Rant 47 - 16/2/12 Subject: Superfluous road signage.

Rant number 47


Now, to start with, I would like to make it clear that all superfluous signage upsets me greatly. I feel however that this is too large and vast an annoyance to deal with in only one chapter.

As such, todays annoyance is most definitely the stupid road signage, and most specifically the ones you find on motorways.

It is self evident of course that road signage is an integral part of the road systems we know and love. Without them - things probably just wouldn't work.
I do feel however, that many signs can be done without.

Which brings me (via somewhat of a digression(as per usual)) to my point.

On the way to band today, on the stretch of motorway which is the highest in the country. Things suddenly went white!

'Fuck me' I exclaimed to myself, 'it appears that I have gone spontaneously blind, despite my ability to still see the lights of the car in front of me.'

As you will understand, this I felt was quite alarming. I just didn't know what to do!

Then a sign emerged out of the white blur (which I had to squint to see,) which said 'fog'. Just imagine the relief I felt: on a day when it has rained extensively, when there is a lot of water about and when I am rather high up, I never would have thought of fog!

(Regarding the above paragraphs, I realise that people say that sarcasm is the lowest form of whit. In my opinion however, the only people who say this are those who don't understand it properly.)


Are people meant to be so bereft of sense that they cannot perceive the road around them. Even when I am concentrating on operating a vehicle at high speed, I can still look out of the windscreen and notice that there is some white cloudy stuff in front of me.

Its really laughable (and irritating) to have to squint through the fog to see what the stupid sign says - in case it is more relevant than telling me the frickin obvious.

'Well, what if its only lightly foggy?' I hear you cry 'what then smarty pants?'. 


Firstly, I would ask you not to interrupt me whilst I'm on a tirade, its rude of you and I would have expected better behavior. Secondly, your question has a most obvious answer, so I am once again disappointed in you. Finally, to put it bluntly

If I can't see any fog in front of me that is effecting me in any way shape or form, it is more distracting than useful to tell me about it!


And these stupid signs are not resigned only to the pointless fog notifications described above.
No
They work with traffic too.
I have literally lost count of the times I have sat in stop start traffic and crawled towards a sign that says 'queueing traffic.' I fucking know: I'm in it!
They also do this with 'queue after junction' another firm favorite of theirs.

They even go as far as to tell you succinctly 'spray, slow down.' When you could nearly swim on the fucking motorway.

The people who run them are bloody morons!

Rant over.

Rant 27 - 27/1/12 Subject: Weather chaos

Rant number 27


I know, I know.


I'm sorry


but


An Englishman is about to talk about the weather


At least its taken 27 rants to get here hey?

Actually, its not a rant about the weather - so nah... The rant is about the chaos that it causes.

The reason that people across the world say that us British talk about the weather so much, is because they don't have any to talk about. It's just jealousy really.

Because we have lots and lots of weather! Mostly rain I grant thee, but we do get some other stuff too.

Today was a day with a lot of weather. I left the house in the morning to clear sky's, arrived at work to heavy rain and drove home in heavy snow - which is where the chaos comes in.

Because - for a country where it consistently snows every winter (albeit very lightly) we just can't deal with it.
At non rush hour times, my journey home takes around 20 minutes. Double this in rush hour to 40 minutes (pain in the ass already.)

Today it took nearly an hour and a half, just because there was a small shower of snow on a well gritted, well lit road. That I could not see:
A: the reason for obstruction at any point
B: any snow after the first 5 minutes

is what annoyed me.

Even as I left the motorway, the queue extended off into the distance - to god knows where.

What I want to know is - as a country, why can't we just well, deal with it?

We know that every winter it will be cold, that there will be ice & snow, fog & rain, hail & wind.
But all of these things seem to come to a massive surprise to everyone.

Are some people just unable or unwilling to drive with any intelligence as soon as there is a little precipitation? All around the world, people get it worse than us - and they seem to carry on so much better than us!

In Russia for instance, it snows heavily for half a year and goes into minus temperatures. The country does not stop dead because a couple of snow flakes have fallen onto someone's bonnet or onto the train-tracks.

We need to realise that the weather isn't going anywhere, and come up with a way to deal with it!

Rant over.