Rant 113 22/4/12 Sub Shop staff who don't know/don't care

Rant number 113


Proper business resumes. I now have access to a proper keyboard on a proper computer again - so my rants can now again look proper!

Anyway - now onwards with the rants.

As mentioned yesterday - some little reprobates decided that much fun could be had by breaking my wing mirror on Friday evening. This put me in a distinctly bad mood - but there we go.

Because the car was at the in-laws in Warrington at the time, I was rather stuck. You can't go driving around without a right hand mirror - its a really terrible idea! Luckily, we are covered by the nice folks at the AA. For a small fee- the guy was able to obtain some replacement mirror glass for me.

Great that except - he only managed to find a left hand mirror. This involved somewhat of a bodge - and really made for a slightly rubbish view.

None the less, we got home safe and sound - and today I've sorted it properly (give or take a new cover.)
Which - via a rather long preamble, brings me to my point.

As soon as I knew I needed the mirror glass - I got on the phone to Halfords. I know that they aren't great- but they generally have a good selection of parts. Unfortunately, according to the man on the end of the phone - they didn't have one. A shame that - as it meant we had to bodge it with the left hand one.

Today - I really wanted to get it sorted and safe - so I phoned up our Halfords. Much to my dismay, the answer was the same 'sorry mate, we ain't got nothing.' Not to be dismayed however, I took a template of the mirror as best as I could and thought I would get a similar mirror or a generic one that would fit.

Except.


I walked into Halfords, found the mirrors in a rack and - within 2 minutes found the one to fit my car. Not a similar one. An exact one.

Now, there are a few scenarios here aren't there. To summarise:

1) The store had a delivery on a Sunday and - in the hour between us speaking to him and us visiting the store - a mirror was unpacked from the delivery and put out.
2) The mirror fairy waved his magic wand over the mirrors and made sure that one was waiting for me...
3) I have actually bought completely the wrong mirror - even though it says its the right one and fits perfectly
4) The lazy fucker couldn't be arced to look.

I wonder...

Its the easiest thing in the world to just say no and not even look for something - it just seems so lazy and unpleasant though. Even if their computer systems don't work, there was a sheet with all the fitting mirrors  in front of the section. You just need to look at it - could he not have checked? He works in the fucking place. If it took us two minutes - it should have taken him 30 seconds.

It also makes me wonder if the same thing happened in Warrington. Could I have saved myself money, time and stress by walking in and looking for myself? Did someone lie to me there too for the want of getting off their fat asses and looking.

The whole thing exasperates me!

Rant over.

Rant 24 - 24/1/12 Subject: Household products

Rant number 24


Today was washing up day. Whilst I scrubbed plates and looked at cutlery with much contempt - one thought was paramount in my mind.


Housework is a bit rubbish.

This may come as a bit of a surprise to all of you I know.

I hate to have to break such bad news. I really do.

But it is. It's shit really.


Luckily, many household products exist, to take the pain out of these tasks.

Lucky that




But I, like a proverbial dark cloud must break yet more bad news (sorry - I feel positively awful, I really do)

Household products are also a bit rubbish.

They promise the Earth...

'No soaking' for instance. Put this in your washing up bowl and the dirt will practically wave a white flag of surrender and run for the hills.

Washing powders will remove stains faster, better and more damn awesomely than all of the rest - and all at 12 degrees centigrade, whilst saving water, being kind to your clothes and making you smell like fresh fields.

Bathroom cleaners remove limescale like magic, kill 99.99999999 percent of germs, make your loo shine  (you should be able to eat your tea off em) make your bath sparkle, and all with the gossamer touch of an Angel (and a jaunty pine fragrance.

Floor cleaners remove red wine, ink or blood - and make your carpet like new...

And finally, but no means least on my list 'Bang and the Dirt is Gone!'

Its all crap though. All cleaning is hard work - otherwise we would love doing it and all of our homes and places of business would sparkle.
Some washing up will always need soaking and even then takes a fair bit of elbow grease.

Washing powders are not magic, and often don't work particularly well - whether they are tablets, powder, liquid tabs or whatever ridiculous idea they will come up with next.

Bathroom cleaning is often difficult, rather gross and tends to make the place smell like a mortuary(as in that clinical smell of bleach - not as in dead bodies - unless you are doing something wrong)

Floor cleaners don't ever seem to work. They just spread the stain over a bigger surface area so that, if you squint a bit it seems to faded.

What Cillit bang don't tell you is that you need to spray the product on then wait for 6 hours, make a small incantation and sell your soul to make it work.

I know that these things will always be hard and accept that miracles are not possible. What I wish for however is some more realistic claims. Oh and a maid would be nice...

Rant over.