There was something truly terrifying on the news this morning. It was hairy, it was scary, it was around 20cm wide, it was completely unrealistic... it was Donald Trump's fucking rug.
You'd think that a guy who has blown his nose on more money than you will ever earn could afford a more convincing hair piece than that wouldn't you? Its like some furry creature has chosen to die up there.
This rant isn't about his wig by the way. But - you can't talk about him without mentioning it. I mean - have you seen it?
No, todays rant is all about his attitude, or more aptly his attitude problem.
Because, put simply: Donald Trump is a bit of a wanker.
I was never really particularly concerned about this in the past.
He's always been just like a slightly worse haired version of Alan Sugar to me.
Today however, he transcended this with an idiotic display of childish Americanism. To whit, he had a childish, bribing tantrum on national news.
He has been proposing to build a golf cause and a resort - worth hundreds of millions of pound on the Scottish coast. Although I don't play golf and really couldn't care less, I can see that this would be a massive boon to their econemy.
He has now however threatened to pull out, unless he get his own way over a most contentious issue.
Essentially - he doesn't want the Scottish government to build some wind turbines off-shore. Why? because he is American and because he is a penis.
This is a typically short-sighted and pathetic point of view. A ridiculous 'not on my turf' kind of attitude to wind turbines. We're running out of coal, oil and gas, nuclear is really bloody unpleasant and dangerous - we need to come up with some other way to keep powering the things we love.
In my opinion, the Scottish government should simply say no to any of his crap. Just don't let him push them. His taste is obviously pathetic - look at that fucking wig.
What a massive and total idiot. I really do hope his wig catches rabies and bits him on his stupid head.
Rant over.
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