Rant number 31
Todays rant is about the stupid names that people call their children.
This is most common amongst two select groups - the celebrity & the idiot (if these groups can be said to be separate - just a thought)
So why does it bug me? Because I think that is unfair & because I can empathise with these poor children.
I understand that people want to be individual - and that they may wish to imbue their offspring with a similar level of individuality.
It shows however, a major lack of understanding, empathy or - lets face it - giving a flying fuck, to call your children anything as ridiculous as the names thrown around by celebrities.
Gwyneth Paltrow for instance, called her daughter 'Apple.' Now don't get me wrong: I like a nice juicy, crunchy apple as much as the next man. No part of me however has ever thought to itself 'what a lovely name for someone.'
And why is this? because it is not a name for someone. It is a name for something. It is the name for a fruit - called an apple.
Sadly, this is not an isolated case in the slightest.
Robert Rodriguez decided to call his sons Rocket, Racer, Rebel, Rogue & Rhiannon. That only one of these actually qualifies for a real name (and lets face is Rhiannon is quite unusual) - shows the arrogance that celebrities hold in their overinflated heads.
Outside of Celebrity circles - I am aware of a friends relative who is called Blade - in homage to the big black vampire hunting badass from the comics. The thing is, in comic books its OK to be called Blade. In real life, that kid is going to get ripped apart in the schoolyard!
And going back to celebs, I think we have a winner (and king of the idiots).
David & Victoria Beckham called their poor poor (poor poor(poor poor)poor) daughter Harper Seven.
I mean, really? That's just mean. She sounds like the name of a 70s spandex heavy sci-fi show!
I wish people thought of their babies - not themselves a bit more!
Rant over.
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