Rant number 344
I read a book once called 'One Rainy Night' by a guy called Richard Laymon. I've read many of his books in fact - but this one came to mind yesterday.
It's a good (but rather strange) but about a town where it starts to rain - certainly nothing unusual about that. The thing is though - this rain turns people into psychopathic murderous folk - a little bit like zombies but more sentient. It's a good book if you like horror stories, but that's kind of an aside to things.
The reason I thought about it yesterday was the stupidity that was so evident in town - which made me wonder if someone has started putting stupid enzymes in the rain.
To start with, after managing to park in town, a couple stood by the lift - evidently waiting for the same to arrive. There are two lifts - operated by one button. Its a pretty simple system really.
Idiot proof surely?
Evidently not.
As me and the wife approached the lifts - the left hand one opened - whilst the two idiots were too busy fiddling with their phones to notice. Inevitably, despite a slight scuttle on realisation of this - we missed the lift.
Fucking eejits.
To add to this, when we then got in the lift with tweedle dum and tweedle fucking dumber and reached the ground floor - some intellectual marvel had lined up their shopping in front of the lift doors.
I mean - had they not seen a lift before? Really?
Today, it took the almost 5 minutes to explain to a girl on the phone that our pizza was overdue and articulate our address to her.
What the hell is happening to people.
Idiot rain - thats what it bloody well is.
It would explain a lot. People watching X-Factor, Big Brother, I'm a Celebrity and pretty much everything else. People voting for David Fucking Cameron and then wondering why he's basically dry humping every last man, woman and child in the wallets. Peoples obsessions with pointless celebrities and of course the fads for wearing crocs and the like.
If I was you, I'd get out there and buy the biggest hat and umbrella you can - while you are still able to read these words.
Rant over.
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