Rant number 40
Todays rant is - lets face it - something that annoys us all. I don't know why its taken me so long to cover the subject in fact.
So - lets get down to it!
Sales people are mostly cocks. I should know - I used to be one and - and I was good at it by being - you guessed it - a bit of a cock!
So you take a sales person cock then and add in the one of the most irritating mediums of communication ever formulated - the telephone and what do you get.
A very good way to make me go fricking psycho.
Being a telesales person is almost like a criminal act.
You push your way in and invade the sanctity of someone's home, place of work or (in the case of a mobile phone,) just about anyone you can get to them.
Answering your phone is very like answering the front door to someone like that. Just the kind of person you don't want with his foot in the door.
Once in, they begin to talk - and talk and talk, and part of you thinks that its as easy as putting the phone down and thus closing the door on them.
It doesn't work like that though - because, once they have your scent and they know that real person exists on the end of the phone. They will follow you like a hound of frickin hell.
As such, you have to go through their stupid systems or listen to their speal to get them to remove you from their list or just plain fuck off.
Now the reason for their persistence is simple. They want you to accept what they have to offer or at the very least- move on to the next step so that an even pushier sales person can work their magic on you. Otherwise they don't get paid.
To give you some top tips however:
If someone wants to sell you something for your house: You rent (whether you do or not,) telling them this will remove you from their list permanently.
If they want to sell you something to doing with a mobile phone: You have a bad credit rating(whether you do or not,) once again, they will not want anything to do with you.
If they want to sell you some kind of service: Tell them its included in your bank account - this usually shuts these idiots up.
If everyone pays attention to this - hopefully we can kill the industry off.
Because - I mean: its fucking ridiculous isn't it.
If I want double glazing for my house, I will go online, get some quotes, get some research etc. I'm not going to wait for some spotty teenager to phone me up to ask me if I need any windows or doors. That this industry has managed to continue in this way at all is of a complete mystery to me. Who are these people out there who get a phone call offering them windows and go 'Fuck me, I actually could do with some windows'?
These idiots compound the problem and are a nuisance as much as the telemarketers themselves!
Its the same with all different types of businesses. You get stalked by ambulance chasers, insurance salesman - people who offer you loans even. A LOAN!
To give a bit of advice to anyone. If you want a loan for something important - visit your bank. Don't accept a loan from a dodgy bloke from an Indian call centre who suggests you may be eligible for thousands for no apparent reason.
Even charities have stooped to using telemarketers these days and I just don't agree with it.
I find the phone a pain in the ass to talk on even if I have initiated a call or if I am phoned by a friend or relation. I really don't want to here from something in the far east who wants to flog me a time share.
If you really want to have some fun - say 'yes' to everything a telemarketer asks you the next time they phone. See how long it takes them to work it out.
Rant over.
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