Rant 290 16/10/12 Subject: 'Countryside clothing'

Rant number 290

I was born in the country. Not on a farm or anything else particularly rural mind. I was born (like most countryside people) in the hospital and lived in a house in a small country village.

Now - believe it or not, there was no dress code that came with living in the countryside. You wore what you bought in town from all the normal places you buy stuff from.

I was not bought up wearing wax jackets and jodhpurs or whatever.

It seems however, that for some people it is not enough to simply live in the country these days. You must be seen to be wearing the right stuff too!

I'm loving the lakes - but I'm knee deep in shops that sell all manner of overpriced rambling gear, posh country style sweaters and more flat caps than you can throw a bloody log at.

That an fucking rambling poles. I hate those fuckers - I really do. I saw some today that cost £45 (I'm sure you can spend more easily.)

If you want to buy a rambling pole I do have some advice - cause I'm nice like that.

To find a good one - hold the pole in your left hand - extend it fully - then insert it sideways into your nearest orifice you fucker.

People in the country can dress just like anyone else - dressing up in all that overpriced garb just makes you look all the more a towny.

And don't buy a rambling pole or you will look like a complete and utter wanker.

Rant over.