Rant 340 05/12/12 Subject: The incautious idiots strike again

Rant number 340

Today, again, it took forever to get home from work (after I was late for work in the morning). The journey that should take 30 minutes, took over an hour and 45 minutes - what a ball ache.

And why prey? I hear you cry.

Because there has been yet another humongous accident on the M62.

It's always sad when these things happen I know, and I hope that the people involved are OK. Once again though - I can't help but be a little irritated that these things just keep happening.

Now, I know that at this time of year - the conditions aren't ideal. It gets very cold and icy indeed - which can make things slippery.
I suppose you could use this as an argument as to why these things keep happening.

I don't accept that though - I think its just people being dickheads.
The reasons for this I feel are:
A) Everyone knows it can be slippery because its cold - as such, everyone should be more careful - ignorance is no excuse
B) This stuff keeps happening on the M62, one of the busiest motorways in the country. Its gritted at night and is in use at all times of the day - as such, its tough for ice to form.
C)The areas where these accidents have been happening are at a reduced 50 mile an hour speed limit - which surely should make this stuff less likely to happen.

So what is going on?

People driving aggressively with no regard. This time - as it often is, it was a lorry that caused the problem - and they really are a menace.

Many of them are from foreign countries and so aren't necessarily experienced with looking for traffic on the right side of their vehicles. Their mirrors and seats also are set up so that they can see the left side of the vehicle better than the right - which is just a bit fucking dangerous.

Then there is the situation with revs. Lorries take a long time to accelerate up to speed and get revs up. As such, they hate braking and so will drive very aggressively in order to keep up to speed (I have experienced this myself, when one of these complete and utter cunts tried to push me off the motorway.)

So what do I think really is happening? We have too many lorry drivers driving too complacently - and with too little regard for the other road users. While this goes on - the accidents will continue.

I hate the M62, and those bastards.

Rant over.

Rant 307 2/11/12 Subject: Canned laughter

Rant number 307

I'm a pretty smart guy - in my opinion at least. If I take pride in anything - it is that I'm pretty bright and that I am quite knowledgeable. Lets face it - it takes a certain amount of pride - arrogance even - to write 365 rants for people to read.

Part of being intelligent, it that I understand things pretty well. I understand the way of the world and I understand people pretty well - and I also understand comedy.

Comedy is of course a very subjective thing. One man will wee themselves at The Office for instance, whereas I found it to be a bit cringey. Others love Scrubs - with its cut aways and endless 'quirky' humour. I prefer the old school channel 4 comedies myself: Father Ted, Black books, Spaced and even the more modern IT crowd manage to combine comedy talent that can combine intelligent, witty and often cutting sitcom characters with enough silliness to entertain anyone at all.

With how subjective comedy is. I guess that it must be hard for comedy series producers to guarantee that everyone will laugh at all the gags. Now, you can make sure everyone laughs by making sure that the show is bloody hilarious and has universal appeal (Faulty Towers for instance!) however, this isn't an easy business and takes some really talented writing.

They don't want to rely on talented writing. It's expensive and too hard to guarantee.
No, instead they put on some canned laughter in the hope that the idiots will laugh along.

I'm sure that there is some psychology involved in canned laughter. If you hear others laughing at every line of a comedy series - you are meant to laugh along.

Maybe that works if you aren't a bright, opinionated, miserable, hard to please git; or if you are an idiot who is unable to think for yourself and interpret whether what you are hearing and seeing is actually funny. For the rest of us - canned laughter is groan-inducing - and highlights bad scripting more than if it wasn't there.

This rant was inspired by a program I heard yesterday on Radio 4 on my way back from band. It was a comedy sketch show, which seemed worth listening to and although not although only around 40% of jokes hit their mark, I still enjoyed it.

What annoyed me though, was that every line (and I mean every fucking line. Every. Single. Fucking. One) was followed by riotous canned laughter. Not just the punchlines, the set ups, the dialogue - everything. It made the show infinitely less funny and made it far harder to enjoy it.

Why aren't we allowed to think our way through what is funny ourselves? Why do they need to tell us. Is it insecurity on the behalf of the creators - or is it producers insisting - in order to increase ratings?

Either way, it gets on my wick!

Knock knock (haahahahahahahahahahaha)
Whose there (hahahahahahahahahahahaha)
Trum (hahahahahhahahahahahaha)
Trum who (hahahahahhahahahahahah)
Fuck off.

Rant over.