Rant 192 10/7/12 Subject: Companies that don't want to talk to you

Rant number 192


The telephone is part of the modern world. Changes are you've got one on you right now, either in your pocket, in your hand (probably while you are reading this) or within a 2 metre radius of you on your desk, sofa or coffee table.

For all that psychologists have for have for years spoken about non verbal communication, we have pretty much got to the point where its a luxury to be in the same postcode as someone else during a conversation.

To paraphrase, we talk a lot - and mostly we talk on the phone.

It's good to talk, or some bullshit like that.

As well as recreation and family stuff, we also need to talk to people we are buying from, selling to etc etc.

And sometimes that falls down badly.

You see, talking to people who don't want to talk to you is difficult. If you call me for instance, and I don't fancy talking to you, you can leave a message for me or send a text - it's easy enough.

If you want to talk to a big firm however, they will do anything they can to stop you taking up their valuable time.

First of all, they will put you through an appallingly long winded and complicated auto-attendant.
Should you pass this hurdle, they will then try and tell you the website can fix your problem (and if it could, you wouldn't have bothered fucking phoning, would you?,) then it'll tell you about the call being recorded, and costing you £12 per minute - and anything else they can think of to put you off holding on.

Finally, you will put on hold for around 45 minutes - to finally find that the person on the end of the phone can't help you anyway.

Phones are a bloody nightmare!

Rant over.

Rant 97 - 6/4/12 Subject: Auto-attendants

Rant number 97


If you would like to read this rant: press 1.

If you would like to read a different rant: press 2.

If you would like me to hoot like a owl in hot pants: press 3.

If you would like to learn to moonwalk: press 4.

For anything else: press 5.

________________________________________________

Annoying isn't it? Like, really bloody annoying.

I hate auto-attendants, they are a terrible invention - a curse even!

This week, I have spoken to several large companies via their call centers - and each time, even getting to speak to a person was enough to test the patience of Job.

Oft times, the options in place are not correct or applicable to what you are calling about - forcing you to speak to someone regardless. The auto-attendant also seems to be adamant that you shall not speak to a real person, and will ceaselessly tell you that either they or the companies website is what you need to solve your problem.

The whole thing is just endlessly irritating. I don't think a pre-recorded robotic message is ever going to be able to fix an issue I have. I can't negotiate with a pre-recorded message - it can only dictate at me!
The website also is not what I want, I like to ask questions - I am a reasoned human being, I just don't need yet more pre-recorded crap!

Even getting through to someone you actually might be able to talk to is often a nightmare process! If in doubt press 0 a couple of times or hash a couple of times; this usually fixes it.

I hate the buggers me!

Rant over