Rant 29 - 29/1/12 Subject: Man-Flu

Rant number 29


This week, my poor wife has got a really bad cold. She nearly lost her voice in-fact.

Being of a chivalrous bent, I - like any good husband, stood up to the plate, put her to bed, brought her hot chocolate and did my best to make her better.

Was I ever punished for it though!

I've got bloody man flu!

Man flu is a pain in the ass, simple as.

So what is man-flu? I hear you ladies cry

Well - its a bit like the common cold, but 100 times worse (but only for those with a Y chromosome)

Anyway


I should probably be a little bit more specific, so I will talk about the common cold.

Getting a cold is a pain in the ass and can turn even the most masculine gentleman (or lady) into a dribbling, seeping snotty mess.

We are a species that have been evolving for - well either millions or years or a bit less, depending on your theological bent. In this time, you would have thought that we would have managed to come up with a way to be more resistant and resilient to a couple of micro-organisms

We aren't any good however, we are rubbish.

We have doctors and scientists who can resolve many issues and illnesses. For colds however - all we can manage is something to slightly relieve the symptoms (but only just) in lozenge or sweet form.

The worse thing of all however, is that - to prevent us getting really poorly from something like a cold, your body goes to some pretty extreme measures.

Ever had a really soar throat with a cold? Yeah me too.

This is your body - killing off the cells in your throat to prevent infection!

Ever sneeze uncontrollably for what seems like hours!? - this is your body ejecting unwanted organisms.

Ever drown in head goo? This is your body trying to stop the bad stuff from getting around your body.

Its all very necessary, but pretty bloody awful.

I currently feel like my eyes are too big for their sockets, snotty and achy. Its pretty bloody horrid.

As such - I am contemplating a way of hermetically sealing myself from the rest of the germy bloody world (quite possibly a plastic bubble.)

Urgh!

Rant over.