Rant number 203
You wear them over stockinged feet
You polish them to make them neat
They keep your feet from being blistered
And hide them if your feet are whiskered
(Apologies, I came over all poetic then!)
Shoes then. They're an essential part of your life as soon as you can walk. There are different types of shoes to help you walk, run, construct, destruct, tap, slide and make you taller. They come in all colors of the rainbow and can make or break an outfit.
Women are generally mad about shoes. They need as many shoes as you need gadgets (and often spend the same amount on them) and they like to have shoes for every outfit. They also like brands of shoes and of course tall shoes to make them taller and flat shoes for when they don't need to.
Men don't tend to need so many pairs of shoes. Mostly a combo of trainers, work shoes and special shoes is plenty. That's what I've got anyway
Today was a band job, so out came my special shoes. They are black, very shiny, very smart and about as comfortable as wearing a porcupine for a hat. And that is the problem with smart shoes.
Both womens heels and men's smart shoes seem to have been designed by the marquis de saad. Women, balance on a small point while it feels like you are constantly on a slope.
Men, squeeze your feet into shoes that disappear beyond your toes but are still painfully tight
You see, my shoes are shoes to be seen in, not to walk in, which kind of defies the point. I had to walk about an hour each way to the gig and I feel like I've been walking over hot coals and broken glass!
Why do we do this to ourselves! It's madness I tell you. Why can't they make super smart shoes that have some modicum of cushioning in the sole?
It's bloody irritating!
Rant over
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