'Once upon a time, there was a hypothetical country - lets called it England.
In this hypothetical country, there were lots and lots of colours.
The inhabitants of said country, being a cheerful bunch daubed bright pigments and patterns around their homes and places of work in order to enjoy their surroundings.
And for many many years it was good.
As the country was nearing the end of its 20th century however, someone decided that these 'colours' were too much, and that 'neutral' was that much cooler.
And then - it wasn't good any more
The end'
I hate bloody magnolia paint.
I, like many people of my age rent a flat as opposed to owning my own home.
As a result, I am not in a position where I can decorate my home in the fashion which I would like.
And you can just guess what colour the walls are cant you?
I'm not saying that I want to paint the walls bright green with yellow polka-dots. But a little colour somewhere along the lines.
As if this wasn't enough, the rental agent have put up some lovely curtains too - also magnolia.
Certain sections of my flat look almost completely monotone.
But not quite.
Because magnolia is of course not quite white is it?
It's what is affectionally called 'off-white' (but is really just - white with a bit of yellow added.)
I mean - why not just white, if you're going to be boring? magnolia looks like someone has accidentally white paint with the wrong bloody paint wash!
I could almost tolerate the colour at home a little more, if it didn't stalk me everywhere I go. My work place has magnolia walls. My friends houses have magnolia walls. My local shop has magnolia walls.
I am being drowned in a sea of magnolia.
People of britain - nay the world, I petition you - bring back colour!
Rant over.
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This is my artists impression of the sea of magnolia
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