Tuesday, 17 January 2012

Rant 17 - 17/1/12 Subject: Delia

Rant number 17


Apologies for the very late posting ladies and gents. I've only just got back. Which - bearing in mind the subject in question - may be understandable...

So who is Delia? Well Delia is not a she. She is a what...

This evening, I had around a 50 mile trip to make. This in its self is no problem. Unfortunately however - I did not know the way there exactly. I had a plan however.

After much begging and pleading (and the administration of a minor sedative) I was able to prize my wife's much loved iPhone 4 from her hands. On it you see is a SatNav - which I felt would - most definitely mean that I would get there in double quick time.

Definitely...


Having a healthy distrust for technology (despite having a degree in Music technology - go figure) due to my upbringing in movies (think the Terminator crossed with Demon Seed via Event Horizon  - all within my grumpy head goo) I also printed out a paper copy of a route.

I really, really should have risked it with the paper


Knowing that I would be able to get to around 5 miles from where I was going without any guidance, I set off in high spirits - with a view to pulling over around where I was familiar. And this I did.

Which is where I made a very silly error.

My paper copy said go left - and Delia 'knowing better' said to go right.

I trusted her friendly, patronising and dulcet tones. 


This, if I am not mistaken - added around 10 miles to my journey (with change,) took around 20 minutes longer and stressed the hell out of me. Ball-ache - really does not cover it.

The thing is, Delia has done this before - more than once.

She forgets roundabouts exist, gives misleading instructions, sends me down dead ends - and various other annoyances.

And lets face it - I'm talking about Delia here- but I really am describing the problems with Sat-Navs in general.

To be very fair to them - and I really should be. Sat-Navs have made traveling to areas outside of your area a little easier.

My issue with them is more that - to use one, you need to put your trust in its hands - which is always always dangerous with a machine (Westworld, the Matrix, I Robot.)

We've all seen and laughed at idiots who have driven through streams or into super narrow lanes at a Sat-Nav's bequest. In an unknown area however, you can see almost see how people can get themselves into these scrapes - although there is evidently some lacking common sense going on there.

The moral I suppose is to trust road signs and maps rather than following the Sat-Nav like a mindless idiot. Have you ever noticed how many times the Sat-Nav seems to be taking you away from your destination!?

Rant over.

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