Rant 14 - 14/1/12 Subject: The ongoing saga of T-mobile & the artificially positive countenance

Rant number 14

The day after my phone broke, I phoned up T-mobiles customer service. I went through the rigmarole of the overzealous, over-specific and - quintessentially pointless auto-attendant (press #1 if you are loosing your will to live, press #2 if you would like us to courier you a cyanide pill to end it all etc etc.)

Finally, after going through no less than 57 options - it was (surprise surprise) ascertained that my problem was not to be solved by an chirpy digital woman. As such - I was finally put through to a human.....

In India

That she was not able to repair my phone was, not of a great surprise either, however - she was at least friendly. 

She was reluctant she said, to organise for my phone to be collected - as it could be the fault was of my doing (for like - actually using the phone you know.) She instead suggested that I take it to my local T-mobile shop.

Which I did today

Which is wear the 'smiler' came in.

I don't mind people in shops trying to be friendly. I've worked in shops - and getting on with people is often the best way to deal with them!

What I really - really - really - really - really - don't like, is people who's smiles are so forced and artificial - that they had just as well write 'fuck you' in tippex across their forehead.

So - I showed her my phone, showed her its problem and explained that the nice lady on the phone had said that they would be able to tell me if the issue was likely covered etc.

The answer to this from smiley tippex face?

'Sorry, we're not technicians. I wouldn't really know'

So why did the dosey bitch on the phone tell me you fucking would!?????

I kept my calm and counted to ten none the less. Which is when smiley dropped another bomb.

'Have you backed up your phone? They will wipe it when they repair?'

The answer of course is no. My phone will not charge- thus ipso facto, I have not been able to back it up. I think to be honest, that its a rather stupid thing to ask. 

May I point out also - that the fault with the phone - is mechanical.

It won't charge - so just needs a new charging port. So why do they need to wipe the software? Its ridiculous. 

I pointed this out to smiley tippex face fuck you lady very politely. And what did she say?

'They do it automatically. Its data protection?'

I'm not asking them to delve into the phone - nor even turn it on, beyond a simple test. I don't even want them to unlock the bloody thing. How does that violate anyones human rights....

Regardless- 'the thing is broken' I think. They'll just have to do it. 

And thats when smiley tippex face fuck you lady drops yet another little bomb - 'It will generally take between 2-3 weeks to repair this kind of phone. If they need parts however nearer to 5-6 or, if it has to go back to htc - maybe 8-9. '

And all through this, she's smiling her cheerful fucking grin and no doubt wishing I would fuck off.

At least 3 weeks for a simple repair and a known fault on this bloody handset. I mean - I could probably do this job my bloody self - but felt it was better to not void the phones warranty. 

My frustration really is that it is not a complex job. In a repair centre, they will not bother to even re-solder the affected component. Just replace the board.

This - for a professional cannot take more than - lets call it an hour, including testing and wiping my fucking data - even though it's not needed.

If you then take into account a day each way for transport - I still make that 456 hours - in which my phone will be sitting as an expensive paperweight. And that's apparently the minimum!

What a bloody saga!

Rant over.

Rant 8 - 8/1/12 Subject: My dependence on my phone

Rant number 8


Somewhere between Friday evening and Saturday night - my phone has buggered itself. In itself, this is not a huge problem to me.

My phone (a HTC desire,) has been a moderate & ever increasing disappointment. My phone you see, is a microcosm of the modern world. It tries to look good, it tries to impress, it tries to do everything and - in most of the ways that matter it does just that.

The issue is, everything that isn't that most, is in fact, the stuff that matters.

From the very beginning for instance, it's battery life has been a point of constant annoyance.

Talk about fatal bloody flaw! 

The phone can play videos, music, deal with ebooks and word documents, play games and entertain me in myriad different ways. It has a touch screen which works pretty well and a great big pretty screen.

But I can't use it (even when my phone works) much. Because I might occasionally have to use it as a phone - and the battery is bound to be dead when I try.

It's also slow, laggy, cheaply manufactured (thus the brokeness) out of inappropriate materials, and switches itself off for a variety of reasons that are of a complete mystery.

You get the idea

To get back on track to my point however, I need to confess something about my phone:-
It drives me round the bend, it's just not that good

but

I cannot live without the bloody thing!

None of us can you see. 

In the last 15 years or so, a mobile phone has gone from being a mere method of communication to a multi-media, camera, music playing, all singing, all dancing, social networking wonder device. This is great in some ways, it really is - but leaves us so dependent on our little rectangular companions. 

In turn -nearly all of us have let other devices fall by the wayside - a loss that we only feel when the unimaginable happens.

To give you it in context:-

I use my phone to wake me in the morning - so have no other form of alarm clock

I use my phone to take pictures ad hoc - so I don't have to carry my camera everywhere

I use my phone to play music when I'm out and about - so I don't need to carry an MP3

I use my phone to keep up with social networks - so I don't have to carry a computer

I use my phone to keep in touch wife my wife - my family and my friends, so I don't have to carry around around a kg of pocket change.

I even use it to keep up with my blog!

In short - at the moment I feel a little bit naked. What if someone wants to call me at this moment!? How do I wake up in the morning!? How will be able to google random things to amuse myself!?

When on earth did my phone become such an appendage to me. It's not like I've lost my spleen is it!?

My own dependence puts me to shame!

Rant over.