Rant number 336
After 11 tough bloody months - its time for December. Despite my best efforts - I may add.
Although I'm not terribly given to hating months particularly - there is much that I find contemptible about December.
Point 1) December is bloody cold. Scraping off my car, traffic chaos, dangerous roads, dangerous pavements.
Point 2) December is bloody dark and miserable. You never see the sunlight and even if you do its greyer than an octogenarians hair.
Point 3) Its got Christmas in it. This means that there is endless bloody Christmas adverts, band jobs for me to do - and various other reasons to be miserable.
Its been too short a year so far to be whacking december on anyway. I don't want to start the whole miserable cycle of optimism, realisation and eventual acceptance all over again. Its a pain in the ass.
Why do these things have to come round so soon!
Rant over.
Showing posts with label miserable. Show all posts
Showing posts with label miserable. Show all posts
Friday, 30 November 2012
Saturday, 28 April 2012
Rant 119 28/4/12 Subject: Soaps
Rant number 119
When I get home from work each day, I tend to pop on the TV for something to let my brain unwind to. Often I'll watching something like Big Bang Theory, My name is Earl or the Simpsons. Nothing too brain taxing you know? Yes of course you do.
After the half an hour/hour has passed however, I have to dive for the buttons each and every time, to avoid bloody Hollyoaks.
From the opening moments of its annoying theme tune, Hollyoaks depresses, distresses and disgusts me. I don't want to see it, any of it! I want it to go away, and take all its friends with it.
It upsets and distresses me so much that many people who watch soaps do so to have some kind of narrative in their lives. If you need to sit down for an hour 3 times a week to find a narrative - you should spend it doing something else, like communicating with people.
Whats worse: soaps are an addiction. Each episode is a little cliff hanger, a miniature hook, a cliffhanger. It tries to grab you and say 'go on, you need to watch the next one now to find out whats going on.' The whole thing is a vicious and endless bloody circle.
Now, soaps really wouldn't bother me so much if they weren't so unhealthily miserable. People are meant to want to watch TV as escapism, not to be depressed to the point of melancholy.
If I want to see people being miserable, I'll go into Wetherspoons during the day or something. I don't need it from my TV.
I hate soaps.
Rant over.
When I get home from work each day, I tend to pop on the TV for something to let my brain unwind to. Often I'll watching something like Big Bang Theory, My name is Earl or the Simpsons. Nothing too brain taxing you know? Yes of course you do.
After the half an hour/hour has passed however, I have to dive for the buttons each and every time, to avoid bloody Hollyoaks.
From the opening moments of its annoying theme tune, Hollyoaks depresses, distresses and disgusts me. I don't want to see it, any of it! I want it to go away, and take all its friends with it.
It upsets and distresses me so much that many people who watch soaps do so to have some kind of narrative in their lives. If you need to sit down for an hour 3 times a week to find a narrative - you should spend it doing something else, like communicating with people.
Whats worse: soaps are an addiction. Each episode is a little cliff hanger, a miniature hook, a cliffhanger. It tries to grab you and say 'go on, you need to watch the next one now to find out whats going on.' The whole thing is a vicious and endless bloody circle.
Now, soaps really wouldn't bother me so much if they weren't so unhealthily miserable. People are meant to want to watch TV as escapism, not to be depressed to the point of melancholy.
If I want to see people being miserable, I'll go into Wetherspoons during the day or something. I don't need it from my TV.
I hate soaps.
Rant over.
Tuesday, 24 April 2012
Rant 115 24/4/12 Subject: Awol spring
Rant number 115
Where the chuff has spring got to people? Its nearly May now and yet somewhere along the lines spring has slipped out of the back door, jumped the fence, swum the moat, stolen a bicycle and gone to France.
It sucks!
A couple of weeks ago, it was T-shirt weather. I like T-shirt weather.
Where has it gone now, its crappy.
We have this every year, so I suppose we should know better by now. I still hope though - I've got to.
Why is it bloody arctic again. Why am I in my winter coat again at the end of April.
Why why why!
Its preposterous, it really is.
At this time, it shouldn't be like this. It should be spring-like. Lambs should be hopping gaily in green sunlit fields - not getting muddy in puddles. Birds should be singing the suns praises, not skulking like chavs under gutters. Its at these times it annoys me to live in this lovely green country of ours.
Because the reason its beautiful and green (in places) is because its bloody well watered!
Happy spring time people.
Rant over.
Where the chuff has spring got to people? Its nearly May now and yet somewhere along the lines spring has slipped out of the back door, jumped the fence, swum the moat, stolen a bicycle and gone to France.
It sucks!
A couple of weeks ago, it was T-shirt weather. I like T-shirt weather.
Where has it gone now, its crappy.
We have this every year, so I suppose we should know better by now. I still hope though - I've got to.
Why is it bloody arctic again. Why am I in my winter coat again at the end of April.
Why why why!
Its preposterous, it really is.
At this time, it shouldn't be like this. It should be spring-like. Lambs should be hopping gaily in green sunlit fields - not getting muddy in puddles. Birds should be singing the suns praises, not skulking like chavs under gutters. Its at these times it annoys me to live in this lovely green country of ours.
Because the reason its beautiful and green (in places) is because its bloody well watered!
Happy spring time people.
Rant over.
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