Rant 15 - 15/1/12 Subject: Americanisation

Rant number 15

I like foreign films

I don't watch them as some kind of pretension, or to be seen to be a fan of them in order to impress anyone. 

I just like them.

I don't mind subtitles personally, and am not too snooty to watch a dubbed copy of a foreign film with equal enjoyment.

And why would I want to watch them? Simply because they are often so much more imaginative than the formulaic clap-trap which is so common within the Hollywood films that we are force fed by our media.

This is not the subject of my rant. Some of Hollywood's films can be marvels, just as with foreign films, some can be turkeys. No, my beef is that the American's cannot do like I do - and just watch a film from another country and - god forbid enjoy it. 

No - for many many people, it seems that even a dubbed copy is far too much like hard work. After all - the original films do not have a Hollywood friendly cast list - as such they just must be terrible. 

America is after all, a big dumb animal and like any animal fears what it does not understand. 

For example, I give you 'The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.' A critically acclaimed version of this film was made in 2009 in Sweden (where the book was written.) The film was well received around the world and received an English dub in 2010 - so that it could be enjoyed by a wider audience.

This wasn't enough for the masses however. So a new shiny version was made, with a Hollywood heartthrob at the centre.

Was it needed? No. But you can bet that many people would not have watched the film, if it had been a dubbed foreign film.

And this is my issue with Americanisation. It plays to the masses - who take what they are given.

I am not in anyway, saying that all American's would prefer the Hollywood version to the original - but their mass culture (which is such an influence upon ours) tells us to be quiet, watch what they say and accept it gratefully like good children.

And it doesn't stop with movies does it?

So much of the TV we watch today comes from America. Their comedy is very different to ours for instance - and yet their shows are beginning to outnumber ours - by quite a large margin. And its the same with nearly everything we are fed! 

I love some American TV - so don't think I'm down on it. But nothing quintessentially British seems to be around at the moment. When will our generations Monty Python come along? The closest we probably have had for a while, is something like the IT crowd or the Mighty Boosh. Sadly however both of these things have been a bit quiet for a while.

Even as I type this blog post. The spell checker on my computer consistently suggests I replace my 's's for 'z's. I mean what is the deal with that!

I think that more effort should be made in Britain to keep things for ourselves. Regional dialects for instance continue to fade - partly I will admit due to migration within our own country but also because of the (often American) voices that our children consistently hear on TV.

Keep British mannerisms, words and films alive - and remember that a world exists beyond what we are fed. You might just have to look for it.

Rant over.

Rant 11 - 11/1/12 Subject: The sea of magnolia

Rant number 11

For todays rant, let me first tell you a story:

'Once upon a time, there was a hypothetical country - lets called it England.


In this hypothetical country, there were lots and lots of colours.


The inhabitants of said country, being a cheerful bunch daubed bright pigments and patterns around their homes and places of work in order to enjoy their surroundings.


And for many many years it was good.


As the country was nearing the end of its 20th century however, someone decided that these 'colours' were too much, and that 'neutral' was that much cooler.


And then - it wasn't good any more


The end'


I hate bloody magnolia paint.

I, like many people of my age rent a flat as opposed to owning my own home.

As a result, I am not in a position where I can decorate my home in the fashion which I would like.

And you can just guess what colour the walls are cant you?

I'm not saying that I want to paint the walls bright green with yellow polka-dots. But a little colour somewhere along the lines.

As if this wasn't enough, the rental agent have put up some lovely curtains too - also magnolia.

Certain sections of my flat look almost completely monotone.

But not quite.

Because magnolia is of course not quite white is it?

It's what is affectionally called 'off-white' (but is really just - white with a bit of yellow added.)

I mean - why not just white, if you're going to be boring? magnolia looks like someone has accidentally white paint with the wrong bloody paint wash!


I could almost tolerate the colour at home a little more, if it didn't stalk me everywhere I go. My work place has magnolia walls. My friends houses have magnolia walls. My local shop has magnolia walls.

I am being drowned in a sea of magnolia.

People of britain - nay the world, I petition you - bring back colour!

Rant over.

This is my artists impression of the sea of magnolia