Today was a really cool day. We set off from the place we had been staying about 12 hours ago and headed home the scenic route - via Kendal and a wildlife park on the other side of the county..
The Wildlife park itself was bloody fantastic and allowed you the chance to meet the animals (well the ones that wouldn't bite your nads off anyway,) feed penguins (which I love) and generally spend time around cool creatures. I also had a small conversation with a parrot (which was very intellectual...)
Whilst in search of some kangaroos (I'm pretty sure that they didn't have any - or that they were camouflaged ones - making them invisible to normal eyes) which were past the lemurs through a couple of gates.
Through those gates- there was a couple of ways to go - and standing in each pathway - was an Emu.
Now - I grew up with Rod Hull on TV - attacking all and sundry with his Emu - which was called Emu (original Rod, original) and so considered myself quite well acclimatised to humungous birds.
I've seen them in many a zoo also - and have always thought them to be quite cheerful looking.
These Emu's didn't look happy though - they looked massive and really quite angry. I had some food for them - and offered the bag to the first Emu. It looked at me with an expression that said 'stay still douchebag' and pecked some seed from the bag with all the force of a charging rhino.
Close up - Emu's are bloody terrifying. I put some seed to one side - and ran past.
I swear to you - should you ever have a mansion that needs defending - don't buy Dobermans or Rottweilers - they cost a lot to feed. Buy some Emu's and let them buggers patrol.
Rant over.
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| 'What the hell are you looking at? Give me that fucking seed' |
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