Rant number 366
Bloody hell. That was a long time coming. I've been thinking of and fantasising about writing those words for quite some time now and the stupid thing is now, that I almost feel a little sad to be writing the last one.
There has been plenty to write about in 2012, personally and in the media. To put it frankly - it was a bit of a annus horribilis.
This year I had many new experiences. I was burgled, had a small car accident (killing my first animal (a sheep) in the process) and lost my keys (a very costly error.) In the news, there was injustice and misery, green on blue attacks, massacres, perversity and many more bad things.
On the other hand, I had a great year of banding with some really brilliant friends, I spent some time with my friends, my wonderful wife and made new ones. I watched some great movies and some that sucked royally.
So if I look back on the optimism I felt at this time last year, I cannot either chastise or sympathise with the me then. I had a hard year in 2011 for different reasons and felt that 2012 was going to be my year. It wasn't though evidently.
On reflection, a year is just an arbitrary measure of the years cycle and there isn't any magic to it. This year wasn't mine - and doubtless next year will have its own moments of pain, anguish, joy, mirth and unadulterated fun.
I say fuck this year for its pain, but thank it for its joy. On balance, I will make my own luck, I expect nothing from 2013 but all it can throw at me.
To all of you have read a few, some, most or even all of our rants, I thank you for sharing this experience with me. I hope that I've amused you, entertained you and also - If you needed it, I've let you know you aren't alone in irritation, anger or hurt.
You will be glad to hear I'm going to carry on blogging - and rants will be included. They won't be the only attraction however, so I hope you enjoy what I have to say on other topics.
I think that about wraps it up then. Thanks again for reading.
And, if you will indulge me the slight bastardisation on this occasion.
Rants over.
Monday, 31 December 2012
Sunday, 30 December 2012
Rant 365 30/12/12 Subject: Thinking of rants
Rant number 365
If I hadn't forgotten that this year was a bloody leap year, this would have been the last day of my rants. As it is - despite my error in naming my blog - I will follow it through to the end and rant tomorrow too.
Consider yourselves bloody lucky!
Hell, when you've come up with 365 subjects, one more isn't that hard.
The truth of the matter is though - that it has been hard at times. 366 different subjects to get angry about and, more importantly - 366 subjects to be articulate about.
Your mood you see, can really effect how you feel about subjects and how much they deserve a rant. On some days - even someone like me has their good days and just doesn't feel that the world deserves ranting about.
The subjects covered have been hugely varied too. From personal hates (Twilight, which is fucking shit!) to tongue in cheek silliness (the cake mix conundrum) to things that really make me mad (David Cameron you cunt, I'm looking at you,) it's taken a real effort sometimes to work out what subjects to cover.
I hope that you've enjoyed them anyway and that you didn't think I repeated myself (a real worry!)
One more to go.
Rant over.
If I hadn't forgotten that this year was a bloody leap year, this would have been the last day of my rants. As it is - despite my error in naming my blog - I will follow it through to the end and rant tomorrow too.
Consider yourselves bloody lucky!
Hell, when you've come up with 365 subjects, one more isn't that hard.
The truth of the matter is though - that it has been hard at times. 366 different subjects to get angry about and, more importantly - 366 subjects to be articulate about.
Your mood you see, can really effect how you feel about subjects and how much they deserve a rant. On some days - even someone like me has their good days and just doesn't feel that the world deserves ranting about.
The subjects covered have been hugely varied too. From personal hates (Twilight, which is fucking shit!) to tongue in cheek silliness (the cake mix conundrum) to things that really make me mad (David Cameron you cunt, I'm looking at you,) it's taken a real effort sometimes to work out what subjects to cover.
I hope that you've enjoyed them anyway and that you didn't think I repeated myself (a real worry!)
One more to go.
Rant over.
Saturday, 29 December 2012
Rant 364 29/12/12 Subject: Tv adaptations
Rant number 364
I have just sat down to watch a Tv adaptation of a Stephen King Novel. Not the first I've watched or last no doubt.
The rant isn't about this particular adaptation, or this particular story. It goes on too long for me to be able to report on that.
The fact of the matter is though - that it's probably going to suck.
Firstly - it's rather long (it finishes in around 3 hours time, which - even with adverts gives it some serious run time!) and secondly - it appears to have one A lister in it (ex James Bond star and well past it Pierce Brosnan.)
As to why I am watching it? I like horror, I like Stephen King and because I am boundlessly optimistic that it will not suck ass like all the other straight to video stuff I've seen before.
It probably will though.
The reasons for this are simple enough. Tv films are poorly funded, poorly acted and poorly directed. Look at the Tv version of the Shining compared to the Kubrick Masterpiece. It's far closer to the book, feels like its about 7 years long and stinks like a fortnight old dog turd.
They're an easy draw and easy money for the author. It's just a shame that they aren't very good whatsoever!
Anyway, I'm going to continue with my brain enema now. Wish me luck.
Rant over.
I have just sat down to watch a Tv adaptation of a Stephen King Novel. Not the first I've watched or last no doubt.
The rant isn't about this particular adaptation, or this particular story. It goes on too long for me to be able to report on that.
The fact of the matter is though - that it's probably going to suck.
Firstly - it's rather long (it finishes in around 3 hours time, which - even with adverts gives it some serious run time!) and secondly - it appears to have one A lister in it (ex James Bond star and well past it Pierce Brosnan.)
As to why I am watching it? I like horror, I like Stephen King and because I am boundlessly optimistic that it will not suck ass like all the other straight to video stuff I've seen before.
It probably will though.
The reasons for this are simple enough. Tv films are poorly funded, poorly acted and poorly directed. Look at the Tv version of the Shining compared to the Kubrick Masterpiece. It's far closer to the book, feels like its about 7 years long and stinks like a fortnight old dog turd.
They're an easy draw and easy money for the author. It's just a shame that they aren't very good whatsoever!
Anyway, I'm going to continue with my brain enema now. Wish me luck.
Rant over.
Friday, 28 December 2012
Rant 363 28/12/12 Subject: Things my body cannot fix
Rant number 363
As mentioned yesterday, this morning I had my ears syringed. It did need doing (and apparently I need the other doing next week - joy.)
With that in mind, syringing sounds quite civilised doesn't it? It suggests that they get a syringe and, I dunno - suck the stuff out with it probably?
The reality is that they take a jet washer of sorts, ram it in your ear and flood your ear canal with little pulses of water until all the wax comes out. It's done the job and its a great relief. I felt dizzy for hours though, and a little bit seasick.
I'm not actually complaining about the procedure (though I think that they could give it a more accurate name such as high pressure ear enema.) As I said, it needed doing. What bothers me, is my bodies inability to fix these kind of things now I'm older.
Give or take a broken bone and a chest infection, I don't remember having anything more than over the counter remedies up until I was about 18.
Yes, I was poorly (chicken pocs, measles, colds and flu.) Everyone is ill from time to time. Everything I had though, I could shift in a few days. Colds and flu didn't stop me in my tracks like they can now. I could fix things myself practically without fail.
These days though, I seem to need to go to the doctors for antibiotics and the like, and it's crap.
What's happened to my beast of an immune system? Where did it go?
I wish it would come back - that's for sure!
Rant over.
As mentioned yesterday, this morning I had my ears syringed. It did need doing (and apparently I need the other doing next week - joy.)
With that in mind, syringing sounds quite civilised doesn't it? It suggests that they get a syringe and, I dunno - suck the stuff out with it probably?
The reality is that they take a jet washer of sorts, ram it in your ear and flood your ear canal with little pulses of water until all the wax comes out. It's done the job and its a great relief. I felt dizzy for hours though, and a little bit seasick.
I'm not actually complaining about the procedure (though I think that they could give it a more accurate name such as high pressure ear enema.) As I said, it needed doing. What bothers me, is my bodies inability to fix these kind of things now I'm older.
Give or take a broken bone and a chest infection, I don't remember having anything more than over the counter remedies up until I was about 18.
Yes, I was poorly (chicken pocs, measles, colds and flu.) Everyone is ill from time to time. Everything I had though, I could shift in a few days. Colds and flu didn't stop me in my tracks like they can now. I could fix things myself practically without fail.
These days though, I seem to need to go to the doctors for antibiotics and the like, and it's crap.
What's happened to my beast of an immune system? Where did it go?
I wish it would come back - that's for sure!
Rant over.
Thursday, 27 December 2012
Rant 362 27/12/12 Subject: Anticipation
Rant number 362
A great man once said 'expect the worse and you won't be disappointed.'
It's a bleak and grim statement - but it's bloody true. I'd you don't expect anything better - how could you be disappointed?
It is however, a human trait to torture ourselves with things that are yet to happen - just in order to guard ourselves against the bad stuff.
Tomorrow, I'm off to get my ear syringed - which is perfectly routine and has been done to millions of people over the years.
I can't help but worry about it however. It feels crap now - but I can't help but worry its going to feel horrid once it's done.
The thing is as well- that the things we dread are, more often than not, an awful lot better in reality than what we are dreading.
That being the case then- why do we even bother to worry? It's not necessary!
Rant over.
A great man once said 'expect the worse and you won't be disappointed.'
It's a bleak and grim statement - but it's bloody true. I'd you don't expect anything better - how could you be disappointed?
It is however, a human trait to torture ourselves with things that are yet to happen - just in order to guard ourselves against the bad stuff.
Tomorrow, I'm off to get my ear syringed - which is perfectly routine and has been done to millions of people over the years.
I can't help but worry about it however. It feels crap now - but I can't help but worry its going to feel horrid once it's done.
The thing is as well- that the things we dread are, more often than not, an awful lot better in reality than what we are dreading.
That being the case then- why do we even bother to worry? It's not necessary!
Rant over.
Wednesday, 26 December 2012
Rant 361 26/12/12 Subject: Distractions
Rant number 361
Christmas was lovely, great food, my wife spoiled me rotten and I finally got to sit down and watch some films.
As of about a week ago however, I've been suffering from an ear infection - followed by a serious case of flu.
As such- I didn't really enjoy myself as much as I wanted. As well as expelling another phlegm to fill a bath tub and sneezing enough times to send the earth slightly off it's axis, I've also had trouble sleeping and a near constant head/ear ache.
Now it does seem this is subsiding now - but it makes you want to lie in bed/on the sofa snuggled up, rather than doing anything much else. Which is why I've exe somewhat distracted with this rant too.
It's not late - but I meant to do it earlier and felt so shitty I didn't.
As of Friday - the ear should be sorted so if I can shift the flu too - we will be in business!
In the meantime - if anyone has the need for a large quantity of phlegm - I'm your man...
Rant over.
Christmas was lovely, great food, my wife spoiled me rotten and I finally got to sit down and watch some films.
As of about a week ago however, I've been suffering from an ear infection - followed by a serious case of flu.
As such- I didn't really enjoy myself as much as I wanted. As well as expelling another phlegm to fill a bath tub and sneezing enough times to send the earth slightly off it's axis, I've also had trouble sleeping and a near constant head/ear ache.
Now it does seem this is subsiding now - but it makes you want to lie in bed/on the sofa snuggled up, rather than doing anything much else. Which is why I've exe somewhat distracted with this rant too.
It's not late - but I meant to do it earlier and felt so shitty I didn't.
As of Friday - the ear should be sorted so if I can shift the flu too - we will be in business!
In the meantime - if anyone has the need for a large quantity of phlegm - I'm your man...
Rant over.
Tuesday, 25 December 2012
Rant 360 25/12/12 Subject: Ranting
Rant number 360
Today is - incase you hadn't noticed, Christmas. Be it a religious holiday, the birth of gods son (who is also simultaneously god as well) it's a special day.
For me that's not a religious thing, it's a family thing. I spend it with my wife, speak to my loved ones and eat too much food.
It is as such, not a day for rants and anger. It's a time to be grateful for the things we have and the things we love.
It's not a time to complain - so I'm not going to!
Rant over.
Today is - incase you hadn't noticed, Christmas. Be it a religious holiday, the birth of gods son (who is also simultaneously god as well) it's a special day.
For me that's not a religious thing, it's a family thing. I spend it with my wife, speak to my loved ones and eat too much food.
It is as such, not a day for rants and anger. It's a time to be grateful for the things we have and the things we love.
It's not a time to complain - so I'm not going to!
Rant over.
Monday, 24 December 2012
Rant 359 24/12/12 Subject: Always with the negativity
Rant number 359
Now, I know this probably isn't actually a very valid point in some ways - coming from a man who has ranted for 360 consecutive days and counting.
I must say however, that on today - Christmas eve, when all should be full of cheer etc - Facebook is still flooded with some bloody miserable messages about politics and the like.
Nothing can be done at this stage can it? No - not for a few days. That being the case then, why do people have to be sharing the say negative memes and generally miserable rubbish as ever?
I know the world sucks and is unequal and unfair. I also know that this isn't going to change just because of someones whining bloody memes - that no-one pays attention to.
If I can get in the Christmas spirit - I'm sure that these people can make the effort to stave off reminding us of the state of the world for a day or two.
And while we are on the subject more generally - how about going and fixing the worlds problems, rather than just talking about them on Facebook. I'm pretty sure that David Cameron isn't going to stop being a cunt just because you said he was one on Facebook - so if you are bothered either do something about it or shut up - at least for a couple of days.
And for anyone not reading on the morrow, have a good Christmas. I hope that Santa empties his sack into your stockings and all that...
Rant over.
Now, I know this probably isn't actually a very valid point in some ways - coming from a man who has ranted for 360 consecutive days and counting.
I must say however, that on today - Christmas eve, when all should be full of cheer etc - Facebook is still flooded with some bloody miserable messages about politics and the like.
Nothing can be done at this stage can it? No - not for a few days. That being the case then, why do people have to be sharing the say negative memes and generally miserable rubbish as ever?
I know the world sucks and is unequal and unfair. I also know that this isn't going to change just because of someones whining bloody memes - that no-one pays attention to.
If I can get in the Christmas spirit - I'm sure that these people can make the effort to stave off reminding us of the state of the world for a day or two.
And while we are on the subject more generally - how about going and fixing the worlds problems, rather than just talking about them on Facebook. I'm pretty sure that David Cameron isn't going to stop being a cunt just because you said he was one on Facebook - so if you are bothered either do something about it or shut up - at least for a couple of days.
And for anyone not reading on the morrow, have a good Christmas. I hope that Santa empties his sack into your stockings and all that...
Rant over.
Sunday, 23 December 2012
Rant 358 23/12/12 Subject: The lovely hitmen
Rant number 358
The wife has just popped on 'In Bruges.' Its not a bad movie whatsoever - though not my cup of tea.
It does however, one particularly daft - and much recurrent hollywood trope however, which I think is ridiculous.
The film is about a pair of hit men - who are a bit bungling and, most importantly quite nice.
Now, I don't know if its just me that thinks this, but I'd think that people who kill for a living are probably quite unpleasant people to be around. They aren't going to be slightly socially awkward - and thus inherently a little bit likeable in my opinion.
This follows on from other great movies - such as the fantastic but flawed Leon. All involved play out of their skins (my favourite Gary Oldman performance as the worlds most evil corrupt cop ever,) however, the whole underpinning feel of the piece is a bit forced.
Jean Reno plays a lonely, loveable guy who also seems a little simple. He realises the role well and with class however. I'm pretty sure that once again - this does not add up to being a good serial killer. I'm pretty sure you have to be a pretty cool calculating bastard to go knifing/shooting another person dead.
I just think its daft me. People who kill have to be - by advent of what they are doing, a little bit switched off. They don't train soldiers to be loveable, they train them to be able to kill without remorse. I'm pretty sure the same thing would apply to someone who just kills for money!
Just my thoughts on the matter!
Rant over.
The wife has just popped on 'In Bruges.' Its not a bad movie whatsoever - though not my cup of tea.
It does however, one particularly daft - and much recurrent hollywood trope however, which I think is ridiculous.
The film is about a pair of hit men - who are a bit bungling and, most importantly quite nice.
Now, I don't know if its just me that thinks this, but I'd think that people who kill for a living are probably quite unpleasant people to be around. They aren't going to be slightly socially awkward - and thus inherently a little bit likeable in my opinion.
This follows on from other great movies - such as the fantastic but flawed Leon. All involved play out of their skins (my favourite Gary Oldman performance as the worlds most evil corrupt cop ever,) however, the whole underpinning feel of the piece is a bit forced.
Jean Reno plays a lonely, loveable guy who also seems a little simple. He realises the role well and with class however. I'm pretty sure that once again - this does not add up to being a good serial killer. I'm pretty sure you have to be a pretty cool calculating bastard to go knifing/shooting another person dead.
I just think its daft me. People who kill have to be - by advent of what they are doing, a little bit switched off. They don't train soldiers to be loveable, they train them to be able to kill without remorse. I'm pretty sure the same thing would apply to someone who just kills for money!
Just my thoughts on the matter!
Rant over.
Saturday, 22 December 2012
Rant 357 22/12/12 Subject: Changing trains
Rant number 357
I am, as many rants previous will have suggested - a man who favours his own form of transport. Ipso facto - I drive everywhere I generally can.
The reasons for this I have already explained. To paraphrase essentially- I don't like to be surrounded by the generally public- who do not wash and who cough too much an who have rabies and cholera and the like.
Tonight however, some good friends were getting married and I fancied a drink - so I've got the train.
Typically however, this was harder than originally thought.
You see, you plan around a particular train to get you home at a particular time - which is then delayed/cancelled etc. just as you are waiting for it.
I've completely lost track of the amount of times this has happened to me. For a commuter - it must be completely infuriating. Yes the motorway can be a bitch - and sometimes it even gets closed. It never gets cancelled though - and there is always another way.
Trains are really crap - and I do not miss using them regularly!
Rant over.
I am, as many rants previous will have suggested - a man who favours his own form of transport. Ipso facto - I drive everywhere I generally can.
The reasons for this I have already explained. To paraphrase essentially- I don't like to be surrounded by the generally public- who do not wash and who cough too much an who have rabies and cholera and the like.
Tonight however, some good friends were getting married and I fancied a drink - so I've got the train.
Typically however, this was harder than originally thought.
You see, you plan around a particular train to get you home at a particular time - which is then delayed/cancelled etc. just as you are waiting for it.
I've completely lost track of the amount of times this has happened to me. For a commuter - it must be completely infuriating. Yes the motorway can be a bitch - and sometimes it even gets closed. It never gets cancelled though - and there is always another way.
Trains are really crap - and I do not miss using them regularly!
Rant over.
Friday, 21 December 2012
Rant 356 21/12/12 Subject: Falling at the last bloody hurdle
Rant number 356
Today, as you have noticed, my rant is a little bit late. Around 47 minutes at this point!
The reason for this is simple. I was at my works Christmas meal.
Now, before you jump to any easily jumped to conclusions - I was driving, so no I am not drunk!
Also, although there wasn't much mobile signal about - I probably could have got to somewhere for a quick upload - so once again, that isn't it either.
No, the reason is simply that I had a time, let my hair down (not literally, it was already down) and had a good time. Because of this - I got distracted and forgot I wasn't a normal person who doesn't have to find time to rant every bloody day for 366 bloody days!
It's an irritating trick for my irritating memory to have pulled on me so late in the day. I've not missed a day but I've stretched it a bit.
Still - the end is in sight now. I should be able to avoid it happening again.
Sorry folk!
Rant over.
Today, as you have noticed, my rant is a little bit late. Around 47 minutes at this point!
The reason for this is simple. I was at my works Christmas meal.
Now, before you jump to any easily jumped to conclusions - I was driving, so no I am not drunk!
Also, although there wasn't much mobile signal about - I probably could have got to somewhere for a quick upload - so once again, that isn't it either.
No, the reason is simply that I had a time, let my hair down (not literally, it was already down) and had a good time. Because of this - I got distracted and forgot I wasn't a normal person who doesn't have to find time to rant every bloody day for 366 bloody days!
It's an irritating trick for my irritating memory to have pulled on me so late in the day. I've not missed a day but I've stretched it a bit.
Still - the end is in sight now. I should be able to avoid it happening again.
Sorry folk!
Rant over.
Thursday, 20 December 2012
Rant 355 20/12/12 Subject: The End of the world
Rant number 355
Today is quite possibly, the last rant of all!
Not because its the end of my rants officially (there are still 11 of the sods to go.)
No it's because, apparently - tomorrow is the end of the world!
Now, I've already touched on this before, but it's a subject that does deserve further inspection.
There are many many ways that the world could end. Nuclear war, rogue asteroids, alien invasions, pandemics etc etc etc.
When it happens though, I have a sneaky suspicion that no one is going to give us plenty of notice.
Also, when the Mayans supposedly predicted the end of the world, they should have been a bit busier predicting their own end - which was quite a while ago!
The fact that the calendar ends tomorrow is because they simply couldn't imagine any further into the future. It's not a prophecy of doom - just a bit of an oversight really.
Then there is the fact that they didn't count leap years so that arbitrary point has already gone by!
As such the whole thing is complete crap.
Should the world end tomorrow though - feel free to give me an I told you so in the afterlife hey?
Rant over.
Today is quite possibly, the last rant of all!
Not because its the end of my rants officially (there are still 11 of the sods to go.)
No it's because, apparently - tomorrow is the end of the world!
Now, I've already touched on this before, but it's a subject that does deserve further inspection.
There are many many ways that the world could end. Nuclear war, rogue asteroids, alien invasions, pandemics etc etc etc.
When it happens though, I have a sneaky suspicion that no one is going to give us plenty of notice.
Also, when the Mayans supposedly predicted the end of the world, they should have been a bit busier predicting their own end - which was quite a while ago!
The fact that the calendar ends tomorrow is because they simply couldn't imagine any further into the future. It's not a prophecy of doom - just a bit of an oversight really.
Then there is the fact that they didn't count leap years so that arbitrary point has already gone by!
As such the whole thing is complete crap.
Should the world end tomorrow though - feel free to give me an I told you so in the afterlife hey?
Rant over.
Wednesday, 19 December 2012
Rant 354 19/12/12 Subject: Leaving it too late
Rant number 354
I work in on-line retailing - and at this time of year, I do wonder why! Its bloody stressful fixing all of the problems when time is getting so short before Christmas.
I'm not a great lover of Christmas (did I ever mention that?) but I have no particular wish to let people down.
The fact of the matter is though - that people have to be realistic about this world - because, to break some news to you all - that you are possibly not aware of:
The world is not perfect!
If you order something, have a look at it before there are only 3 working days before Christmas. That way, people will be able to help you out. People seem to actually believe that Christmas magic exists - specially for them. It doesn't though.
If anything, at Christmas, many things wind down - because (and I know this is fucking disgusting!) you are not actually the only person in the world who would like to enjoy Christmas. As such, the post, the courier networks, shops, businesses and pretty much everything else wind down a little over the festive period - meaning that trying to sort problems out when there are only about 3 working days to do so (one of which doesn't really count!) is not really fabulous.
I understand its not great that this is the case - but it is the case. If you are going to mail order anything, try and look at things before the time runs out. People wan't to help you, but short of a fleet of jet packed superhero's - they probably can't. Don't make a nuisance of yourself and start being grumpy about it. Christmas comes at the same time every bloody year - so its not like you don't know its coming!
Rant over.
I work in on-line retailing - and at this time of year, I do wonder why! Its bloody stressful fixing all of the problems when time is getting so short before Christmas.
I'm not a great lover of Christmas (did I ever mention that?) but I have no particular wish to let people down.
The fact of the matter is though - that people have to be realistic about this world - because, to break some news to you all - that you are possibly not aware of:
The world is not perfect!
If you order something, have a look at it before there are only 3 working days before Christmas. That way, people will be able to help you out. People seem to actually believe that Christmas magic exists - specially for them. It doesn't though.
If anything, at Christmas, many things wind down - because (and I know this is fucking disgusting!) you are not actually the only person in the world who would like to enjoy Christmas. As such, the post, the courier networks, shops, businesses and pretty much everything else wind down a little over the festive period - meaning that trying to sort problems out when there are only about 3 working days to do so (one of which doesn't really count!) is not really fabulous.
I understand its not great that this is the case - but it is the case. If you are going to mail order anything, try and look at things before the time runs out. People wan't to help you, but short of a fleet of jet packed superhero's - they probably can't. Don't make a nuisance of yourself and start being grumpy about it. Christmas comes at the same time every bloody year - so its not like you don't know its coming!
Rant over.
Tuesday, 18 December 2012
Rant 353 18/12/12 Subject: Plebgate
Rant number 353
How on earth, is this shit still in the news now? It was bastarding months ago.
For anyone who has just been released from jail/has just emerged from a Coma, this all begun rather a while ago.
A guy called Andrew Mitchell wanted to go out of the main gates on downing street on his bicycle, because he's like - so too important to use the gates right?
The policemen guarding the gates - not surprisingly said something along the lines of 'use the gate please' to which Andrew Mitchell had a bit of a tantrum - apparently culminating in him calling them Plebs.
He's since been sacked - and quite right too. If you want the public to be respectful to your police force - you should probably try and be respectful to them too.
That's not actually what I'm bothered about to be honest.
What irks me is two things:
A) Them calling it Plebgate - which is very irritating.
B) The fact that its still in the news.
I quite frankly don't really care about the story - and don't expect it to be carrying on so long. Andrew Mitchell has many times said he didn't call the policemen Plebs however - he seems to be quite tightlipped on exactly what was said. Now also - he's trying to turn it back on the coppers for lying about it. Just drop it! It should have been over with now.
Everyone knows that the tories are out of touch bastards who think we are indeed plebs, commoners, peasants etc etc. Chasing these stupid stories does nothing to solve things.
It's not like him being gone is going to make things better. They'll just replace him with another arsehole. That's how things like this are.
Frankly, I'm a bit pissed off of hearing about it now! There had better be some new news tomorrow!
Rant over.
How on earth, is this shit still in the news now? It was bastarding months ago.
For anyone who has just been released from jail/has just emerged from a Coma, this all begun rather a while ago.
A guy called Andrew Mitchell wanted to go out of the main gates on downing street on his bicycle, because he's like - so too important to use the gates right?
The policemen guarding the gates - not surprisingly said something along the lines of 'use the gate please' to which Andrew Mitchell had a bit of a tantrum - apparently culminating in him calling them Plebs.
He's since been sacked - and quite right too. If you want the public to be respectful to your police force - you should probably try and be respectful to them too.
That's not actually what I'm bothered about to be honest.
What irks me is two things:
A) Them calling it Plebgate - which is very irritating.
B) The fact that its still in the news.
I quite frankly don't really care about the story - and don't expect it to be carrying on so long. Andrew Mitchell has many times said he didn't call the policemen Plebs however - he seems to be quite tightlipped on exactly what was said. Now also - he's trying to turn it back on the coppers for lying about it. Just drop it! It should have been over with now.
Everyone knows that the tories are out of touch bastards who think we are indeed plebs, commoners, peasants etc etc. Chasing these stupid stories does nothing to solve things.
It's not like him being gone is going to make things better. They'll just replace him with another arsehole. That's how things like this are.
Frankly, I'm a bit pissed off of hearing about it now! There had better be some new news tomorrow!
Rant over.
Monday, 17 December 2012
Rant 352 17/12/12 Subject: How many times
Rant number 352
America is a big place and a great place in many ways. No place in the world whatsoever have such variation in culture, such freedom of speech and so much to offer the world.
Many of the individual people who live their are perfectly normal and wonderful people, just like everywhere else. Like here though - like France, Spain, China, Jamaica and everywhere else you can name or think of though - there are some bad apples.
There are always going to be bad people who want to ruin it for everyone, people who have been brainwashed, people who have bought too much into their own bitter rhetoric and people who plain have a screw loose.
So there is nothing unusual about America in that way - except for the ease with which they can get the tools to reek havoc.
Guns are a constitutional right don't you know. Every American can bear arms - a right that they jealously hold onto tooth and nail. The problem is? How the hell can you stop it now.
They may have had some horrific deaths with the Twin Towers and other terrorist attacks in recent times. Around 3000 - which is a really horrible loss. They've lost on average 10,000 a year though - in shootings from within their own country. That's an awful lot of people I think you will agree.
In America - owning a gun has become a very normal thing to do, because of a simple argument.
Guns are available to everyone. The unscrupulous are going to get hold of guns to use as they see fit - so the others feel that they need them to protect themselves. Its an insane reaction to an insane situation.
I mean - lets look at this in context boys and girls. Guns are only designed to do one thing. They are designed to kill either animals or other people. They can be used to shoot targets or deer or birds but they are still just meant do what they were designed for. They aren't a method of protection.
They shouldn't be a constitutional right in modern times. The Americans aren't in a civil war now - except within the gangs who have all been easily supplied with guns.
Its a ridiculous situation and its sad - because things keep happening like the recent raw wound in America. Another horrible massacre. Another loner who took his mothers legally bought handguns and went out on a killing spree.
Treat a gun like a toy - and people will look at life like its a game.
I really hope that Obama can do something about guns in America. He seems to be a man - and he would rightly go down in History for it.
No doubt though - there are one too many rednecks in congress who are going to stop that happening.
Its a sad state of affairs - it really is.
Rant over.
America is a big place and a great place in many ways. No place in the world whatsoever have such variation in culture, such freedom of speech and so much to offer the world.
Many of the individual people who live their are perfectly normal and wonderful people, just like everywhere else. Like here though - like France, Spain, China, Jamaica and everywhere else you can name or think of though - there are some bad apples.
There are always going to be bad people who want to ruin it for everyone, people who have been brainwashed, people who have bought too much into their own bitter rhetoric and people who plain have a screw loose.
So there is nothing unusual about America in that way - except for the ease with which they can get the tools to reek havoc.
Guns are a constitutional right don't you know. Every American can bear arms - a right that they jealously hold onto tooth and nail. The problem is? How the hell can you stop it now.
They may have had some horrific deaths with the Twin Towers and other terrorist attacks in recent times. Around 3000 - which is a really horrible loss. They've lost on average 10,000 a year though - in shootings from within their own country. That's an awful lot of people I think you will agree.
In America - owning a gun has become a very normal thing to do, because of a simple argument.
Guns are available to everyone. The unscrupulous are going to get hold of guns to use as they see fit - so the others feel that they need them to protect themselves. Its an insane reaction to an insane situation.
I mean - lets look at this in context boys and girls. Guns are only designed to do one thing. They are designed to kill either animals or other people. They can be used to shoot targets or deer or birds but they are still just meant do what they were designed for. They aren't a method of protection.
They shouldn't be a constitutional right in modern times. The Americans aren't in a civil war now - except within the gangs who have all been easily supplied with guns.
Its a ridiculous situation and its sad - because things keep happening like the recent raw wound in America. Another horrible massacre. Another loner who took his mothers legally bought handguns and went out on a killing spree.
Treat a gun like a toy - and people will look at life like its a game.
I really hope that Obama can do something about guns in America. He seems to be a man - and he would rightly go down in History for it.
No doubt though - there are one too many rednecks in congress who are going to stop that happening.
Its a sad state of affairs - it really is.
Rant over.
Sunday, 16 December 2012
Rant 351 16/12/12 Subject: Dragging month
Rant number 351
I think by now that you have realised that I'm not a big fan of Christmas - or the month of December. They are not really my thing.
There is mass hysteria over toys, over food and over pretty much everything.
People push themselves to the brink trying to get it all right and expend far too much energy in a few short weeks - in the name of 'good will towards men' (and women of course.)
The whole thing is so obsessive - like the one day holds some humongous significance.
The reality however, is that its just another day - despite all the hype and 'magic' that by all accounts surrounds it.
I understand that people want something special for the winter but really - its not such a big day, its just 24 hours. Why not make your magic last all winter or all year or whatever? Surely that would be much better?
The worst thing of all is though - it means that I'm stressed out, busy as hell and each day is hard work that goes on forever. Which is making this month last forever!
Why is it not over yet - well this week at the very least.
Rant over.
I think by now that you have realised that I'm not a big fan of Christmas - or the month of December. They are not really my thing.
There is mass hysteria over toys, over food and over pretty much everything.
People push themselves to the brink trying to get it all right and expend far too much energy in a few short weeks - in the name of 'good will towards men' (and women of course.)
The whole thing is so obsessive - like the one day holds some humongous significance.
The reality however, is that its just another day - despite all the hype and 'magic' that by all accounts surrounds it.
I understand that people want something special for the winter but really - its not such a big day, its just 24 hours. Why not make your magic last all winter or all year or whatever? Surely that would be much better?
The worst thing of all is though - it means that I'm stressed out, busy as hell and each day is hard work that goes on forever. Which is making this month last forever!
Why is it not over yet - well this week at the very least.
Rant over.
Saturday, 15 December 2012
Rant 350 15/12/12 Subject: Space Invaders
Rant number 350
Now, to begin with - I want to make it very clear that I don't have a problem with the vintage space invaders - those pixillated alien monsters don't annoy me terribly (except when they get near the bottom of the screen and go super fast - the bastards!)
No, I'm talking about people who have no perception or respect for other peoples personal space. Its one of the rudest characteristics of the more chavvy classes and general stupid people.
Today - I was carolling in the supermarket, and people wouldn't walk an extra 25cm out of their way in order to not walk into the area where my trombone slide was going.
My trombone is one of my most prized possessions - and it would be very dangerous indeed to walk into it. Either people are too fucking lazy or are too 'cool' to go out of their way by a footstep or people can't look where they are going. Either way - they are fucking idiots.
It's a constant annoyance to me - the way people behave in public. You don't need to be an ignorant arsehole to be respected. You just look like a douchebag.
Most irritating indeed!
Rant over.
Now, to begin with - I want to make it very clear that I don't have a problem with the vintage space invaders - those pixillated alien monsters don't annoy me terribly (except when they get near the bottom of the screen and go super fast - the bastards!)
No, I'm talking about people who have no perception or respect for other peoples personal space. Its one of the rudest characteristics of the more chavvy classes and general stupid people.
Today - I was carolling in the supermarket, and people wouldn't walk an extra 25cm out of their way in order to not walk into the area where my trombone slide was going.
My trombone is one of my most prized possessions - and it would be very dangerous indeed to walk into it. Either people are too fucking lazy or are too 'cool' to go out of their way by a footstep or people can't look where they are going. Either way - they are fucking idiots.
It's a constant annoyance to me - the way people behave in public. You don't need to be an ignorant arsehole to be respected. You just look like a douchebag.
Most irritating indeed!
Rant over.
Friday, 14 December 2012
Rant 349 14/12/12 Subject: No provision for ice
Rant number 349
I think that I pretty much articulated just how bloody cold it was yesterday.
Like, really - balls meeting your kidneys cold.
Well certainly by English standards anyway.
The truth of the matter is though - that to countries such as Russia, yesterday was pretty bloody balmy. Hell - to them, it was practically beach weather.
Which is why today was a bit of a farce.
The roads and pavements across this area were not gritted or salted overnight - despite the temperatures that meant black ice was an almost certainty. As such - not surprisingly. Things were fucking chaotic.
It took me around quarter of an hour to hack through the ice on my car (I broke my ice scraper!) - eventually resorting to a combination of de-icer and warm water. I then drove to work slowly and carefully - leaving a clenched indent of my bottom on the seat - because things were bloody foggy, bloody icy and thus a bit bloody worrying.
And most irritatingly - quite preventable.
Our local council have today announced that they are going to buy all of the councillors iPads to work on - which is going to cost a great deal of money - but save us money in the long run apparently (does anyone smell that male cow poo?)
But yet they spend nothing on gritting the roads so that people won't be injured in this weather? Cockends.
Surely - its a false economy to skimp on these things. Grit is cheap - but medical care is expensive. It also effects businesses and employees - who cannot get to work or transport their goods.
The news readers this morning for instance said 'only travel if absolutely necessary.' To some, it may not be necessary to go to work in this weather (like the councillors for instance?) To me - its a bloody necessity because I don't get paid if I don't get there.
It just goes to show that people at even the local council level are useless, self serving cunts who don't give a shit about you or I.
Bastards!
Rant over.
I think that I pretty much articulated just how bloody cold it was yesterday.
Like, really - balls meeting your kidneys cold.
Well certainly by English standards anyway.
The truth of the matter is though - that to countries such as Russia, yesterday was pretty bloody balmy. Hell - to them, it was practically beach weather.
Which is why today was a bit of a farce.
The roads and pavements across this area were not gritted or salted overnight - despite the temperatures that meant black ice was an almost certainty. As such - not surprisingly. Things were fucking chaotic.
It took me around quarter of an hour to hack through the ice on my car (I broke my ice scraper!) - eventually resorting to a combination of de-icer and warm water. I then drove to work slowly and carefully - leaving a clenched indent of my bottom on the seat - because things were bloody foggy, bloody icy and thus a bit bloody worrying.
And most irritatingly - quite preventable.
Our local council have today announced that they are going to buy all of the councillors iPads to work on - which is going to cost a great deal of money - but save us money in the long run apparently (does anyone smell that male cow poo?)
But yet they spend nothing on gritting the roads so that people won't be injured in this weather? Cockends.
Surely - its a false economy to skimp on these things. Grit is cheap - but medical care is expensive. It also effects businesses and employees - who cannot get to work or transport their goods.
The news readers this morning for instance said 'only travel if absolutely necessary.' To some, it may not be necessary to go to work in this weather (like the councillors for instance?) To me - its a bloody necessity because I don't get paid if I don't get there.
It just goes to show that people at even the local council level are useless, self serving cunts who don't give a shit about you or I.
Bastards!
Rant over.
Thursday, 13 December 2012
Rant 348 13/12/12 Subject: The extreme winter
Rant number 348
Today I've been out spreading Christmas cheer to the people of Rochdale - who to be honest seemed a little bit unmoved. We were playing carols in the streets in order to raise some funds for the band. In truth though - I think that people were more keen to stay in their houses - like anyone with any common sense would.
Now I've talked about feeling the cold before this year - but I didn't talk about the cold like it has been this year. For years, our weather has been getting worse and worse - and it seems now that our winters are going to be pretty bloody evil.
Today, knowing I was off carolling - I put on:
Thick Jeans
2 T-shirts
1 Hoodie
1 Coat over hoodie
2 pairs of socks
Fingerless gloves
Within seconds of stepping out of the car and assembling my instrument however, I was really feeling it. Probably because the temperature outside this evening was roughly minus 2!
That's just not bloody right is it? Minus 2 is inside your freezer temperature - not outside temperature. I'm sure its been getting colder, icier and more and more extreme year on year. Lets hope it doesn't get worse in this way for much longer - or we're all going to take up hibernation.
It's icy and thats dangerous. That means more accidents and misery and traffic and stuff. Today its been freezing fog all bloody day - which means more accidents and the like.
I just want to be able to get from A-B without me or other people crashing into stuff and for it to not be colder than a fridge outside! - is that too much to ask?
Apparently so!
Rant over.
Wednesday, 12 December 2012
Rant 347 12/12/12 Subject: 'Special dates'
Rant number 347
Today is the 12th of December 2012, or as some like to put it 12/12/12
My god, it's like the fucking twin peaks!
Not the date you understand - that's a load of crap, it's the idiots who try and find significance in these things, as if there isn't anything important going on in the world.
To start with, 12/12/12 took place a thousand years ago - and I doubt it was significant even then. People always miss out the first two digits to prove their point though and that's really annoying.
Then lets look at the dates in general. It's only been 2012 years since they started counting the modern way. The calendar goes back well before people started counting - so we don't actually have a clue what the date happens to be. Either way, no date is at all special or magic.
The world is going to end because we finally blow it up or because an asteroid hits the earth or something. Things aren't going to stop operating on the 21st of this month - just because the Mayans didn't think about the calendar in several thousand years. And they didn't count leap years either.
So there.
Rant over.
Today is the 12th of December 2012, or as some like to put it 12/12/12
My god, it's like the fucking twin peaks!
Not the date you understand - that's a load of crap, it's the idiots who try and find significance in these things, as if there isn't anything important going on in the world.
To start with, 12/12/12 took place a thousand years ago - and I doubt it was significant even then. People always miss out the first two digits to prove their point though and that's really annoying.
Then lets look at the dates in general. It's only been 2012 years since they started counting the modern way. The calendar goes back well before people started counting - so we don't actually have a clue what the date happens to be. Either way, no date is at all special or magic.
The world is going to end because we finally blow it up or because an asteroid hits the earth or something. Things aren't going to stop operating on the 21st of this month - just because the Mayans didn't think about the calendar in several thousand years. And they didn't count leap years either.
So there.
Rant over.
Tuesday, 11 December 2012
Rant 346 11/12/12 Subject: Christmas Cards
Rant number 346
On the news this morning, there was a woman on - waffling about how fantastic the Christmas card industry in the UK is. She was grinning from ear to ear - like a cheshire cat on botox.
The reason for her grin was simple enough, a big grin indeed - because the industry of Christmas cards is doing fucking well. Despite the recession and all the rest of it, we brits still send Christmas cards (and birthday cards and anniversary cards etc. etc.)
For that woman's smug - irritating grin alone - I would say one thing and one thing only to you my readers:
Stop buying Christmas cards!
You buy about tuppence worth of cheap card and ink - for an awful lot more than tuppence.
You write on it, a message that reads 'To - the recipient, From me' with whatever platitude lying in the middle.
You then put it in an envelope and slit your tongue open licking it along its razors edge.
You then give it to the recipient - who opens it, looks like your scrawl - and often gives you a similarly half hearted effort. Or you send it in the post - which costs about 50 times more than the card is worth
It's become a social convention that we must all be involved in - but what does it really mean. Wouldn't it be nicer to give the people you give a shit about a hug and a Christmas wish - rather than someone else's, printed on cheap cardboard. We've all seen these messages, and the pictures (traditional/modern/humorous,) so there is no bloody need.
If you want to send a card- save a tree and send an e-card, or - god forbid give the person your own message.
Give the money to charity or flush it down the drain - for all the good that these cards really do. What a waste of trees. I'm putting my foot down this year and I shall not be part of it!
Rant over.
On the news this morning, there was a woman on - waffling about how fantastic the Christmas card industry in the UK is. She was grinning from ear to ear - like a cheshire cat on botox.
The reason for her grin was simple enough, a big grin indeed - because the industry of Christmas cards is doing fucking well. Despite the recession and all the rest of it, we brits still send Christmas cards (and birthday cards and anniversary cards etc. etc.)
For that woman's smug - irritating grin alone - I would say one thing and one thing only to you my readers:
Stop buying Christmas cards!
You buy about tuppence worth of cheap card and ink - for an awful lot more than tuppence.
You write on it, a message that reads 'To - the recipient, From me' with whatever platitude lying in the middle.
You then put it in an envelope and slit your tongue open licking it along its razors edge.
You then give it to the recipient - who opens it, looks like your scrawl - and often gives you a similarly half hearted effort. Or you send it in the post - which costs about 50 times more than the card is worth
It's become a social convention that we must all be involved in - but what does it really mean. Wouldn't it be nicer to give the people you give a shit about a hug and a Christmas wish - rather than someone else's, printed on cheap cardboard. We've all seen these messages, and the pictures (traditional/modern/humorous,) so there is no bloody need.
If you want to send a card- save a tree and send an e-card, or - god forbid give the person your own message.
Give the money to charity or flush it down the drain - for all the good that these cards really do. What a waste of trees. I'm putting my foot down this year and I shall not be part of it!
Rant over.
Monday, 10 December 2012
Rant 345 10/12/12 Subject: Northern Ireland
Rant number 345
Whenever terrorist actions take place these days - its usual the asian religions that are to blame. As such - you get a certain amount of smugness from the Christians of one sort or another (lets face it, there are more variations than there could possibly need to be.)
Over the last week or so however, there have been some stark reminders of the recent past when things were quite different.
Northern Ireland, is a country with a very very troubled past in very recent years - and it seems that things are stirring up all over again. The country appears to be in somewhat of a state of anticipated conflict all over again - and its just not on.
When I was a child, I remember a lot of very scary stuff happening. The IRA - the bombings, it was an ugly time, and it should just not happen again.
Why can people not get along with each other - despite the differences in opinion.
The subject of contention is loyalism. Whether they as a country side with Ireland or with us. Half the country want to stay with us, and half with them - which is all very well, but no reason to be bombing and killing.
And what do you think is starting it all up again? A bombing - no. A loyalist march or something - no.
No, its about a fucking flag.
Childish idiotic fuckers. The country have been maiming each other for years and years and its just not OK. Bloody idiots.
Rant over.
Whenever terrorist actions take place these days - its usual the asian religions that are to blame. As such - you get a certain amount of smugness from the Christians of one sort or another (lets face it, there are more variations than there could possibly need to be.)
Over the last week or so however, there have been some stark reminders of the recent past when things were quite different.
Northern Ireland, is a country with a very very troubled past in very recent years - and it seems that things are stirring up all over again. The country appears to be in somewhat of a state of anticipated conflict all over again - and its just not on.
When I was a child, I remember a lot of very scary stuff happening. The IRA - the bombings, it was an ugly time, and it should just not happen again.
Why can people not get along with each other - despite the differences in opinion.
The subject of contention is loyalism. Whether they as a country side with Ireland or with us. Half the country want to stay with us, and half with them - which is all very well, but no reason to be bombing and killing.
And what do you think is starting it all up again? A bombing - no. A loyalist march or something - no.
No, its about a fucking flag.
Childish idiotic fuckers. The country have been maiming each other for years and years and its just not OK. Bloody idiots.
Rant over.
Sunday, 9 December 2012
Rant 344 09/12/12 Subject: The rain of stupid
Rant number 344
I read a book once called 'One Rainy Night' by a guy called Richard Laymon. I've read many of his books in fact - but this one came to mind yesterday.
It's a good (but rather strange) but about a town where it starts to rain - certainly nothing unusual about that. The thing is though - this rain turns people into psychopathic murderous folk - a little bit like zombies but more sentient. It's a good book if you like horror stories, but that's kind of an aside to things.
The reason I thought about it yesterday was the stupidity that was so evident in town - which made me wonder if someone has started putting stupid enzymes in the rain.
To start with, after managing to park in town, a couple stood by the lift - evidently waiting for the same to arrive. There are two lifts - operated by one button. Its a pretty simple system really.
Idiot proof surely?
Evidently not.
As me and the wife approached the lifts - the left hand one opened - whilst the two idiots were too busy fiddling with their phones to notice. Inevitably, despite a slight scuttle on realisation of this - we missed the lift.
Fucking eejits.
To add to this, when we then got in the lift with tweedle dum and tweedle fucking dumber and reached the ground floor - some intellectual marvel had lined up their shopping in front of the lift doors.
I mean - had they not seen a lift before? Really?
Today, it took the almost 5 minutes to explain to a girl on the phone that our pizza was overdue and articulate our address to her.
What the hell is happening to people.
Idiot rain - thats what it bloody well is.
It would explain a lot. People watching X-Factor, Big Brother, I'm a Celebrity and pretty much everything else. People voting for David Fucking Cameron and then wondering why he's basically dry humping every last man, woman and child in the wallets. Peoples obsessions with pointless celebrities and of course the fads for wearing crocs and the like.
If I was you, I'd get out there and buy the biggest hat and umbrella you can - while you are still able to read these words.
Rant over.
I read a book once called 'One Rainy Night' by a guy called Richard Laymon. I've read many of his books in fact - but this one came to mind yesterday.
It's a good (but rather strange) but about a town where it starts to rain - certainly nothing unusual about that. The thing is though - this rain turns people into psychopathic murderous folk - a little bit like zombies but more sentient. It's a good book if you like horror stories, but that's kind of an aside to things.
The reason I thought about it yesterday was the stupidity that was so evident in town - which made me wonder if someone has started putting stupid enzymes in the rain.
To start with, after managing to park in town, a couple stood by the lift - evidently waiting for the same to arrive. There are two lifts - operated by one button. Its a pretty simple system really.
Idiot proof surely?
Evidently not.
As me and the wife approached the lifts - the left hand one opened - whilst the two idiots were too busy fiddling with their phones to notice. Inevitably, despite a slight scuttle on realisation of this - we missed the lift.
Fucking eejits.
To add to this, when we then got in the lift with tweedle dum and tweedle fucking dumber and reached the ground floor - some intellectual marvel had lined up their shopping in front of the lift doors.
I mean - had they not seen a lift before? Really?
Today, it took the almost 5 minutes to explain to a girl on the phone that our pizza was overdue and articulate our address to her.
What the hell is happening to people.
Idiot rain - thats what it bloody well is.
It would explain a lot. People watching X-Factor, Big Brother, I'm a Celebrity and pretty much everything else. People voting for David Fucking Cameron and then wondering why he's basically dry humping every last man, woman and child in the wallets. Peoples obsessions with pointless celebrities and of course the fads for wearing crocs and the like.
If I was you, I'd get out there and buy the biggest hat and umbrella you can - while you are still able to read these words.
Rant over.
Saturday, 8 December 2012
Rant 343 08/12/12 Subject: Overlaps
Rant number 343
Christmas has many undesirable qualities to it, and probably one of its worse is the fact that you are almost constantly busy.
Work ramps up, there are parties and band jobs and carolling and various other drags on your time, it's. a frustration!
This results in some seriously frustrating situations of double booking and overlapping - such as tonight. I had a concert and a party to go to - so I've tried to do both - meaning I rushed off from the concert to the party - arriving very late indeed.
It's not the best of both worlds really - it's kind of the worst of both.
I really hate that! I feel obliged to make everyone happy - which is not going to happen.
It's a pain it really is.
Rant over.
Christmas has many undesirable qualities to it, and probably one of its worse is the fact that you are almost constantly busy.
Work ramps up, there are parties and band jobs and carolling and various other drags on your time, it's. a frustration!
This results in some seriously frustrating situations of double booking and overlapping - such as tonight. I had a concert and a party to go to - so I've tried to do both - meaning I rushed off from the concert to the party - arriving very late indeed.
It's not the best of both worlds really - it's kind of the worst of both.
I really hate that! I feel obliged to make everyone happy - which is not going to happen.
It's a pain it really is.
Rant over.
Friday, 7 December 2012
Rant 342 07/12/12 Subject: Domino effects
Rant number 342
Following the previously ranted news about the royal baby, there has been much media interest and media hype.
The media do love a good royal story after all - and many sycophants have been tripping over their own tongues in order to pass on their congratulations.
Not everyone however, decided that this was their style.
Mel Greig & Michael Christian, two DJ's from Australia made a stupid prank call that surprised even them!
Using some of the most unconvincing Queen & Prince Charles accents you have ever heard, they phoned up the incredibly exclusive (and of course reassuringly expensive) hospital where Kate Middleton was having her checkup.
The nurse who answered the phone -obviously wasn't paying attention properly and put the two of them through to speak to nurses who were serving Kate directly.
Now, from hearing those rather terrible accents, it is pretty hard to believe that they got through - even the DJ's were surprised as hell. The lady who answered though - wasn't an English lady I am pretty sure from the name and the accent on the recordings - so you can forgive her that a little.
After this all came out - they understandably were not impressed with either the hospital or the radio station. It's bad that the hospital didn't ask some more questions - rather than giving it a simple 'Yes Ma'am' and thinking no more of it. It's also pretty bad that a radio station invaded someones privacy when they are at their most vulnerable.
No-one had really got onto the lady who answered the phone yet though. Which is where the story takes its darkest turn.
The lady who took the call has now taken her own life - which is a pretty sad result to a very silly thing to do.
The hospital by all accounts had not made any proceedings towards disciplining her however, I think that's pretty bloody unlikely. Under the circumstances - I'd be pretty surprised if they:
A) Hadn't been in the process of sacking her
B) Will never admit that now.
The poor women was just doing her job - no doubt, like the rest of us she was stressed, in a rush and wasn't paying attention. Its sad that she felt this was the only way out.
It may have been the end of her career- but she has a life beyond that surely? She was also a mother -and I really think its a shame for them to be left behind.
She didn't deserve to feel guilty - we all drop a bolluc every now and then.
The whole domino effect of the thing is just ridiculous. It's gone from a pregnancy to a death in the space of only a few days.
What a shame
Rant over.
Following the previously ranted news about the royal baby, there has been much media interest and media hype.
The media do love a good royal story after all - and many sycophants have been tripping over their own tongues in order to pass on their congratulations.
Not everyone however, decided that this was their style.
Mel Greig & Michael Christian, two DJ's from Australia made a stupid prank call that surprised even them!
Using some of the most unconvincing Queen & Prince Charles accents you have ever heard, they phoned up the incredibly exclusive (and of course reassuringly expensive) hospital where Kate Middleton was having her checkup.
The nurse who answered the phone -obviously wasn't paying attention properly and put the two of them through to speak to nurses who were serving Kate directly.
Now, from hearing those rather terrible accents, it is pretty hard to believe that they got through - even the DJ's were surprised as hell. The lady who answered though - wasn't an English lady I am pretty sure from the name and the accent on the recordings - so you can forgive her that a little.
After this all came out - they understandably were not impressed with either the hospital or the radio station. It's bad that the hospital didn't ask some more questions - rather than giving it a simple 'Yes Ma'am' and thinking no more of it. It's also pretty bad that a radio station invaded someones privacy when they are at their most vulnerable.
No-one had really got onto the lady who answered the phone yet though. Which is where the story takes its darkest turn.
The lady who took the call has now taken her own life - which is a pretty sad result to a very silly thing to do.
The hospital by all accounts had not made any proceedings towards disciplining her however, I think that's pretty bloody unlikely. Under the circumstances - I'd be pretty surprised if they:
A) Hadn't been in the process of sacking her
B) Will never admit that now.
The poor women was just doing her job - no doubt, like the rest of us she was stressed, in a rush and wasn't paying attention. Its sad that she felt this was the only way out.
It may have been the end of her career- but she has a life beyond that surely? She was also a mother -and I really think its a shame for them to be left behind.
She didn't deserve to feel guilty - we all drop a bolluc every now and then.
The whole domino effect of the thing is just ridiculous. It's gone from a pregnancy to a death in the space of only a few days.
What a shame
Rant over.
Thursday, 6 December 2012
Rant 341 06/12/12 Subject: Snow
Rant number 341
I consider myself a bit like the US postal service in some ways.
This comparison I believe applies well on two distinct levels:
1) There is a great likelihood that, one of these days - I am going to tip over the edge of grumpiness into genuine homicidal rage; what is commonly know as 'going postal.'
2) I also like to carry on with my live, come rain, come snow, come hail and various other weather conditions.
This applies particularly to band.
I like to get there whatever. I enjoy it and I don't like to let the group down by my absence.
Today however, for the first time in a very long time - I had to give in, turn tail and go home - and its thoroughly irritating.
At around 2pm today - it started to snow. Just a slow flurry really, very light and falling on wet ground - which I thus believed would not settle.
This then turned into rain - which then turned into sleet - which I thought would not settle yet still.
I was bloody wrong though! Its been hammering it down with sleet for hours now - and so the road is not snowy - its just very very slushy: which is, if anything worse.
I set of thus this evening, to find the motorways rammed nose to tail - and the B routes too treacherous to risk - with the sleety/snowy stuff buffeting my windscreen.
Its thoroughly crap it is having to put up with snow. Its not romantic or exotic - just bloody dangerous and highly inconvenient for just about everyone involved. Snowy roads can be bloody lethal.
The stuff is fine on Christmas cards or whatever. It looks good from afar. It's even OK if you are not someone with anywhere to go - who can make snowmen or sledge or whatever. Maybe if they could organise for the stuff to just fall on the odd field - that would work well!
Bloody rubbish!
Rant over.
I consider myself a bit like the US postal service in some ways.
This comparison I believe applies well on two distinct levels:
1) There is a great likelihood that, one of these days - I am going to tip over the edge of grumpiness into genuine homicidal rage; what is commonly know as 'going postal.'
2) I also like to carry on with my live, come rain, come snow, come hail and various other weather conditions.
This applies particularly to band.
I like to get there whatever. I enjoy it and I don't like to let the group down by my absence.
Today however, for the first time in a very long time - I had to give in, turn tail and go home - and its thoroughly irritating.
At around 2pm today - it started to snow. Just a slow flurry really, very light and falling on wet ground - which I thus believed would not settle.
This then turned into rain - which then turned into sleet - which I thought would not settle yet still.
I was bloody wrong though! Its been hammering it down with sleet for hours now - and so the road is not snowy - its just very very slushy: which is, if anything worse.
I set of thus this evening, to find the motorways rammed nose to tail - and the B routes too treacherous to risk - with the sleety/snowy stuff buffeting my windscreen.
Its thoroughly crap it is having to put up with snow. Its not romantic or exotic - just bloody dangerous and highly inconvenient for just about everyone involved. Snowy roads can be bloody lethal.
The stuff is fine on Christmas cards or whatever. It looks good from afar. It's even OK if you are not someone with anywhere to go - who can make snowmen or sledge or whatever. Maybe if they could organise for the stuff to just fall on the odd field - that would work well!
Bloody rubbish!
Rant over.
Wednesday, 5 December 2012
Rant 340 05/12/12 Subject: The incautious idiots strike again
Rant number 340
Today, again, it took forever to get home from work (after I was late for work in the morning). The journey that should take 30 minutes, took over an hour and 45 minutes - what a ball ache.
And why prey? I hear you cry.
Because there has been yet another humongous accident on the M62.
It's always sad when these things happen I know, and I hope that the people involved are OK. Once again though - I can't help but be a little irritated that these things just keep happening.
Now, I know that at this time of year - the conditions aren't ideal. It gets very cold and icy indeed - which can make things slippery.
I suppose you could use this as an argument as to why these things keep happening.
I don't accept that though - I think its just people being dickheads.
The reasons for this I feel are:
A) Everyone knows it can be slippery because its cold - as such, everyone should be more careful - ignorance is no excuse
B) This stuff keeps happening on the M62, one of the busiest motorways in the country. Its gritted at night and is in use at all times of the day - as such, its tough for ice to form.
C)The areas where these accidents have been happening are at a reduced 50 mile an hour speed limit - which surely should make this stuff less likely to happen.
So what is going on?
People driving aggressively with no regard. This time - as it often is, it was a lorry that caused the problem - and they really are a menace.
Many of them are from foreign countries and so aren't necessarily experienced with looking for traffic on the right side of their vehicles. Their mirrors and seats also are set up so that they can see the left side of the vehicle better than the right - which is just a bit fucking dangerous.
Then there is the situation with revs. Lorries take a long time to accelerate up to speed and get revs up. As such, they hate braking and so will drive very aggressively in order to keep up to speed (I have experienced this myself, when one of these complete and utter cunts tried to push me off the motorway.)
So what do I think really is happening? We have too many lorry drivers driving too complacently - and with too little regard for the other road users. While this goes on - the accidents will continue.
I hate the M62, and those bastards.
Rant over.
Today, again, it took forever to get home from work (after I was late for work in the morning). The journey that should take 30 minutes, took over an hour and 45 minutes - what a ball ache.
And why prey? I hear you cry.
Because there has been yet another humongous accident on the M62.
It's always sad when these things happen I know, and I hope that the people involved are OK. Once again though - I can't help but be a little irritated that these things just keep happening.
Now, I know that at this time of year - the conditions aren't ideal. It gets very cold and icy indeed - which can make things slippery.
I suppose you could use this as an argument as to why these things keep happening.
I don't accept that though - I think its just people being dickheads.
The reasons for this I feel are:
A) Everyone knows it can be slippery because its cold - as such, everyone should be more careful - ignorance is no excuse
B) This stuff keeps happening on the M62, one of the busiest motorways in the country. Its gritted at night and is in use at all times of the day - as such, its tough for ice to form.
C)The areas where these accidents have been happening are at a reduced 50 mile an hour speed limit - which surely should make this stuff less likely to happen.
So what is going on?
People driving aggressively with no regard. This time - as it often is, it was a lorry that caused the problem - and they really are a menace.
Many of them are from foreign countries and so aren't necessarily experienced with looking for traffic on the right side of their vehicles. Their mirrors and seats also are set up so that they can see the left side of the vehicle better than the right - which is just a bit fucking dangerous.
Then there is the situation with revs. Lorries take a long time to accelerate up to speed and get revs up. As such, they hate braking and so will drive very aggressively in order to keep up to speed (I have experienced this myself, when one of these complete and utter cunts tried to push me off the motorway.)
So what do I think really is happening? We have too many lorry drivers driving too complacently - and with too little regard for the other road users. While this goes on - the accidents will continue.
I hate the M62, and those bastards.
Rant over.
Tuesday, 4 December 2012
Rant 339 04/12/12 Subject: Christmas sneaking in
Rant number 339
Come on guys, its only 4 days into bloody December!
As far as I'm aware, there are 21 days between now and Christmas. That being the case- why am I now being inundated with it? Can't a grinch be miserable in the face of the looming day - without constant reminder.
As of yesterday, my morning radio station announced that they would be doing 50% Christmas music - which they plan to ramp up day on day.
Then there are Christmas specials and films already cropping up on TV. I'm sure that the big day could be much more exciting if we hadn't had all the Christmas stuff leading up to it!
It's most annoying! - Expect more grinch rants soon.
Rant over.
Monday, 3 December 2012
Rant 338 03/12/12 Subject: The royal baby
Rant number 339
On the way home from work this evening, I listened to the news as usual. From what I can remember - there was a very very short talk about the Leveson cameron debacle again, followed by:
Royal baby, royal baby, royal baby, royal baby, royal baby, royal baby, royal baby, royal baby and (you guessed it) royal baby.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm all very happy that two perfect strangers who I care nothing for have managed to achieve the same thing that millions of other people have achieved this year. I really don't think it was worth any where near as much as a hype as its getting though.
I really didn't give a damn about the wedding in the first place - and I really can't say I much care now.
The thing that annoys me mostly though - is that something interesting was probably happening in the world - which was masked by the endless talk of Kate Middleton's morning sickness.
I wouldn't be nearly as irritated of course - if it didn't mean another 7-8 months of yet more talk about the baby, followed by more talk when its born and lots of people insincerely talking about how wonderful it all is.
And frankly, I'm already fed up of hearing about it!
It's not that I'm negative about it - I want to make that clear. I have no feelings on it whatsoever. What's one more fucking royal hanger on for us to pay for?
I just want to make it clear - that I do not give a flying fuck about it - and I resent them talking about it as if its news that applies to me!
Rant over.
On the way home from work this evening, I listened to the news as usual. From what I can remember - there was a very very short talk about the Leveson cameron debacle again, followed by:
Royal baby, royal baby, royal baby, royal baby, royal baby, royal baby, royal baby, royal baby and (you guessed it) royal baby.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm all very happy that two perfect strangers who I care nothing for have managed to achieve the same thing that millions of other people have achieved this year. I really don't think it was worth any where near as much as a hype as its getting though.
I really didn't give a damn about the wedding in the first place - and I really can't say I much care now.
The thing that annoys me mostly though - is that something interesting was probably happening in the world - which was masked by the endless talk of Kate Middleton's morning sickness.
I wouldn't be nearly as irritated of course - if it didn't mean another 7-8 months of yet more talk about the baby, followed by more talk when its born and lots of people insincerely talking about how wonderful it all is.
And frankly, I'm already fed up of hearing about it!
It's not that I'm negative about it - I want to make that clear. I have no feelings on it whatsoever. What's one more fucking royal hanger on for us to pay for?
I just want to make it clear - that I do not give a flying fuck about it - and I resent them talking about it as if its news that applies to me!
Rant over.
Sunday, 2 December 2012
Rant 337 02/12/12 Subject: The tempting song snippet
Rant number 338
Many moons ago, nearer the start of my rants (number 118 to be exactly) I talked about earworms.
Earworms are songs stuck in your head. If you wish - you can see it here.
Now, as I see it - earworms are songs that are stuck in your head that you probably aren't really that fussed about (or plain hate.) Whatever you do, these songs won't go away, and you've got to listen to the horrible racket over and over again.
Today however, I was suffering from quite a different type of song based malady - the 'Tempting song snippet' - a name I have just made up - because it is just about the only thing I can think of that that covers it.
The tempting song snippet (or tss as I shall thenceforth refer to it) is a song that is stuck in your head that you really love - but had forgotten about.
That's great, its lovely to be reminded of something brilliant you had forgotten. The problem is though, you can't remember:
A) What its called
B) More than 20-30 seconds of how it goes
C) Who sung it
D) What the lyrics are
Meaning that your own internal version of the song is often all that you can enjoy.
Today, my tss was a song called 'You're the Voice' by John Farnham (Yes, I know this doesn't actually meet the requirements of the above, but I have since found out and I shall thenceforth explain,) and specifically its fantastic chorus. If you've never heard it - get on youtube straight away, listen to the chorus - then realise why its been going round and round in my head.
Its a really top song and its got an absolutely cracking chorus to it, but I felt a little trapped by it being in my head.
Luckily - there was something to help - an app called 'Soundhound' - which - after around 25 attempts, managed to convert my whistling into this most fantastic tune - reminding me of what it was and thusly stopping it from upsetting my chi!
I don't know why my brain must torment me in this way. It would be fantastic for it to remind me of brilliant songs I had forgotten - along with at least some semblance of information to listen to it!
Bloody brain!
Rant over.
Many moons ago, nearer the start of my rants (number 118 to be exactly) I talked about earworms.
Earworms are songs stuck in your head. If you wish - you can see it here.
Now, as I see it - earworms are songs that are stuck in your head that you probably aren't really that fussed about (or plain hate.) Whatever you do, these songs won't go away, and you've got to listen to the horrible racket over and over again.
Today however, I was suffering from quite a different type of song based malady - the 'Tempting song snippet' - a name I have just made up - because it is just about the only thing I can think of that that covers it.
The tempting song snippet (or tss as I shall thenceforth refer to it) is a song that is stuck in your head that you really love - but had forgotten about.
That's great, its lovely to be reminded of something brilliant you had forgotten. The problem is though, you can't remember:
A) What its called
B) More than 20-30 seconds of how it goes
C) Who sung it
D) What the lyrics are
Meaning that your own internal version of the song is often all that you can enjoy.
Today, my tss was a song called 'You're the Voice' by John Farnham (Yes, I know this doesn't actually meet the requirements of the above, but I have since found out and I shall thenceforth explain,) and specifically its fantastic chorus. If you've never heard it - get on youtube straight away, listen to the chorus - then realise why its been going round and round in my head.
Its a really top song and its got an absolutely cracking chorus to it, but I felt a little trapped by it being in my head.
Luckily - there was something to help - an app called 'Soundhound' - which - after around 25 attempts, managed to convert my whistling into this most fantastic tune - reminding me of what it was and thusly stopping it from upsetting my chi!
I don't know why my brain must torment me in this way. It would be fantastic for it to remind me of brilliant songs I had forgotten - along with at least some semblance of information to listen to it!
Bloody brain!
Rant over.
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