Rant 161 9/6/12 Subject: Ridiculous train prices

Rant number 161

In two weeks time, I'm off on holiday - and I'm really rather looking forward to it.

We're off to cornwall with the parents, who are located in Somerset. This leaves me only the journey between here and Somerset to worry about - as my Stepfather is driving from there to Cornwall.

Now, for any of you not too familiar with the Geography involved, the journey between us in Huddersfield (in the North West) and Stoke Sub Hamdon (in the South West) is some 250 miles, which is quite a long way. 

In a car, without taking into account traffic - the journey will take around 4 1/2 hours, which although not a problem - is a bit of a long trek (particularly in my rather small car.)

As such, me and the wife decided we would probably get a train.

Now, the cost of travelling by car for the two of us will be between £30 (good run) and £40 (not good run.)  So worse case scenario, the two of us travelling would cost £15 per person in fuel. Theres then coffees and burgers etc to take into account en route - so lets chalk the total up to around £25 each - making the total return around £100.

Far from cheap that I know, but we get to travel at our convenience, with our own entertainment. We can also stop at whatever services we need to. 

With those luxuries then - you would expect that to be the expensive option.

It bloody well isn't though.

For the pleasure of spending 10 minutes to get the first train station, 4 1/2 hours on trains then another 20 minutes travelling from the other station to my parents you'd think that things would be cheaper.

They aren't though.

Then there is the sitting in a cramped carriage, continually travelling with hot, smelly, fed up, noisy strangers for the duration. Surely this would make a difference.

It doesn't though.

Then there is the fact that one train can propel several hundred people, making fuel costs per person very low. Surely they pass this on?

Do they bolucs.

No, for each of us to get to Somerset and back, without travelling to the stations or any other costs, it would cost us £170 each. 

Shit a brick.

Why on earth does anyone travel by train any more? There is not a reason I can think of.

How on earth can you charge so much for one person? For that kind of money, I'd be expecting a personal mariachi band - to serenade me for the duration of the journey. 

I could hire a bloody car and drive it there for that kind of money. 

In fact, I could hire a car and a bloody driver! and I'd probably have enough left over for a half decent bottle of wife.

What a set of thieving bastards! Looks like I'm driving then.

Rant over.

Rant 93 - 2/4/12 Subject: Train travel

Rant number 93


March & April seem to be a ridiculously busy months for Birthdays (all those parents getting busy in the summer....) so I bet you all have lots of presents to buy - and are low on ideas.

Never fear - Trum is here not to provide entertainment but also to help you out. Aren't I a generous fella?

A modern gift for someone who has 'everything' is 'the experience gift.' You know the ones, Drive a Ferrari for 4 laps around a race track, throw yourself out of a perfectly comfortable airplane with some fat birds knickers in a backpack; those kind of deeleys.

The problem with these gifts is that they are bloody expensive! The car based ones for instance are generally around £90 for a two hour experience (consisting of 90% briefing and 10% behind the actual wheel!)

Not so however, for the experience I am plugging for you today: That of riding the train.

For as little as a few pounds, you can travel from place to place in a train - a method of transport that, in the modern age is cramped, noisy, uncomfortable and generally unpleasant.

The seats for instance, are placed in the most illogical way, minimising the seats per square feet in order to ensure the maximum amount of standing and resultantly uncomfortable people.

This ensures that you will be able to stand shoulder to shoulder with your fellow man. Todays journey for instance involved screaming babies, a man with no sense of personal hygiene and - finest of all, some plastic gangsters.

Where else would you have the opportunity to experience a microcosm of the 3rd world in the 1st world so easily? I'll tell you: nowhere!

I actually quite like trains to be honest (not in the note pad and anorak sense, before anyone makes comments of that variety,) I like the idea of their efficiency and their ability to transport hundreds of people with ease. The thing that ruins it all though, is the pathetic bureaucracy that it involves - particularly since they privatised it!

Half the trains haven't enough carriages to transport the amount of people comfortably, the rest are empty half the time. As previously discussed, the layouts are just plain useless and, most ridiculous of all: sitting down is a luxury.

Even on a bus, its rare to have more than a couple of people standing up, on a train - nearly everyone does!

Finally - trains are constantly delayed and messy, which ruins what could be a good service. Its not like they're a cheap option either. The government needs to take the trains back from the private companies - too much money is spent on filling their pockets and not enough on improving the mess of a rail network!

Look at countries around the world (particularly Toyko with the bullet train!) and its proof how well trains can work. Why can't ours!?

Book your train experience through me today people: a 25% booking fee will apply...

Rant over.

Rant 19 - 19/1/12 Subject: Privatisation.

Rant number 19


Britain used to have brilliant public services.

Note the past tense!


Because, over the last couple of decades - they have sold off our trains, our gas, our water and anything else they can get away with.

In theory, there are advantages to this. Money is made first of all by the sale, (which is a goody isn't it) and also the money is saved by not having to run it any more (double goody.) Also, by killing the monopoly privatisation gives the opportunity for competition - which surely should mean the end user, visa vi us can get better prices.

The problem is that, these advantages tend to be rather short term i.e

• The money gained is soon spent - generally on expenses for the government like second houses and gold plated duck houses...
• These companies will generally make a mess of things and require government money to keep them propped up
• The companies do not contrive to compete - instead filling the pockets of their shareholders at all turns because - lets face it - you can't get it from anyone else!

I understand that some services may well have been just as bad in government hands. Hell - there is even a small (very small) chance that they could have made things worse. I feel however that, the profits these companies need to make - are what will always hurt us.

The trains for instance are a bloody awful mess, and in my humble opinion:

British rail is an ineptly run money pit.

Trains are rarely on time and usually far too small for the routes they are covering. That a seat is now not to be an expectation is ridiculous. The last trains designed in our area almost halved the amount of seats for god sake. Except for First class of course. Money always means luxury is to be expected (in this case, not having to stand up for a 4 hour journey.)

If this had been done to save money to keep rail fares affordable, I wouldn't mind. But its not like that at all. Since I moved to this area, most fees have gone up by almost four times. 

That a journey for only two people is cheaper in a car than on a train says it all. 'Public transport' is too much of a money making scheme and not about being a viable alternative.

The setting off point for this rant I should add was the radio news this evening. In a dual bill, the government want to offer more powers to GP's to distribute tax players monies & to privatise parts of the NHS in order to improve services. 

Apparently this is not being done to save money of course. No, it is merely to improve services.

Did they think I came down in the last shower!?

If there is any votes on this (and lets face it, they probably won't ask any of us - its not like any of us our intelligent enough to make decisions) I strongly suggest you vote against any privatisation of our NHS. 

It is one of the last Bastions of our once much prouder nation and is the envy of many a nation.

Rant over.