rant 187 5/7/12 Subject: The army cuts debate
Rant number 187
Cuts are a necessity in recession, there isn't much that can be done about it.
We've cut various services, the health service, the benefits service - and now its the army.
Over the next 8 years or so, they plan to cut down our army by around 20,000 people. Thats a lot of jobs, which really sucks.
So what do I think about it, where do I fall in the debate?
I'm actually kind of for it.
Now, don't get me wrong. I don't think that anyone should be getting sacked off. I think that they should basically just recruit less and do things more organically. In 8 years, surely they can do that without having to ruin anyones career.
Really, in context - I just wonder if we really need an army more than we need our health service. We just need to stop picking fights that cannot be won, and concentrate on protecting ourselves - the idea of the army in the first place surely?
On the radio today, the usual dissenting voices popped up, including one that said 'the Taliban will be really pleased about it'. I really do despair sometimes.
We're not exactly going to have no army. We're still going to have a strong arm. We're just going to have to tighten our belts in that respect. Like we have in every other respect. We're also making sure to beef up the reservists. Fair enough, it's not ideal - but these people are there if they are needed.
We need to face facts and grow up. We are not the rulers of the world we used to be. We haven't the worlds biggest navy, we haven't got a huge commonwealth. We play nicely with others now for the most part - except for repeated recent money draining trysts in the middle east.
You can say what you want about cutting the army - but lets put it in context.
We've taken money from the NHS - always one of the most enviable services we had to offer. If we can take from that, our army should not be immune. Also, in case of something bad happening - its a lot quicker to train soldiers than it is doctors.
Just a thought.
Rant over.
Cuts are a necessity in recession, there isn't much that can be done about it.
We've cut various services, the health service, the benefits service - and now its the army.
Over the next 8 years or so, they plan to cut down our army by around 20,000 people. Thats a lot of jobs, which really sucks.
So what do I think about it, where do I fall in the debate?
I'm actually kind of for it.
Now, don't get me wrong. I don't think that anyone should be getting sacked off. I think that they should basically just recruit less and do things more organically. In 8 years, surely they can do that without having to ruin anyones career.
Really, in context - I just wonder if we really need an army more than we need our health service. We just need to stop picking fights that cannot be won, and concentrate on protecting ourselves - the idea of the army in the first place surely?
On the radio today, the usual dissenting voices popped up, including one that said 'the Taliban will be really pleased about it'. I really do despair sometimes.
We're not exactly going to have no army. We're still going to have a strong arm. We're just going to have to tighten our belts in that respect. Like we have in every other respect. We're also making sure to beef up the reservists. Fair enough, it's not ideal - but these people are there if they are needed.
We need to face facts and grow up. We are not the rulers of the world we used to be. We haven't the worlds biggest navy, we haven't got a huge commonwealth. We play nicely with others now for the most part - except for repeated recent money draining trysts in the middle east.
You can say what you want about cutting the army - but lets put it in context.
We've taken money from the NHS - always one of the most enviable services we had to offer. If we can take from that, our army should not be immune. Also, in case of something bad happening - its a lot quicker to train soldiers than it is doctors.
Just a thought.
Rant over.
Wednesday, 4 July 2012
Rant 186 4/7/12 Subject: Twitters character limit
Rant number 186
As you have probably noticed by now. I quite like to talk/type quite expansively (you could say waffling if you were unpleasant.)
Although, I try never to go overboard, I will rarely go for one short word when five or six long words will do. I like to make sure that my point is well articulated and understood: it's my thing.
This means that my sentences do tend to be quite expansive and floury - and generally quite long.
Twitter then, presents me a bit of a problem.
I've got used to Facebook now - although I was a reasonably late adopter. Someone says something, I say something sarcastic about it - it's another one of my things.
Twitter however, is more odd to me. I understand it, the hashtags, the trends etc etc. I'm just not sure why its so fantastic. Particularly because of the character limit.
I come up with something cool and articulate to say. Something really witty, and expansive...
And inevitably too long!
Surely people would like to hear my thoughts, even if they were a little longer?
Maybe I'm missing the point though.
Its most vexing
Rant over.
As you have probably noticed by now. I quite like to talk/type quite expansively (you could say waffling if you were unpleasant.)
Although, I try never to go overboard, I will rarely go for one short word when five or six long words will do. I like to make sure that my point is well articulated and understood: it's my thing.
This means that my sentences do tend to be quite expansive and floury - and generally quite long.
Twitter then, presents me a bit of a problem.
I've got used to Facebook now - although I was a reasonably late adopter. Someone says something, I say something sarcastic about it - it's another one of my things.
Twitter however, is more odd to me. I understand it, the hashtags, the trends etc etc. I'm just not sure why its so fantastic. Particularly because of the character limit.
I come up with something cool and articulate to say. Something really witty, and expansive...
And inevitably too long!
Surely people would like to hear my thoughts, even if they were a little longer?
Maybe I'm missing the point though.
Its most vexing
Rant over.
Tuesday, 3 July 2012
Rant 185 3/7/12 Subject: Diving
Rant number 185
Now, to start off with - i don't mean diving here as in the athletic sport. I have nothing against people who want to throw themselves off of perfectly good terra firmer from a great height, into water far below.
They're weirdo's, but you can't hold it against em'. Everyone needs a hobby.
Neither, do I have anything against people who like to go to the bottom of the sea with a bottle of air on their backs, to poke sharks. Once again - not my cup of tea, but certainly not something to cause me a great deal of annoyance.
I have another type of diving in mind entirely.
Now, I'll be honest that football is not my cup of tea. Last week however, on holiday with my step-father who does like his football, I was able to watch with moderate enjoyment, the latter stages of the Euro's.
I'm pretty sure you understand which kind of diving I'm referring to now huh?
Professional football players, really can be quite shamefully pathetic. They wear shin pads, they have experience on their side and yet, they dive like a stabbed thespian every time someones foot strays anywhere near them.
I mean, really? Is there any need. In other sports (such as rugby,) men with split lips, bleeding legs and a mild concussion fight on. Have football players no shame?
The Italians particularly, really could ham it up as a man.
What I particularly liked about the way they dive too, is that they manage to make it look dramatic - but fall in such a way that they are not actually hurt. Sneaky Italian bastards!
Football players of the world: you need to man up - you big girls: and stop fucking diving!
Rant over.
Now, to start off with - i don't mean diving here as in the athletic sport. I have nothing against people who want to throw themselves off of perfectly good terra firmer from a great height, into water far below.
They're weirdo's, but you can't hold it against em'. Everyone needs a hobby.
Neither, do I have anything against people who like to go to the bottom of the sea with a bottle of air on their backs, to poke sharks. Once again - not my cup of tea, but certainly not something to cause me a great deal of annoyance.
I have another type of diving in mind entirely.
Now, I'll be honest that football is not my cup of tea. Last week however, on holiday with my step-father who does like his football, I was able to watch with moderate enjoyment, the latter stages of the Euro's.
I'm pretty sure you understand which kind of diving I'm referring to now huh?
Professional football players, really can be quite shamefully pathetic. They wear shin pads, they have experience on their side and yet, they dive like a stabbed thespian every time someones foot strays anywhere near them.
I mean, really? Is there any need. In other sports (such as rugby,) men with split lips, bleeding legs and a mild concussion fight on. Have football players no shame?
The Italians particularly, really could ham it up as a man.
What I particularly liked about the way they dive too, is that they manage to make it look dramatic - but fall in such a way that they are not actually hurt. Sneaky Italian bastards!
Football players of the world: you need to man up - you big girls: and stop fucking diving!
Rant over.
Monday, 2 July 2012
Rant 184 2/7/12 Subject: Proper motorway usage
Rant number 184
As of yesterday, I have passed the halfway mark. That means that I am finally on my way down the slope towards the finish line. Don't get me wrong, I am not going to be cleansed of all of my anger by then. My suspicion is intact that I shall continue with some similarly mad project.
But that is for the future.
Now, the reason I note the halfway mark - beyond the obvious relief and enjoyment it brings me; is that todays rant is the first of its kind!
That's right - there's some new tricks in this old dog yet!
What I mean by this, is that todays rant is not as the result of something bad - but because of something rather good!
Paradoxes abound huh?
Today, driving to band was an absolute pleasure. It really was. And why was it exceptionally so?
Because, every was driving properly!
As in: no-one was doing anything stupid, for a whole 17 miles of motorway.
As of yesterday, I have passed the halfway mark. That means that I am finally on my way down the slope towards the finish line. Don't get me wrong, I am not going to be cleansed of all of my anger by then. My suspicion is intact that I shall continue with some similarly mad project.
But that is for the future.
Now, the reason I note the halfway mark - beyond the obvious relief and enjoyment it brings me; is that todays rant is the first of its kind!
That's right - there's some new tricks in this old dog yet!
What I mean by this, is that todays rant is not as the result of something bad - but because of something rather good!
Paradoxes abound huh?
Today, driving to band was an absolute pleasure. It really was. And why was it exceptionally so?
Because, every was driving properly!
As in: no-one was doing anything stupid, for a whole 17 miles of motorway.
That has got to be record!
- People used the lanes properly, moving in and out of the lanes, overtaking as necessary then returning to the left.
- People didn't undertake.
- People didn't hog the middle lane.
- Lorries didn't try to overtake other lorries in the middle lane.
- No BMWs or Audis hogged the right hand lane.
- Everyone left sensible gaps, no-one tailgated.
It was bloody wonderful. I couldn't have been happier!
So why can't it be like that for all of the other days I have to go on that god forsaken motorway!
Why does people driving courteously have to be the exception? Why can't it be the rule?
You never know, when all the planets align once more, it may happen again.
But probably not in my lifetime.
Rant over.
Sunday, 1 July 2012
Rant 183 1/7/12 Subject: Language quirks
Rant number 183
I really love our language.
It's been with me for my whole life (although admittedly I didn't understand it for some of it!) It conveys any sentiment well. It can convey the simplest of messages with a few, or a thousand words. It can be angry and hateful, loving and beautiful. It's a good language.
Don't get me wrong of course. I'm sure that other languages can do all that too. The thing is though, that English (albeit in different forms, and with different vernacular) is quite universal, and is literally spoken all around the world - if not as a first language, then often as the second.
For all that though. Some of it's conventions are distinctly odd.
To start with: Silent letters.
What is the bloody point of silent letters!? By advent of the fact that they are silent, surely they just aren't worth using. It makes learning certain words confusing, it makes typing them longer. Why bother.
Knife for instance. Why not nife? Its 4 letters long, the same as fork - so it would be a good fit. Nife and Fork.
Sign is another good example. You don't say it as si-g-n do you? No. So how did that pesky g sneak in there?
Then there is shifting plural letters.
You have a wife, but not wifes. You have wives. When did that f turn into a v?
You have a die if you have one, but dice for two - how come its not dies?(Obviously, a word with another meaning entirely!) A whole other letter has sneaked in!
Then you get the transmuting y's. You have a cherry, or some cherries!
Why so much complication? No wonder people rarely get things right.
Our punctuation too is a further bugbear. To put it bluntly, there is an awful lot of it, and only about 5% of the population probably know how to use even 90% of it properly.
I have a good respect for the language, and so I try and use it properly where possible. I am well aware however, that my punctuation could sometimes be better - and I am far from alone.
I have a sneaky suspicion that the resolution to this will not be to fix the people by increasing the education on the subject. Instead, they will just phase out some of the conventions of our language altogether.
Look at apostrophes. The most abused of all punctuation. The famous grocer's apostrophe, has been print for years. Sooner or later, people are going to give us on using them altogether, rather than just getting them wrong all of the bloody time.
Why does it all have to be so damned complicated?
Beats me.
Rant over.
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