Rant number 267
I've been being creative today! I've been making a gift for my wife.
Like many creative activities this involved quite a lot of making holes in things (I used a kitchen skewer, two different pairs of scissors (one of which I snapped) and a large sharp kitchen knife) and of course joining things together.
The weapon of choice for joining things together for me - as with any person, is glue.
I had some paper and cardboard to join - which was easy - I used pritt stick.
For the more complex parts, I had to use the titular product: super glue.
Now, superglue is great for joining stuff together that doesn't want to join. It makes a really tough and permanent bond in fact.
This strength is one of its advantages. It is however, also one of its disadvantages for the inexperienced gluer.
Superglue, was invented during the second world war and was initially rejected for sticking to just about everything - an undesirable feature for weapons manufacturer.
Every time that I work with superglue, I end up glueing various different parts of my hands and fingers - which feels just terrible. I want to join stuff together - but not me! It's also nearly impossible to remove from your fingers - so you end up with a hard chitinous layer on your fingers.
This stuff won't come off for bloody days - and I'll end up picking at it. Even as I type, I am acutely aware that the ends of my fingers feel just too hard to be comfortable.
Bloody glue!
Rant over.
Showing posts with label annoying. Show all posts
Showing posts with label annoying. Show all posts
Sunday, 23 September 2012
Saturday, 21 April 2012
Rant 112 21/4/12 Subject: Vandalism
Rant number 112
There really are some fucking idiots out there!
This weekend, as per arrangements long standing. I took the waff over to Warrington, to see her folks and to attend the birthday party of a 1 year old lad.
The trip was uneventful, the trip pleasant and the nights sleep undisturbed.
The morning however was a bitch.
You see, the fuck heads of the land have been at work again - in their plan to fuck up this month for me well and truly.
You see, some stupid fucks went down the road yesterday - breaking wing mirrors - including one on my poor car.
I just don't get it. I really don't.
I understand thieves (I fucking hate them - but I understand,) they want what you have - or the money they can flog it for.
Vandals though - are just idiots. They have nothing to gain except maybe 30 seconds of entertainment. They don't think about the awkwardness of trying to sort out a wing-mirror to get home. They don't think about the upset or annoyance they cause. Maybe they do and don't care - or even get off on it.l If they do, it really is so much worse.
It's not just things like this either. How many bus stops have you seen with windows burnt, missing or scratched with poorly rendered graffiti. They are so stupid and childish that they want to make their own environment worse - how warped it that.
In my run of ironic payments - each and every vandal should have to wear a tattoo of a crudely drawn male member upon their forehead for all to see. Fucking idiots.
Rant over.
There really are some fucking idiots out there!
This weekend, as per arrangements long standing. I took the waff over to Warrington, to see her folks and to attend the birthday party of a 1 year old lad.
The trip was uneventful, the trip pleasant and the nights sleep undisturbed.
The morning however was a bitch.
You see, the fuck heads of the land have been at work again - in their plan to fuck up this month for me well and truly.
You see, some stupid fucks went down the road yesterday - breaking wing mirrors - including one on my poor car.
I just don't get it. I really don't.
I understand thieves (I fucking hate them - but I understand,) they want what you have - or the money they can flog it for.
Vandals though - are just idiots. They have nothing to gain except maybe 30 seconds of entertainment. They don't think about the awkwardness of trying to sort out a wing-mirror to get home. They don't think about the upset or annoyance they cause. Maybe they do and don't care - or even get off on it.l If they do, it really is so much worse.
It's not just things like this either. How many bus stops have you seen with windows burnt, missing or scratched with poorly rendered graffiti. They are so stupid and childish that they want to make their own environment worse - how warped it that.
In my run of ironic payments - each and every vandal should have to wear a tattoo of a crudely drawn male member upon their forehead for all to see. Fucking idiots.
Rant over.
Friday, 2 March 2012
Rant 62 - 02/3/12 Subject: Other peoples mail
Rant number 62
Mr Rafferty, this one is for you!
_________________________
In the modern world, most of us do not live in brand new houses - which means, quite simply that our addresses are not brand new either. Ipso facto your address has been used in the past - to accumulate a variety of someone else's flotsam and jetsam of mail.
And now they've gone, they have left it behind for you to enjoy.
Bastards!
Junk mail is an unavoidable part of the modern world. We've all got it one way or another. Sometimes its just addressed to 'the occupier'(who I would like to imagine is some kind of house midget who keeps stealing all of my socks,) which is just lazy and really annoying.
Sometimes its address to you - which is equally annoying (you'll have written your address in the wrong place - or not ticked the right place or just been caught out) and completely hateful. At least its for you though.
The worst of all however, comes addressed to someone you've never heard of (except on previous irritating pieces of junk mail) and will never meet. Its shit is what it is.
That they have probably moved with the explicit purpose of escaping their awful junk filled lives is no doubt lost on the bastards who just keep sending it in the vain hope that they may take them up on the offer of a shiny new credit card or hot tub.
Why can't they just stop sending it after a couple of months of realising that no-one is there. Half the time even putting 'not at address' and putting it back in the mailbox does nothing whatsoever to improve matters.
I really do hope that there is a particularly unpleasant corner of hell reserved for junk mail idiots.
I would also like to think that their punishment involved a large pile of junk mail, an industrial sized shredder, a junk mailers bottom and a forcing motion...
Rant over.
Mr Rafferty, this one is for you!
_________________________
In the modern world, most of us do not live in brand new houses - which means, quite simply that our addresses are not brand new either. Ipso facto your address has been used in the past - to accumulate a variety of someone else's flotsam and jetsam of mail.
And now they've gone, they have left it behind for you to enjoy.
Bastards!
Junk mail is an unavoidable part of the modern world. We've all got it one way or another. Sometimes its just addressed to 'the occupier'(who I would like to imagine is some kind of house midget who keeps stealing all of my socks,) which is just lazy and really annoying.
Sometimes its address to you - which is equally annoying (you'll have written your address in the wrong place - or not ticked the right place or just been caught out) and completely hateful. At least its for you though.
The worst of all however, comes addressed to someone you've never heard of (except on previous irritating pieces of junk mail) and will never meet. Its shit is what it is.
That they have probably moved with the explicit purpose of escaping their awful junk filled lives is no doubt lost on the bastards who just keep sending it in the vain hope that they may take them up on the offer of a shiny new credit card or hot tub.
Why can't they just stop sending it after a couple of months of realising that no-one is there. Half the time even putting 'not at address' and putting it back in the mailbox does nothing whatsoever to improve matters.
I really do hope that there is a particularly unpleasant corner of hell reserved for junk mail idiots.
I would also like to think that their punishment involved a large pile of junk mail, an industrial sized shredder, a junk mailers bottom and a forcing motion...
Rant over.
Wednesday, 15 February 2012
Rant 46 - 15/2/12 Subject: The pathetic excuse monger I heard about today.
Rant number 46
On the way home from work today, being a creature of common habit - I listened to radio 1's Newsbeat.
Newsbeat is useful, as it summarises the news that has been happening whilst I've been stuck at work all day. Its also quite light and airy and tends to not spoil my revelry at heading homeward.
Its format is simple. They talk about a couple of news stories - then find some kind of oik or oiks to interview. I don't know where they find these idiots - but its almost always entertaining to listen to their uninformed, naive and shortsighted (chavvy) opinions.
Today however, was just a little different. The subject was about the rising levels of unemployment (particularly amongst our youngsters alas.) We all know its happening, and its really not something we can fix ourselves.
As per usual, the format was followed and they found someone to interview. The thing is, rather than amuse me today with this guys idiocy, I felt a combination of pity that someone like this exists, and seething rage at his complete lack of giving a shit.
After finding his name (and the respective interview) on the Newsbeat website (find it at http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/17038484 if you would like to be annoyed too,) I would like to pass on a message to Ben Gillet - should he ever come across this rant:
Suck it up and grow a pair!
Yes, life is hard. Yes, jobs have become scarce. Yes its hard to find jobs as a young person.
But you are 25 you wanker (a year younger than I am,) grow up and stop making excuses.
He has been out of work for 3 years, and now - rather than trying to get another job - he spends his time playing video-games. He also kept up a smoking habit and yet stated it was too expensive to spend money getting in to town each day.
I have never been long term unemployed. In fact, after being made redundant from my last job, it took me a total of 10 working days to get another one. Any job can be challenging, but I have too much self pride to take handouts - like so many of us that work hard every day.
It seems to me, that he is too busy feeling hard done by to treat job-seeking like a job, because it should be! There may be less jobs than there should be, but if you are not picky - the work is out there! This wanker spends all of his time playing computer games. I like games - but I only get a limited chance to play them outside of my adult life.
A member of staff started recently at my work, at a younger age and with no work experience. This was because she made the right effort, put herself out there and made the effort.
I am not really trying to pick on this guy in particular - I know that some other people have been out of work for a while too. I'd like to think however that they are making more effort than this imbecile.
Its just frustrating to work so hard, pay so much tax in a country that is struggling - and see someone so defeated by themselves. No-one is going to give anyone a chance who is so self defeating.
That the jobseekers office has allowed this to happen is almost worse. Has no-one thought of putting him onto some kind of work program or something? Even some voluntary work would be of an advantage at this point.
With this guys weedling entitled tone, it seems little surprise that he has not found himself some kind of job.
It really annoyed me. Listen to the interview if you want and see what you think.
Rant over.
On the way home from work today, being a creature of common habit - I listened to radio 1's Newsbeat.
Newsbeat is useful, as it summarises the news that has been happening whilst I've been stuck at work all day. Its also quite light and airy and tends to not spoil my revelry at heading homeward.
Its format is simple. They talk about a couple of news stories - then find some kind of oik or oiks to interview. I don't know where they find these idiots - but its almost always entertaining to listen to their uninformed, naive and shortsighted (chavvy) opinions.
Today however, was just a little different. The subject was about the rising levels of unemployment (particularly amongst our youngsters alas.) We all know its happening, and its really not something we can fix ourselves.
As per usual, the format was followed and they found someone to interview. The thing is, rather than amuse me today with this guys idiocy, I felt a combination of pity that someone like this exists, and seething rage at his complete lack of giving a shit.
After finding his name (and the respective interview) on the Newsbeat website (find it at http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/17038484 if you would like to be annoyed too,) I would like to pass on a message to Ben Gillet - should he ever come across this rant:
Suck it up and grow a pair!
Yes, life is hard. Yes, jobs have become scarce. Yes its hard to find jobs as a young person.
But you are 25 you wanker (a year younger than I am,) grow up and stop making excuses.
He has been out of work for 3 years, and now - rather than trying to get another job - he spends his time playing video-games. He also kept up a smoking habit and yet stated it was too expensive to spend money getting in to town each day.
I have never been long term unemployed. In fact, after being made redundant from my last job, it took me a total of 10 working days to get another one. Any job can be challenging, but I have too much self pride to take handouts - like so many of us that work hard every day.
It seems to me, that he is too busy feeling hard done by to treat job-seeking like a job, because it should be! There may be less jobs than there should be, but if you are not picky - the work is out there! This wanker spends all of his time playing computer games. I like games - but I only get a limited chance to play them outside of my adult life.
A member of staff started recently at my work, at a younger age and with no work experience. This was because she made the right effort, put herself out there and made the effort.
I am not really trying to pick on this guy in particular - I know that some other people have been out of work for a while too. I'd like to think however that they are making more effort than this imbecile.
Its just frustrating to work so hard, pay so much tax in a country that is struggling - and see someone so defeated by themselves. No-one is going to give anyone a chance who is so self defeating.
That the jobseekers office has allowed this to happen is almost worse. Has no-one thought of putting him onto some kind of work program or something? Even some voluntary work would be of an advantage at this point.
With this guys weedling entitled tone, it seems little surprise that he has not found himself some kind of job.
It really annoyed me. Listen to the interview if you want and see what you think.
Rant over.
Monday, 23 January 2012
Rant 23 - 23/1/12 Subject: Roadworks
Rant number 23
This is one I literally can not put up with any longer. So rant I must and rant I shall.
Road works.
I understand that wear and tear is going to happen to our very busy road network.
I understand as such, that , occasionally some repairs will be needed to made to said road network.
I understand that this may involve at times coning off areas in order to make workers safe.
I understand all of this.
What I do not understand is why it takes so fucking long to do anything and why they need to cone off 74 miles of motor way at a time.
And - if you can explain the above to me. Why oh why (oh why oh why oh why etc) can I never see anyone working.
I've seen people looking at various pieces of equipment, scratching their heads as if to say 'I wonder what this one does, it looks very shiny...,' I've seen people tying themselves to barriers for safety and I've seen people talking in small groups.
I imagine that somewhere, a species of worker exists that we have never seen.
I imagine that they have 7 arms, 3 legs and 4 eyes, one on each side of their square heads.
I would like to think that these workers, (like some kind of yeti) can never be seen by us normal folk - but sneak out in gaps between traffic to do a teeny bit of work - whilst the normal humanoid workers look on in confusion. Because they are so scared of us 'norms' (yes thats what they probably call us) they have to keep hiding again.
This is - to me - the only plausible explanation for why it takes them so long to cover only a small distance of road.
As to why it is required to cone off 74 miles of motorway at once. This is a mystery that I cannot solve.
Currently there are - that affect me on my normal routes:
Roadworks on the road to the motorway: reduced speed by 10mph+1 lane reduced
Roadworks upon my morning commute: reduced speed to 50mph+average speed cameras.
Roadworks on my return journey: reduced speed to 50mph+average speed camera + reduced lane & 10mph reduced speed.
Roadworks going to band: Once again reduced speed by 20mph
Roadworks coming back from back: Once again, reduced speed by 20mph.
Yet more roadworks coming back from band x2 + reduced 1 lane + -10mph.
I just wish they could come up with a better way of doing things, and like - you know work a bit faster.
Or maybe, they could cone off a little bit less - work a bit more efficiently and not drive me round the frickin' bend!
Rant over.
Sunday, 22 January 2012
Rant 22 - 22/1/12 Subject: Bad advertising
Rant number 22
I don't often watch that much TV, however on a cold dark miserable Sunday, I will often flick through what's on the idiot lantern.
Often there is some films on, which are worth watching - or something repeated that I had intended to watch.
Today was such a day (dusky by 2pm) and thoroughly cold and miserable. So - I did do a little channel flicking.
Are adverts ever bloody annoying
Star wars characters can be used to sell phone plans from particular networks or brown goods (Yoda for phones, Darth for Brown goods - because presumably these are the more evil?)
Meercats & fat men, sell car insurance - endlessly.
Bank employees host bad radio programs (ISA ISA baby....)
The list goes on and on!
The thing is, do they really feel that they can sell me a product by getting on my nerves? I mean really? Is that the kind of connection they want to make in my head.
And these are at least the kind of adverts that you can understand.
Those that create perfume adverts for instance - have no restriction within their brief that says that they actually have to identify the product in question. They just have to connect a vague thematic smorgasbord together with some dramatic music.
Then there are those that try and sell you the lifestyle of the product in question. I've just seen one for Quaker Oats that sell you the lifestyle of a fitness freak who is happy in his life and work life and who is going to live to the ripe old age of 750.
Shit a brick - Someone get me a box pronto!
I understand that products need to be advertised. I just wish that they could be a bit sensible about it. I don't want to hear a generic cartoon character singing about car insurance to the tune of YMCA - particularly not one who seems to have hidden her microphone somewhere decidedly dodgy (watch closely next time you see the confused.com add...)
I also don't want to see the same adverts that have been used for years. You have got your product into my consciousness on the last 7000 viewings. I don't need to see it again unless you have something new to say.
Part of me - like many of my friends, would like to go down the route of only watching things online on catchup services. The thing is - many of these now insist on getting adverts in also. They are also subject of my internet connection behaving itself, and the proviso of watching yet more adverts should their be some kind of error with the stream.
I hope that one of these days, their will be some way to avoid them altogether. The closest you can currently get is to use a PVR, never watch anything live & to fast forward everything.
I hate bloody adverts
Rant over.
I don't often watch that much TV, however on a cold dark miserable Sunday, I will often flick through what's on the idiot lantern.
Often there is some films on, which are worth watching - or something repeated that I had intended to watch.
Today was such a day (dusky by 2pm) and thoroughly cold and miserable. So - I did do a little channel flicking.
Are adverts ever bloody annoying
Star wars characters can be used to sell phone plans from particular networks or brown goods (Yoda for phones, Darth for Brown goods - because presumably these are the more evil?)
Meercats & fat men, sell car insurance - endlessly.
Bank employees host bad radio programs (ISA ISA baby....)
The list goes on and on!
The thing is, do they really feel that they can sell me a product by getting on my nerves? I mean really? Is that the kind of connection they want to make in my head.
And these are at least the kind of adverts that you can understand.
Those that create perfume adverts for instance - have no restriction within their brief that says that they actually have to identify the product in question. They just have to connect a vague thematic smorgasbord together with some dramatic music.
Then there are those that try and sell you the lifestyle of the product in question. I've just seen one for Quaker Oats that sell you the lifestyle of a fitness freak who is happy in his life and work life and who is going to live to the ripe old age of 750.
Shit a brick - Someone get me a box pronto!
I understand that products need to be advertised. I just wish that they could be a bit sensible about it. I don't want to hear a generic cartoon character singing about car insurance to the tune of YMCA - particularly not one who seems to have hidden her microphone somewhere decidedly dodgy (watch closely next time you see the confused.com add...)
I also don't want to see the same adverts that have been used for years. You have got your product into my consciousness on the last 7000 viewings. I don't need to see it again unless you have something new to say.
Part of me - like many of my friends, would like to go down the route of only watching things online on catchup services. The thing is - many of these now insist on getting adverts in also. They are also subject of my internet connection behaving itself, and the proviso of watching yet more adverts should their be some kind of error with the stream.
I hope that one of these days, their will be some way to avoid them altogether. The closest you can currently get is to use a PVR, never watch anything live & to fast forward everything.
I hate bloody adverts
Rant over.
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