Rant 90 - 30/3/12 Subject: The problem with bottles

Rant number 90


Todays rant is firstly about sauces. I am quite meticulous about them. As far as I am concerned  each meal has a condiment that goes best with it and no variation is allowed!

Bacon sandwiches or fry-ups - brown sauce.
Burgers - Ketchup.
Hotdogs - Mustard & ketchup.
Chicken - Barbeque sauce.
Chinese - Soy sauce.

etc. etc.
Me being so specific about things, means that I - at any time need to have at my disposal quite a few bottles of sauce. That's just fine with me, but the ever bottles creates a problem - and brings me to my point! (Roughly 8 lines of text to get me to the point, is that a waffling record?)

Bottles are wasteful!

Whatever the type of bottle you have, be it traditional hard sided glass or modern, plastic and squidgy -  there is no way to get all of the sauce/beer/oil/whatever out of the bottle. It just bugs me so much!

I hate wastage in all of its forms, and there must be literally a million or or litres of wasted brown sauce, ketchup, special sauce, mayo and a hundred other types of sauce and drinks sitting in bottles - clinging on for dear life.

Its a worldwide problem - someone needs to invent something! I mean, the design of a bottle has been around for ages - and its not exactly evolved.

Glass bottles particularly are a real pain. I know that they are nicer to look at than their plastic counterparts and that they have some kind of historical appeal. The thing is, that they were replaced for a good reason! Strong tasting things like sauces are well housed in a plastic bottle - and can be forced out at will.

Have you ever tried to pour ketchup from a brand new bottle!? Its just impossible, the suction defeats gravity hands down - forcing you to go for the 'knife poke' technique - which I really don't like! The end of the bottle too is always particularly full of wastage - it sucks.

The only things that should be in glass bottles is substances like beer - which can be tainted by outside interference! Even then though - the wastage upsets me no end! I can't even begin to imagine how many pints of wastage I've left in the bottom of bottles over the years.

Come on scientists, sort it out: wastage free bottles need to be invented soon (you can call them wottles if you want, but you will have to pay me for the name - because I have invented that (you read it here people!))

Rant over.