Rant 210 28/7/12 Subject: My lack of cooking ability

Rant number 210


I've got skills. I really do.

I can fix a computer, hardware or software for the most part.

I can play trombone well, compose to a reasonable standard, arrange music.

I can fix things, I can take things apart and put them back together again and usually have them still work. I can even program a VCR (for you young-uns, its like a DVD but bigger that the case of the DVD, with magnetic tape inside) the players were notoriously buggers to program!)

I'm great at a lot of things in fact. If I was a bow, I'd have a lot of strings (so god knows where you would put the arrows!)

I am not very good however, at cooking.

I mean, I can boil and egg, or cook a bacon sandwich (often resulting in burns!) I can cook scones or biscuits under supervision (to ensure no injuries are received by either me or the biscuits) but beyond that I'm not very good at all.

My wife, can cook a roast dinner for instance. Potatoes, chicken, boiled veg, gravy, roast potatoes, stuffing and roast spuds. She can also ensure that all of these bits are cooked on time, are piping hot and are cooked to perfection.

How does she do that? I mean, all of that!? It's a mystery to me.

I could probably just about manage to cook all of these bits on their own, once again with supervision and someone to point out when I was doing something stupid. To cook it all to time however, there would be little chance.

As for chefs, who balance hundreds of dishes a night - they are just freaky!

I bet I'm better at trombone than them, or wiring a plug or whistling or tying my shoelaces or something!

Anyway, probably time to stop procrastinating.

I'm off to cook my tea. Wish me luck.

Rant over.