Rant 293 19/10/12 Subject: Stupid road systems

Rant number 293

Sorry guys - we're on the roads again!

I've done quite a lot of miles over the last week - 2 fill ups have now been used (roughly the same distance as I drove to Somerset and back!)

Today, we had to pop to a nearby town to pick something up - so I though that this would be an easier drive than the last few days.

How wrong I was of course.

West Yorkshire - you see, loves its roads - and its road systems to keep things flowing.

Despite all of the efforts to make roads better- road systems do seem to make things worse and worse every year.

I get some types of road systems - and really think they work well. Roundabouts for instance are far superior to 4 way junctions and keep things flowing well.

Others just annoy me though - and are bloody useless:

1. One way systems - pointless, confusing and guaranteed to get you lost with minimum effort. Want to go left do you? Well you bloody well can't - you will have to go 5 miles in a circle to eventually get back to where you wanted to go.
2. Roundabouts with traffic lights - which remove the flow aspect of roundabouts and make them work just as uselessly as anything else. Not likely to get you lost - but will delay your journey.
3. Single to dual to single to dual to... - whereby a road consistently turns from single to dual carriageway. Prone to cause issues wherever the lanes merge - causing much in the way of delays
4. Traffic lights with different directions - which can be plain confusing. Especially considering that no-one is ever properly in the right lane
5. Slip roads that aren't big enough - meaning that you can't get past the people turning off
6. Bears and turnings - a final really irritating road system - particularly irritating when you have a sat-nav. By this I mean that some lanes need to be turned off of and some just turn into the turning. It can be really bloody confusing when you don't know the area and a sign just points to the left.

I just don't get who designs these things. Is it some kind of conspiracy to fuck up my (and everyone else's) day?

Bloody council idiots.

Rant over.

Rant 127 6/5/12 Subject: One way systems

Rant number 127


Sometimes, hell like all places has a slow day. The kind of day where all the customers are satisfied (in this case tortured horribly,) the paperwork has all been filed, the office has been tidied and the staff (demons) have time to twiddle their thumbs a bit.

Satan - like all bosses, really hates to see his workers down tools and put their feet up. So on these days he tells them to go and work on their own projects. Their very own little bit of evil you know?

It was on one of these days I reckon, that some evil imp, incubus, gorgon, goblin or assorted other came up with a minor but diabolical evil.

The one way system.


It doesn't matter how clever you are, how good your sense of direction is or how good a driver you are. You will still get caught out by a one way system every time, and always to your bloody detriment.

One way systems are something used by town planners to make up for poor initial planning.

I understand the ones where roads are just too narrow to fit two cars between the buildings, but often its not as simple as that.

Sometimes you come to a junction where you need to turn left. You've planned to go that way - that way lies your destination. Can you though? Can you arse.

No - you need to turn right: the opposite direction. How bloody irritating and pointless is that?

I mean, surely people want to go that way sometimes? Why make it more difficult?

Some places are an absolute web of these bloody systems. Manchester for instance often involves going an almost insurmountable distance out of your way - just because.

I just think its bloody daft!

Rant over.