Rant number 47
Now, to start with, I would like to make it clear that all superfluous signage upsets me greatly. I feel however that this is too large and vast an annoyance to deal with in only one chapter.
As such, todays annoyance is most definitely the stupid road signage, and most specifically the ones you find on motorways.
It is self evident of course that road signage is an integral part of the road systems we know and love. Without them - things probably just wouldn't work.
I do feel however, that many signs can be done without.
Which brings me (via somewhat of a digression(as per usual)) to my point.
On the way to band today, on the stretch of motorway which is the highest in the country. Things suddenly went white!
'Fuck me' I exclaimed to myself, 'it appears that I have gone spontaneously blind, despite my ability to still see the lights of the car in front of me.'
As you will understand, this I felt was quite alarming. I just didn't know what to do!
Then a sign emerged out of the white blur (which I had to squint to see,) which said 'fog'. Just imagine the relief I felt: on a day when it has rained extensively, when there is a lot of water about and when I am rather high up, I never would have thought of fog!
(Regarding the above paragraphs, I realise that people say that sarcasm is the lowest form of whit. In my opinion however, the only people who say this are those who don't understand it properly.)
Are people meant to be so bereft of sense that they cannot perceive the road around them. Even when I am concentrating on operating a vehicle at high speed, I can still look out of the windscreen and notice that there is some white cloudy stuff in front of me.
Its really laughable (and irritating) to have to squint through the fog to see what the stupid sign says - in case it is more relevant than telling me the frickin obvious.
'Well, what if its only lightly foggy?' I hear you cry 'what then smarty pants?'.
Firstly, I would ask you not to interrupt me whilst I'm on a tirade, its rude of you and I would have expected better behavior. Secondly, your question has a most obvious answer, so I am once again disappointed in you. Finally, to put it bluntly
If I can't see any fog in front of me that is effecting me in any way shape or form, it is more distracting than useful to tell me about it!
And these stupid signs are not resigned only to the pointless fog notifications described above.
No
They work with traffic too.
I have literally lost count of the times I have sat in stop start traffic and crawled towards a sign that says 'queueing traffic.' I fucking know: I'm in it!
They also do this with 'queue after junction' another firm favorite of theirs.
They even go as far as to tell you succinctly 'spray, slow down.' When you could nearly swim on the fucking motorway.
The people who run them are bloody morons!
Rant over.
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