Rant 69 - 09/3/12 Subject: Reusing irritating advertisements

Rant number 69


Advertising is an under-riding to some of my more recent rants. The reason for this, is simple: Adverts are annoying.

They rarely work on me in the way they should (They might make me want a coffee for instance - but I won't buy theirs on principal.) And they are just everywhere these days. On TV, DVD's, at the Cinema, on billboards, on busses, in the papers and no doubt in fewer years than any of us would wish - they will be projected onto our eyes by tiny robots the size of a virus.

Imagine that if you can, tiny robots beaming shite into your eyes while you are working, eating or - I dunno, licking a parrot. Terrible in any situation!

Anyway, onwards with the topic proper.

Advertising (as I have pretty well established,) is just awful, and there is only one thing more annoying than a new advertisement.

Do you know what that is boys and girls?

Yep, the same old fucking adverts year after bastard year.

If it didn't work then, its not going to work now. Give me the respect of at least trying to come up with new ways to try and convince me out of my hard earned dosh.

I understand that adds are expensive, but so is TV time - so its not worth skimping is it? Why not try something new. Many adds that work well are - in fact not terribly expensive (look at all those bastard go compare adverts (which must cost all of about £20(most of which goes on the catering for the stupid fat fuck who keeps singing)) and how big a household name they have become now!)

Stop phoning it in and showing me the same tired old shit. Try harder - other people are getting it right, but you aren't!

Rant over

Rant 22 - 22/1/12 Subject: Bad advertising

Rant number 22


I don't often watch that much TV, however on a cold dark miserable Sunday, I will often flick through what's on the idiot lantern.

Often there is some films on, which are worth watching - or something repeated that I had intended to watch.

Today was such a day (dusky by 2pm) and thoroughly cold and miserable. So - I did do a little channel flicking.

Are adverts ever bloody annoying


Star wars characters can be used to sell phone plans from particular networks or brown goods (Yoda for phones, Darth for Brown goods - because presumably these are the more evil?)

Meercats & fat men, sell car insurance - endlessly.

Bank employees host bad radio programs (ISA ISA baby....)

The list goes on and on!


The thing is, do they really feel that they can sell me a product by getting on my nerves? I mean really? Is that the kind of connection they want to make in my head.

And these are at least the kind of adverts that you can understand.

Those that create perfume adverts for instance - have no restriction within their brief that says that they actually have to identify the product in question. They just have to connect a vague thematic smorgasbord together with some dramatic music.

Then there are those that try and sell you the lifestyle of the product in question. I've just seen one for Quaker Oats that sell you the lifestyle of a fitness freak who is happy in his life and work life and who is going to live to the ripe old age of 750.

Shit a brick - Someone get me a box pronto!


I understand that products need to be advertised. I just wish that they could be a bit sensible about it. I don't want to hear a generic cartoon character singing about car insurance to the tune of YMCA - particularly not one who seems to have hidden her microphone somewhere decidedly dodgy (watch closely next time you see the confused.com add...)

I also don't want to see the same adverts that have been used for years. You have got your product into my consciousness on the last 7000 viewings. I don't need to see it again unless you have something new to say.

Part of me - like many of my friends, would like to go down the route of only watching things online on catchup services. The thing is - many of these now insist on getting adverts in also. They are also subject of my internet connection behaving itself, and the proviso of watching yet more adverts should their be some kind of error with the stream.

I hope that one of these days, their will be some way to avoid them altogether. The closest you can currently get is to use a PVR, never watch anything live & to fast forward everything.

I hate bloody adverts

Rant over.