Rant 358 23/12/12 Subject: The lovely hitmen

Rant number 358

The wife has just popped on 'In Bruges.' Its not a bad movie whatsoever - though not my cup of tea.

It does however, one particularly daft - and much recurrent hollywood trope however, which I think is ridiculous.

The film is about a pair of hit men - who are a bit bungling and, most importantly quite nice.
Now, I don't know if its just me that thinks this, but I'd think that people who kill for a living are probably quite unpleasant people to be around. They aren't going to be slightly socially awkward - and thus inherently a little bit likeable in my opinion.

This follows on from other great movies - such as the fantastic but flawed Leon. All involved play out of their skins (my favourite Gary Oldman performance as the worlds most evil corrupt cop ever,) however, the whole underpinning feel of the piece is a bit forced.
Jean Reno plays a lonely, loveable guy who also seems a little simple. He realises the role well and with class however. I'm pretty sure that once again - this does not add up to being a good serial killer. I'm pretty sure you have to be a pretty cool calculating bastard to go knifing/shooting another person dead.

I just think its daft me. People who kill have to be - by advent of what they are doing, a little bit switched off. They don't train soldiers to be loveable, they train them to be able to kill without remorse. I'm pretty sure the same thing would apply to someone who just kills for money!

Just my thoughts on the matter!

Rant over.

Rant 58 - 27/2/12 Subject: Hangovers

Rant number 58


Yesterday was a good day - and involved quite a bit of celebration.

And how do most of us celebrate? A bit of shouting, occasional dancing and - of course drinking.

I am pretty sure I remember all of yesterdays drinks, but it is hard to be sure. I definitely do remember a bit of slurring, swaying and even staggering!

I was, lets face it - quite  a bit drunk (though not so drunk as some of those around me!)

At the time (as it always - always does) it seemed a good idea to go back to the bar, to open another bottle of beer and to drain yet another glass. In the morning however, I hated myself just a little bit.

I wasn't that rough actually - very luckily. I think a combination of a kebab (that tasted great at the time, but I am pretty sure has been responsible for a slightly upset stomach all day)) and some water before I went to sleep seemed to stop the worst of it happening.

I was still hungover a little though, and it sucked. My head hurt, my stomach was a little fragile and my guts were (as aforementioned) not the best.

Hangovers seem to apply the rules of relativity to real life and causality.

Essentially - the universe doesn't want to allow you to have a good time without punishing you for it later. Its mean - it really is.

How many times have you woken up, hugging the porcelain whilst your head pounds you.

Now the sensible among you would point out that hangovers are the result of you overdoing it in the first place - making it your own fault. To these people I say - go away I have a hangover.

If someone ever does come up with a hangover cure that is foolproof - I will gladly sell them my kidney.

Rant over.