Rant 234 21/8/12 Subject: Stress

Rant number 234

For the first time this evening, I feel like I've taken a breath - figuratively speaking that is.

Several weeks ago, as I'm sure you are all aware, I broke my car - and a sheep. All in all, that was not a very nice evening.

The proceeding weeks have passed in a stressful haze of hard work, a rather large car component scavenger hunt - and what feels like a constant bus journey. Not to mention my fucking bunged up ear! Which still hasn't gone away.

Today however, the garage fitted all the parts I'd accumulated, I started a couple of days holiday and I was finally able to release forth a sigh of relief.

Stress hangs on in the background, affecting how you feel, affecting your emotions, shortening your tempter and impairing your judgement.

I've had some bloody awful days over the last few weeks. Partly due to the days in question being bloody unpleasant of their own right (for do not problems follow problems as a universal & most fucking awful truth) - but also because my reactions to those days were less tempered than they may have normally been.

Don't get me wrong by the above by the way. I've not gone soft on you here. I'm still a miserable bastard and that shall not change. The point I am making however, is that I have been more likely to be a miserable c*** than usual.

Stress is a poison in that way. It sits on your back, like a miniature rain cloud - feeding on your negativity and that of those around you. Each mole hill becomes Everest - and Everest becomes insurmountably and unimaginably high. It want's you to stay trapped in a dark place and finds portents of doom in the simplest of places.

That's why something like my car being fixed was needed to push that monkey off my back, and kick it in its shrunken and prune like genitals.

Now, if I could just get my ear to work again - I'd be back to my 'normal' level of stress and annoyance.

Rant over.

Rant 208 26/7/12 Subject: Running late

Rant number 208


In general I am not an organised person.

I'm not one for super tenacious tidying (although I do have a bit of an OCD thing about symmetry, I really hate it when there should be some but there isn't (like lego! never could a single circle wide block in the middle of a row of four, which always upset me)) filing, lining up (although it does please me if I can line everything up) or super cleanliness.

One thing though, that I really like to be on time.

I like to get to work at least 10 minutes early, to gather my thoughts and have a cup of tea.

I like to get to band early enough to warm up and have a chat or whatever.

I like to get to the Cinema early to buy some excruciatingly expensive snacks or whatever.

You get the idea.

And the ying to that yang is that I absolutely hate running late.

It makes me stressed be late, so I rush. When I rush, I'm stressed. When I'm stressed I feel like rushing. The whole thing just gets worse and worse.

When they invent the time machine, I'm going to be a happy man - because that way I won't need to be late! Get me a bloody Flux Capacitor (and if you don't know what one of those is. Shame on you!)

Rant over.